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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981993">Whatever It Takes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoSupernatural/pseuds/PsychoSupernatural'>PsychoSupernatural</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Affection, Canon-Typical Violence, Falling In Love, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Ghostbur is such a good boy please someone love him, I just want the boys to be looked after god damn it, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Not Beta Read, Platonic Relationships, The DNF is quite background i cant lie, beta read by Grammarly lmao, mentions of abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:02:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>47,875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoSupernatural/pseuds/PsychoSupernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She stared at the letter in her hands. The black printed words stared back at her.<br/>‘Decree of Citizenship for the Nation of the Dream SMP’<br/>“What the fuck.” </p><p>***</p><p>Look I think we can all agree we just want someone to show Ghostbur and SMP!Tommy some fucking love and kindness. This is what this fic is for. Except it actually also has a plot!! I have a plan!! That’s absolutely unheard of from me lmao. </p><p>I’m not sure how popular this will be with people, I know OC fanfics tend to not do super well, but I’ve tried my best. I hope you give it a chance!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>180</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The first part of this chapter is going to have to be some boring world building. Yes I know, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll give the boys some loving asap. This chapter’s fairly long because I needed to put in the important background info at the start but I also wanted to have her first meeting with Ghostbur in chapter 1. I hope you enjoy and thank you for giving this a chance!</p><p>This note was put at the end of the chapter but I've moved it to here - Just incase you are here from any of my social medias where I'm using the @Silkoline_ username. </p><p>In case anyone was wondering Silkoline De’Cadinn is an anagram on my first and last name. Silks real name is also an anagram of my first and middle name. Silk isn’t supposed to be me, ‘username’ names are just difficult to come up with so I figured an anagram was an easy way to come up with one! The ‘De’cadinn’ part is really just using the spare letters, Silkoline is her main code name that will be used in the story.</p><p>Silk is NOT supposed to be me. I do not imagine myself in her place when writing these stories. I began using the @Silkoline_ username AFTER writing and posting this story. I did this because I wanted to start interacting with the MCYT community more and as I explained above Silkoline is actually derived from an anagram of my name. I would just hate for anyone to think this is some shitty self-insert OC fic lmao.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She stared at the letter in her hands. The black printed words stared back at her.</p><p>‘<em>Decree of Citizenship for the Nation of the Dream SMP’</em></p><p>“What the <em>fuck</em>.”</p><p>‘<em>This official document, signed by our nation’s ruler King George the first, signifies that</em>-‘</p><p>Her grip crumpled the edges of the paper. <em>They used my real name</em>.</p><p>‘-<em>is officially recognised as a citizen of the Dream SMP. The above-mentioned person(s) are thus required to attend a meeting with the current ruler at once to discuss their immediate relocation to the Nation of the Dream SMP</em>.’</p><p>She let out a tired sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. She hadn’t even been aware that she was being considered for citizenship. She hadn’t been aware that Dream even knew she <em>existed</em>. “What a joke. No warning? No discussion? Do I even get a choice in this?”<br/>
Even with no one there to confirm it, she knew the answer to that was a resounding ‘<em>No’</em>.</p><p>Still…</p><p>Excitement tugged at her chest. <em>The</em> Dream SMP. Even in a land far away from there, they heard the stories. An exclusive nation. Invite only. Not just <em>anyone</em> was given citizenship. She had been <em>chosen</em>. By Dream himself.</p><p>She re-read the decree.</p><p>
  <em>‘Immediate relocation’</em>
</p><p>She began to pack her things.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Making her journey to the Nation of the Dream SMP at her first opportunity had seemed like a good plan at the time</p><p>However, as she stood outside the nation’s castle – alone- she began to doubt the idea.</p><p>In her excitement she had failed to think about when she would arrive at the Dream SMP based on when she had left.</p><p>The moon was bright, but low in the sky and she assumed it was some ridiculous time of the night already, likely around 4am.</p><p>The castle was exceptional. It had looked large when she had approached, but when standing at the castle doors it looked even grander. She could tell from the architecture that someone had put a lot of thought into building this. The stone bricks were cool to the touch due to the brisk night air and well-placed lanterns lit up the castle walls.</p><p>She sighed and leaned against the wall. The cold seeped through her clothes making her shiver.</p><p><em>I supposed I should find somewhere to sleep</em>. She hummed in thought. <em>I doubt anyone is around at this time.</em></p><p>As if the universe had read her thoughts, a loud crack resounded in the silence. The sound had been caused by several pebbles falling from above and clattering to the cobbled pavement below.</p><p>She glanced up. The sight that greeted her causing her to instinctively reach for the bow strapped to her back. A man was sitting on one of the castle’s archways. His legs hung over the edge and he was kicking his feet casually, leaning back on his hands. The moonlight glinted off a white mask that obscured his facial features. Said mask turned toward her once the man noticed her, the painted smile revealing nothing about the man.</p><p>She took a step back as the man swung his feet and leapt down from the castle arch, landing at her feet and casually placing his hands in his pockets.</p><p>He was tall. Significantly taller than her. He was dressed in shiny back armour, a green t-shirt just visible under the plates. He held an axe in his hands, the moonlight gleaming off the black metal in an almost threatening manner. Soft looking tuffs of dirty blond hair poked out in the space between his mask and his hood, the only other visible part of his face being his mouth.</p><p>“So, you finally arrived?” The man spoke, his voice carrying in the night-time silence.</p><p>She didn’t drop her guard, instead she questioned the man, demanding to know who he was.</p><p>The man let out a small laugh and gave her a mocking bow. “<em>Dream</em>, at your service Milady”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. <em>This</em> was Dream?</p><p>Her eyes flicked toward the moon. “How on earth did you know I was coming at this time?”</p><p>Dream grinned but said nothing. He held a taunting finger to his lips, turning on his heel and gesturing for her to follow him into the castle.</p><p>She almost didn’t follow. Something about the situation didn’t sit right with her. However, this was <em>the</em> Dream. The person who chose her.</p><p>And so she trailed behind Dream into the castle – its not like she had anywhere else to go.</p><p>The castle was vast inside and out, she realised. The decorations were intricate, and the ceilings were high. To her left was a grand throne made from solid gold. It seemed Dream pulled out all the stops for the sake of his King’s home.</p><p>It was at the foot of the throne that Dream chose to stop. He gestured to an infamous ‘ender chest’ that was located at the throne’s side. “Put your things in there. There are plenty of these all over the nation, so you won’t have any trouble retrieving them.”<br/>
She obligingly placed all of her things, aside from her bow, arrows and some food, into the chest.</p><p>A smiled played on Dreams lip, likely due to her decision to keep herself armed. He leant back against wide arm of the throne. She supposed doing such a thing was the privilege of the person this nation was named after.</p><p>“So,” He twirled the heavy axe between his nimble fingers. “Let’s get down to business shall we?”</p><p>“What’s your code name?” Dream enquired.</p><p>She narrowed her eyes. “I know you know it, <em>Dream</em>. I also know it is considered rude amongst our kind to use a person’s real name when you are fully aware of their code name. So, <em>this-</em>” She removed the Decree from her pocket and thrust it in his face. “-was not appreciated.”</p><p>A smirk pulled at Dream’s lips. “I do apologise.” He said. innocently, but there was a teasing lilt in his voice. “So, <em>Silkoline </em>was it? Or do you prefer to be addressed in full, <em>Silkoline De’Cadinn</em>? Although, I must say that doesn’t roll off the tongue in quite the same way.”</p><p>“It’s an anagram.” She snapped. “Just Silk is fine.” Something about this man was rubbing her the wrong way.</p><p>“I thought I was supposed to be having an audience with the <em>king</em>?” Silk raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Dream smirked. “The King is sleeping. As you can probably imagine given the hour”</p><p>Silk at least has the grace to look sheepish. “He’s a wonderful king, but he’s more of a figurehead than a ruler I will admit. After all, I’m the one that <em>made</em> him King. An audience with me will be more than good enough I can assure you.”</p><p>“You may not require a meeting with the King, but there are several things you do need to know.” Dream’s tone turned serious. “About the Dream SMP.”</p><p>Dream then spent an inordinate amount of time filling Silk in on the nation’s history.</p><p>All the wars and revolutions. More specifically the troublesome history caused by a place called L’Manberg. She was told about all the people that lived in the nation. How and why they were chosen, the roles they had played in the previous wars, their skills and abilities, even what they were like as individuals.</p><p>Despite Dream’s seemingly arrogant nature, he spoke highly of these individuals. He praised even the ones that had caused him endless troubles. He spoke honestly and positively about their good and bad points. It was clear that Dream had done a deep assessment of everyone at some point or another.</p><p>It made Silk wonder if he thought this highly of her.</p><p>Just as he had begun telling her about their newest member – a boy called Ranboo? -  Dream paused and glanced at her. “I can practically see what you want to ask written on your face.” A knowing smile graced his lips. “Go ahead”<br/>
“Why me?” Silk asked without hesitation, resisting the urge to blush at being so easily read.</p><p>Dream full on grinned at the question. At some point in their conversation, he had moved to actually <em>sit</em> on the King’s throne. He now leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His clasped hands rested under his chin in a display of eager interest.<br/>
“I’ve heard certain stories about a certain girl,” Dream teased her again. “with the code name Silkoline De’Cadinn. Who is <em>incredibly</em> proficient with a bow.”</p><p>Silk took a step back and her hand instinctively flew to said bow, strapped to her back.</p><p>“And what it of it?” She narrowed her eyes.</p><p>Dream laughed, sitting back and relaxing his shoulders.  “No need to look to tense. I’m sure you’ve heard stories of the Dream SMP. We are always looking for talented people to join us here. Afterall…”<br/>
Dream’s smile straightened into a more serious expression. “We are the best of the best.”</p><p>Silk felt <em>something</em> in her chest at his indirect praise. <em>She</em> had been chosen to be part of ‘the best of the best’. Despite this being their first time meeting, she had somehow proven herself and had been recognised by <em>him</em>.</p><p>The creak of a door drew the pair’s attention away from each other. A shorter man entered the room, rubbing at his eyes.</p><p>“Dream?” His voice was croaky like he had just woken up. Silk considered that they might have woken him, given the time.</p><p>The other man’s hair was dark and messy from sleep. He was swamped in a blue and red t-shirt and was blinking blearily at the pair as if he couldn’t quite see them properly.</p><p>Dream was across the room and at the other man’s side with such haste that Silk questioned how he had even managed to move that fast. Dream laid one hand on the man shoulder, the other coming up to cup his cheek. Dream leaned in close, smoothing his thumb across the man’s cheek and murmuring quiet words to him in such a way that Silk looked away from the two. It felt like she was intruding.</p><p>“Silkoline.” Dream’s voice drew her attention back to the pair after a moment. His voice was considerably softer than it had been during their previous discussion. Silk assumed this was due to the arrival of the other man. Dream had his back to her. The other man’s body was hidden by his own. Silk could tell Dream had his arms wrapped around the other man’s body, holding him to his chest as if Silk could have harmed him with just a look.</p><p>“I have to tend to the King-“ <em>The King? That man was King George?</em> “- you are free to go do as you please.”</p><p>“Wait!” Silk called out as quickly Dream made to leave the room. “As I please? Are there no rules? Why did you invite me here?”</p><p>Dream paused. “No starting wars. Nothing that will threaten the King or any democratically elected government. No behaviour that could be in any way classed as domestic terrorism, that includes griefing other’s property. Aside from that you are free to do and go, whatever and wherever you please. Feel free to build anything you want to as long as its not in a disruptive location. As I said – I invited you here because I think you’re exceptional. Nothing more, nothing less. I doubt you will need anything from me but if you do, I will be <em>around</em>.”<br/>
Then Dream was gone.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Silk felt disorientated.</p><p>Dream had invited her here for…nothing? She was free to do whatever she wanted? Go where she pleased? Build whatever her heart desired? She had no purpose here?</p><p>
  <em>“I invited you here because I think you’re exceptional”</em>
</p><p>Silk gripped her bow tighter. There had to be a catch. She didn’t trust Dream in any capacity. Anyone with a half a brain knew that whilst George was the King, it was Dream that held the real power. She hadn’t even been required to meet the King for Christ’s sake.</p><p>Thoughts swirled around her head. She felt like she couldn’t hold on to just one, like they were trying to escape her consideration. Her feet took her along the twisting wooden path thoughtlessly, as if she had walked it a hundred times before.</p><p>Lanterns glowed in the darkness, lighting her way and illuminating the buildings surrounding her. The sky was dark blue. The type of blue that occurred just before a sunrise. The early morning air was cool, raising goosebumps on her arms and clearing her head slightly. Silk found this refreshing in a way, after the stress of the last day. The Dream SMP really was beautiful when it was at peace. There was no one else around, her echoing footsteps the only noise in the silence. She took the calm moment to clear her worrying thoughts, instead focusing on her surroundings. There was stunning architecture everywhere she looked. Dream must have truly meant what he said about the people here being the best of the best. It was serene. Not at all like the nation in turmoil that Dream had made it out to be.</p><p><em>I suppose the turmoil is asleep at this hour </em>Silk mused</p><p>She really had no direction in her travel. Silk just wanted to take the opportunity <em>not</em> to think. The time since she had received word of her new citizenship had been more stressful than she had initially thought. She felt as though she hadn’t slept for a week.</p><p>Silk sighed and continued her path. She eventually came to a town of sorts. There seemed to have been a concerted effort to establish this area as ‘different’ to the area she had just come from. Her hand lightly brushed over a sign on a wall.</p><p>
  <em>‘L’Manberg’</em>
</p><p><em>Ah</em>, she thought. This<em> is what Dream had been talking about</em></p><p>In the partial darkness Silk found the ‘<em>Country’</em> captivating. Floating lanterns lit up the sky above her, suspended there as if by magic. The large stone tower loomed over the many log cabins, all shining a bewitching light into the darkness. There were large lakes on either side of her, the lights from the country’s centre glittering on the still surface. There was still no one else to be seen, the silence blanketing Silk’s senses and giving her the sense of being in another realm. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, taking a deep breath of the crisp morning air. She likely only had minutes until the sun rose, but Silk just wanted to live in this overwhelming sense of peace for a moment longer.</p><p>The spell was broken to by a noise to her left. Silk was immediately at attention, whipping round towards the noise. A boy was stood at the edge of the lake, his back to her. Silk grabbed her bow tightly. She hadn’t heard a <em>thing</em> until just now, but somehow this boy was a few feet away from her?</p><p><em>He must have been following me</em>. Silk panicked.</p><p>“<em>Hey</em>!” She shouted out to the boy, walking closer.</p><p>It happened all at once.</p><p>Silk drew her bow, arrow poised and ready to fire. The boy noticed her, turning his whole body towards her, and staring at her with wide brown eyes. He looked frightened. Not in any way threatening. As this fact occurred to Silk, the boy took a panicked step backwards. His body pitched backwards as his feet teetered over the lake’s edge. Silk dropped her bow and lurched forwards her hands outstretched, as if she could somehow catch the boy before he fell despite the vast distance between them.</p><p>But…</p><p>The boy did not fall. Even though he had stepped off the solid ground, his body stayed suspended in the air. The tips of his shoes brushed the surface of the water, barely making a ripple. The frightened expression on his face did not change. He looked seconds away from bolting.</p><p>Silk’ eyes widened<em>. How was he…?</em></p><p>“Wait!” She called out to him weakly. She crept closer to the lake, abandoning her bow where it lay discarded on the floor.</p><p>The boy paused and glanced over at her nervously. He shrank back from her approach and drew his knees up to his chest, further confirming that he was in fact floating.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Silk spoke as softly as she could whilst still being heard. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>The boys lowered his knees and peered at Silk as she reached about a foot away from him. The boy was tall. He appeared to be just under a foot taller than Silk. The fact that he was also floating a few inches above the surface of the water meant that Silk had to look upwards to study him properly. The boy towered over her, but not in a threatening manner. He was wearing a yellow jumper, the sleeves of which were slightly too long, the boy’s fingers only just being visible behind the frayed edges of the sleeves. His brown hair looked…fluffy. Most of it was tucked into a black beanie, but the fringe of his hair poked out, the ends hazardously close to obscuring his vision. Those large brown eyes were staring at her. Silk was used to being surveyed by others. People often stared at her in such a way that she knew she was being scrutinized. But <em>his</em> gaze felt like such an innocent observation. Like he was really <em>looking</em> at her, rather than just searching her for information.</p><p>Silk was in a daze. Such a beautiful boy floating on a lake at dawn. She had to be imagining it.</p><p>The sun then began to peek over the horizon. Colours of the sunrise flooded her vision. A pink and orange glow danced across the water’s surface. Soft colours glittered and reflected off it and illuminated their faces. Only…it seemed that the suns beams passed straight through the boy. He was illuminated, but he still seemed transparent. Like he wasn’t truly there.</p><p>The new morning light made the boy look completely ethereal. He was so beautiful that Silk felt as though she was dreaming.</p><p>As if in a trance Silk reached out a hand towards the boy. He floated closer, tentatively extending a hand in return. Her heart was in her throat. She felt as if she even breathed too harshly it would shatter this illusion she had found herself in. However, once their fingertips touched the illusion became very real. Silk gasped as if she had been shocked but, contrary to her instinctive reaction, she stepped closer and intertwined their fingers. Silk stared in wonder.</p><p>She didn’t know how to describe how the boy’s hand felt. Silk imagined this is what touching a cloud felt like. Her mind could recognise that she was touching <em>something</em>, but it did not feel like any human hand she knew. His hand was unmistakably <em>not</em> solid. His fingers were cold, but gentle against her skin. It was like the sensation of a gentle breeze sweeping over her skin. It felt as though her fingers would pass straight through him if she squeezed too hard. She stared at the boy, who looked equally as fascinated by her own hand.</p><p>“Who are you?” The two spoke in sync.</p><p>The boy looked surprised and blinked at her. “I’m Wilbur” He spoke. His voice was soft and sweet. It cracked slightly on the last syllable, as if he wasn’t sure of himself.</p><p>“I’m M-“ Silk stopped and shook her head, as if that would get rid of the light feeling that had overwhelmed her. “My names Silkoline. Uh, Silk.”</p><p>“You’re new here” The boy – <em>Wilbur</em> – stated.</p><p>“I am” Silk nodded, her voice still quiet, scared of moving in case the boy disappeared in the morning light. </p><p>“You’re floating.” Silk whispered.</p><p>Wilbur nodded. “I died. I can float now. But I can’t do a lot of other things.” He frowned slightly. “I cant feel your hand that well.”</p><p><em>He died?</em><br/>
Silk vaguely recognised that this information should be more disturbing to her, but at that moment all she could focus on was the desperation to stop the boy frowning that was clawing at her chest. “That’s okay, I can feel your hand still. It’s very gentle, but I can feel you.”</p><p>The smile he gave Silk was dazzling. It seemed impossibly brighter than the sunrise peering over the hills. Silk felt her heart stutter in her chest, the feeling almost making her jump in surprise.</p><p>Suddenly the smile dropped from his face and he looked thoughtful “I left m-“ Wilbur stopped and furrowed his brow slightly. He paused for a long time. “I-I…I forgot what I left. I left something. I left it in my…my house.”</p><p>Wilbur looked confused, a slightly distressed look gracing his features.</p><p>“I need to go!” Wilbur announced. “I forgot, but if I go back I might remember. So its okay! Let’s talk again soon, okay?”</p><p>The smile was back again and all Silk could do was nod in agreement. Wilbur gave a small wave before floating off in the direction of a large crane.</p><p>Once he was out of sight, Silk nearly collapsed.</p><p>
  <em>What on earth?</em>
</p><p>Silk had an inexplicably uneasy feeling in her chest.</p><p>
  <em>The Dream SMP. What is this place? </em>
</p><p>Silk turned to watch the slow sunrise, the light making her brown eyes almost glow. As a new morning dawned on the Dream SMP, Silk realised that there was likely a lot more to the Dream SMP than she had initially thought.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp there we go. Kudos and comment are very very appreciated, even if its constructive criticism I would love to hear it. I’m not sure when I’ll post the next chapter, I kind of want to see if there’s any reaction to this one first honestly. I hope everyone enjoyed, Tommy’s streams are making me so sad the moment lol so I’m really fired up to show him and Wilbur some love through this fic!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Whisper of Something</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter I really appreciate it! </p><p>I didn’t get this chapter out as quickly as I’d wanted to because I’ve been ill :(<br/>I have now made an even more detailed plan now and I’m looking at about 15 chapters to complete the story. I'll be aiming to post around one chapter a week, maybe more. It took me five days to write this one so hopefully I can keep up this pace!</p><p>This chapter is some more introductions as well as another Silk and Wilbur scene at the end.</p><p>I just thought I'd mention - I put in an incredibly brief description of Silk in this chapter, but how she looks has no relevance to the plot so feel free to imagine her however you wish!</p><p>Please let me know if you enjoy!</p><p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Silk woke up blue eyes were peering at her.</p><p>A young boy was bent over her. He straightened up and made a small sound of surprise when he saw that Silk was awake.</p><p>In the early hours of the morning, Silk had crafted a bed and built a small hut to sleep in. After her long day she had completely crashed, not sparing a second thought to where she had located herself. Said hut is where she was currently, with her legs tangled in the cotton sheets and the boy standing at the foot of her bed.</p><p>“Are you the new person Dream was talking about?” He questioned.</p><p>Silk blinked at him, pausing for long enough that the boy rushed to explain himself.</p><p>“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. This hut is obviously new, so I came to check it out. You’ve got to be Silkoline, right?” The boy explained</p><p>“Yeah…yeah, I am. Just Silk is fine.” Silk rubbed her eyes. It was early. She could hear birds outside. She can’t have slept that long. She felt more tired than usual, especially after the bizarre dream she had last night. “Sorry, who are you?”<br/>“Oh! Oh no, I’m sorry, my name is Tubbo!” The boy scrambled to introduce himself. He stood up straighter. “I’m the President!”<br/>Silk gaped at him.</p><p>She probably looked incredibly rude, but it was early for her and this boy was…he was a <em>child</em>.</p><p>He was about an inch shorter than her. He was wearing a black suit that looked formal and well kept, but his round cheeks and bright eyes made him look truly childlike from all perspectives.</p><p>“Sorry, uh.” Silk rubbed her eyes again. “How old are you exactly?”</p><p>“I’m sixteen!” Tubbo smiled.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I’m still dreaming? </em>
</p><p>“Is that not a bit young?” Silk enquired. Maybe it wasn’t the politest way to have asked, but she still felt half asleep. Thinking of a way to skirt around the question was beyond her at this point.</p><p>Tubbo laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, maybe I am, but I was appointed so I had to step up to the role. I try my best.”</p><p>“Were you looking to live in L’Manberg?” Tubbo titled his head at her</p><p>Silk paused. She hadn’t really thought about where exactly she was going to live in the Dream SMP. After everything that had happened last night, she hadn’t stopped to consider such a thing yet. She explained this to Tubbo</p><p>“Well let me show you around. We’d love to have you here, so maybe that will convince you!” Tubbo smiled at her, looking hopeful.</p><p>Silk easily agreed to this, not having any other plans yet. Silk yawned, procuring a hair tie and scraping her long, dark brown hair into a high ponytail. Two stray sections, that were too short to be held back, fell forwards framing her face pleasantly. She shrugged on her jacket and strapped her bow to her back, before obligingly following Tubbo out of her makeshift shack.</p><p>The midday sun shone on L’Manberg. It was not quite as ethereal looking as it had been last night, but it was still incredibly pretty.</p><p>Silk felt a tug in her chest as she found her eyes wandering back to <em>that</em> lake.</p><p>It was inoffensive. It was a still shimmering pool, the surface reflecting the sun’s rays like a mirror. The water lapped peacefully at the lake’s shore. It was a perfectly normal lake. She should barely have given the tranquil water a passing glance.</p><p>Silk couldn’t help but stare.</p><p>She felt an echo of longing in her heart. Maybe if she looked for long enough the boy from her dream would materialise and she could reach out her hand – reach out to <em>him</em> – once more.</p><p>Silk looked away.</p><p>She tuned back into what Tubbo was saying and nodded politely. There were far nicer things to look at in L’Manberg than one of their many lakes, she was sure. In fact, there were <em>a lot</em> of lakes in L’Manberg, she realised.</p><p>Something that Silk hadn’t noticed last night, was that most of the houses had been built over a vast cavern that was filled with water.</p><p>It <em>looked</em> lovely, but Silk found it decidedly odd that they would choose such an awkward landscape in which to build their country, given the amount of land that the Nation of the Dream SMP laid claim to.</p><p>Tubbo dutifully took her on a tour of L’Manberg. He named all the buildings for her, explaining their history. He advised her of the people who resided in L’Manberg and the roles they played – now and in the past.</p><p>Silk noticed that, despite being a child, Tubbo did not behave like one. He carried himself with certainty and spoke with confidence. There was an undertone of unabashed pride in every word he spoke about his country. Silk could sense that he was entirely dedicated to the well-being of this place.</p><p>
  <em>I supposed a dedicated child is far better for a country than a corrupt adult. </em>
</p><p>Silk smiled. Maybe this would be a pleasant place for her to stay.</p><p>They stopped on a high up platform – the Presidential podium, Tubbo explained. She could see nearly all of L’Manberg from this high. It was a beautiful day. The sun shone down on the country with a pleasant warmth and a soft breeze gently cooled her skin.</p><p>Still…</p><p>Silk felt off.</p><p>With an almost birds-eye view of L’Manberg, her eyes were once again drawn to the lake. Silk couldn’t shake feeling her dream last night left her with. Images of the boy on the lake flashed before her eyes. His smile. His eyes. How he had looked in the colours of the sunrise. His hand intertwined with her own. It had felt so <em>real</em>. Her desire for an explanation clawed at her like an itch. She turned to Tubbo.</p><p>“Tubbo is ther-“</p><p>“Tubbo! Is that a <em>woman</em>?” She was cut off by a voice sounding behind them, accompanied by rapidly approaching footsteps.</p><p>Silk was abruptly pulled out of her previous thoughts, as an involuntary laugh burst out of her at the comment. She raised an eyebrow and turned towards the voice, a smile creeping on to her face.</p><p>A tall boy was approaching them, a large grin on his face. He had blonde hair, bright blue eyes and was wearing a red and white t-shirt.</p><p>“Tommy!” Tubbo seemed happy to see the boy. “This is Silkoline, she just arrived here last night.”</p><p>The boy fist pumped, looking excited “This is great news Tubbo, we need more women in L’Manberg! Aside from us, it’s just losers and a <em>furry</em>.” He turned towards Silk. “I’m Tommy and you should know that I <em>love</em> women.”</p><p>Silk burst into laughter again. <em>Quite the introduction</em>.</p><p>Once she had stopped laughing, she raised an eyebrow at Tommy, a smile still on her face “I think you maybe you’re a bit young for me?”</p><p>The boy paused, then -</p><p>“Nah, I don’t think so!” He replied, a cheeky grin on his face</p><p>“I was just about to take her to Ghostbur’s house” Tubbo explained “Do you want to come?”</p><p>Tommy groaned “Oh no don’t let Ghostbur near her, he’ll scare her away by being all weird, givin’ her blue and shit.”</p><p>
  <em>Ghostbur? </em>
</p><p>Tubbo frowned. “I’m just giving her a tour of L’Manberg, that’s a part of it.”</p><p>“Yeah, <em>unfortunately</em>.” Tommy muttered.</p><p>“Hi Tommy!”</p><p>Tommy jumped, swearing heavily at the surprise as a pained expression crossed his face. He turned toward the new voice.</p><p>“You’re like a fucking pop-up ad.” Tommy bitched. “Do you just follow people around waiting for them to mention you?”</p><p>Silk looked over Tommy’s shoulder.</p><p>Her heart seemed to stop as brown eyes looked back at her.</p><p>Tommy’s harsh words were drowned into background noise and it was like she had developed tunnel vision.</p><p>It was the boy from the lake.</p><p>
  <em>I thought that was a dream.</em>
</p><p>“Thought what was a dream?” Tubbo tilted his head at Silk, making her realise she had spoken out loud. Silk shook her head faintly in response, still mostly focused on the boy in front of her.</p><p>Wilbur’s attention was drawn from Tommy to her. He smiled.</p><p>“Ghostbur this is Silkoline!” Tubbo needlessly introduced her.</p><p>Wilbur – <em>Ghostbur</em>? – nodded. “I know! I met her last night. We’re friends!”</p><p>A soft smile came to Silk’s face. “We sure are.” She nodded, her chest feeling warm.</p><p>“Oh what the fuck, this is hopeless! Ghostbur’s already corrupted her.” Tommy moaned, facepalming dramatically. “I’ll never get a girlfriend.”</p><p>Tubbo punched Tommy’s arm lightly. “You didn’t have a chance anyway idiot.”</p><p>“You don’t know that!” Tommy protested, looking offended. “Women find me <em>irresistible</em>. I’ve got loads of bitches!”</p><p>“Wow, I am <em>charmed</em>.” Silk drawled sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Tommy spluttered, his cheeks turning pink. “Uh no, no, no, no. Not that I think women are bitches! I love women. I am a women <em>stan</em>. No one respects women more than me! I’m the ultimate respecter of women!”</p><p>Silk couldn’t hold back a laugh. Tubbo and Wilbur were laughing too. Tommy huffed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  </p><p>“What do you want Ghostbur?” Tommy muttered, quickly attempting to change the subject.</p><p>“I’m on my way to see Fundy! He said he has a new book for me! I’m trying to get as many books to read as I can at the moment.” Wilbur explained joyfully.</p><p>There was a prominent pause. Tommy shifted his gaze away from Wilbur, his expression changing slightly.</p><p>“I didn’t realise Fundy was talking to you.” Silk couldn’t quite put her finger on Tommy’s tone. He sounded somehow...resentful? Or maybe it was more agitated?</p><p>Even Tubbo, previously bubbly and high-spirited, looked disconcerted, purposefully not looking at Wilbur.</p><p>“Yeah! We spoke recently! I can show you all my books too sometime if you want?” Wilbur asked hopefully</p><p>Tubbo nodded, giving Wilbur an awkward smile. “Yeah…sure Ghostbur. Maybe another time.”</p><p>“What about you Tommy?” Wilbur turned to him</p><p>Tommy looked anywhere but Wilbur. His voice lacked his previous energy, taking on a more sour tone. “Yeah, maybe. If I have literally no other things I want to do”</p><p>Wilbur nodded airily and gave an innocent smile. “Okay well, I hope you have fun with your other things! I’m going to go now, I don’t want to keep Fundy waiting.”</p><p>They murmured their goodbyes, the two boys seeming more subdued than before.</p><p>Once Wilbur has disappeared, Silk could practically feel the awkward tension in the air. She shifted uncomfortably.</p><p>“Weren’t you guys…I don’t know, a little…harsh? Maybe?” Silk sensed she had to tread carefully. but she wanted to understand the boys’ treatment of Wilbur. “He was only trying to be nice right?”</p><p>The cool disregard the boys had both shown Wilbur had made her feel disheartened. Wilbur has seemed as though he hadn’t noticed, but Silk didn’t see how this was possible given the boys’ blatant rejections.</p><p>Tubbo didn’t meet her eyes. Tommy was the one to break the silence. His voice was sharp, cutting.</p><p>“Of course, you feel that way. You’re an outsider” He sneered. “You don’t know what Wilbur did.”</p><p>There was another tense pause, then –</p><p>“You guys are being fuckin’ boring, I’m gonna go steal some shit” Tommy announced already walking away from them</p><p>“No, <em>Tommy</em>-!” Tubbo began to protest.</p><p>“Try ‘n stop me bitch!” Tommy shouted, breaking into a sprint before Tubbo could argue further.</p><p>“He’s joking.” Tubbo quickly assured her, despite looking uncertain himself. “I hope.”</p><p>Silk shook her head in amusement. “Christ, where are his parents?”</p><p>Tubbo went pointedly silent at her remark. Silk’s stomach dropped as she easily read into Tubbo’s response.</p><p>“Does he…does he <em>have</em> parents?” She asked softly.</p><p>Tubbo shook his head, staring at the ground. “Neither of us do. Not really.”</p><p>“Tommy never knew his Mum. He knows his Dad, but he’s not really…around.” Tommy continued “His Dad had to kill Tommy’s older brother in the last war. Now he’s sort of gone AWOL with Tommy’s oldest brother – who Tommy hates – so yeah they, uh, don’t have the best relationship.”</p><p>Silk enquired about Tubbo’s own parents. He shrugged. “I don’t know. I never knew them. They left me in a box on the side of the road. Tommy’s Dad took me in when I was a kid, but like I said he’s not really…”<br/>“Around.” Silk finished for him quietly.</p><p>Tommy and Tubbo.</p><p>Dream had mentioned them several times. He had painted them as the main antagonists to the Dream SMP. The ones that started and lead several of the nation’s civil wars.</p><p>What Dream had failed to mention was that they were sixteen-year-old <em>children</em>. Practically orphans as well from what Tubbo was telling her</p><p>Silk was horrified. These two sixteen-year-old boys were running a country and they didn’t even have parents? That was so…</p><p><em>Sad</em>.</p><p>Silk’s heart hurt for them. They were so <em>young</em>. They had fought wars, started a country and they didn’t even have a Mum and Dad to go home to? Someone to make them a real meal and tuck them in at night? To comfort and protect them? How long had it been like that for them? For how long had the people who were supposed to protect them left them to fend for themselves?</p><p>Tubbo cleared his throat. “Anyway I-uh, I have some Presidential things I need to go…do.”</p><p>Silk’ face creased into a frown. She reached out for Tubbo’s arm without thinking.</p><p>Tubbo blinked at her, confused.</p><p>Silk froze, before scrambling to cover her instinctive reaction to reach out to Tubbo. “Uh I-I was just going to ask where I could find Wilbur?” She stumbled over her words.</p><p>“Oh.” Tubbo nodded in understanding. He pointed in the direction of a large crane. “He lives under there.”</p><p>“Under?” Silk tilted her head.</p><p>“In the sewers” Tubbo nodded solemnly</p><p>Silk hesitated. There was something else she wanted to ask, but she wasn’t…</p><p>“Was there something else?” Tubbo titled his head.</p><p>Silk blinked at him in surprise. Tubbo maybe only be sixteen, but he seemed to be far more preceptive that she had initially given him credit for. Silk bit her lip and nodded.</p><p>“If it’s okay for me to ask,” Silk started tentatively. “What <em>did</em> Wilbur do?”</p><p>Tubbo sighed heavily, expression downcast. “Wilbur…he blew up L’Manberg.”</p><p>Silk stomach dropped.</p><p>Tubbo gestured to the water-filled cavern under the wooden docks below them. “He did <em>that</em>.”</p><p>Dream had told her about that event. He said that one of the founders of L’Manberg had snapped and blew up L’Manberg before his Father killed him.</p><p>“That was <em>Wilbur</em>?” Silk gasped.</p><p>She almost didn’t believe Tubbo. The boy she had met on the lake had seemed so…gentle. He had seemed so fragile. Vulnerable. Not in any way the type to do…<em>that</em></p><p>Another realisation dawned on Silk. “Wilbur is Tommy’s brother?”</p><p>“He was the first President.” Tubbo nodded. “He <em>was</em> a good man, but in the end…not so much.”</p><p>“He definitely did more good than bad, don’t get me wrong” Tubbo hurried to clarify. “It just a little…awkward. He’s still around, but he doesn’t seem to remember any of the bad things that he did. Because he doesn’t remember, he acts like nothing happened but the rest of us aren’t quite ready for that.”</p><p>Silk nodded absently, lost in thought. Tubbo’s explanation made sense, but her heart still ached for Wilbur’s sake.</p><p>Something she couldn’t describe was drawing her to him. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to know more about him. She wanted to be able to make her own judgement on him.</p><p>If she was being honest with herself, a deep part of her just <em>wanted</em>. What exactly she wanted? She wasn’t sure yet.</p><p>She respectfully thanked Tubbo for his time. He simply smiled in response and told her to come to him should she ever need anything.</p><p>Her heart softened. <em>What a good kid.</em></p><p>After parting ways with Tubbo, she headed in the direction of the crane.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Shimming down a pipe ladder into a sewer was not the most pleasant experience Silk had ever had. It was cold and damp and she honestly didn’t want to know what was causing that <em>smell</em> – although she could take a good guess. Dripping water echoed around the vast cavern and Silk involuntarily shivered, pulling her jacket tighter around her.</p><p>
  <em>Why would Wilbur choose to stay here?</em>
</p><p>There was an iron door to her left, a wooden sign clearly stating “Ghostbur’s House.”</p><p>Silk carefully tip-toed over the murky sewer water and peeked inside the ‘house’.</p><p>The room was small. Maybe she would have described it as quaint if not for the setting. The walls and floor were all stone. A cauldron and an anvil were resting in the corner. A small white bed was positioned in the opposite corner of the room, although Silk wasn’t convinced that sleeping was something that Wilbur did.</p><p>Her eyes were drawn to the brewing stands to her right.</p><p>A familiar excitement tugged at her chest.</p><p>Alchemy was her one of her best skills. Second only to her prowess with a bow. The brewing stands and ingredients that lined the walls made her reflect on fond memories. Nights where she stayed up until the sun rose perfecting a potion or experiment. Trying and trying again until her fingers ached, and her scribbled notes stopped making sense. Slumping over her desk, the flame of her brewing stand slowing flickering out as she succumbed to sleep. Silk smiled.</p><p>Did Wilbur share that interest?</p><p>Silk wanted to find out.</p><p>Wilbur was sat in a chair in the corner of the adjacent room. There was only the one chair in the room. Silk pointedly chose to ignore the idea that this was because Wilbur never expected to have guests.</p><p>A small fire flickered, casting light shadows across his face and warming the small room. He was reading a book, a peaceful expression on his face. Silk noted the many bookshelves that decorated the room and recalled what Wilbur said about his love for reading. The room was enclosed and welcoming, despite being situated in a sewer. Silk imagined this place was Wilbur’s refuge as well as his home.</p><p>The atmosphere Wilbur had created made Silk somewhat understand why he stayed down there.</p><p>Wilbur noticed her as Silk had that thought, and his bright smile caught her off guard.</p><p>“You came!” He sounded surprised but overjoyed.</p><p>Silk nodded, still absently surveying the room.</p><p>“You l-“ Silk caught herself before she said the word ‘<em>live’</em> “- stay down here?”</p><p>“Yeah! Do you like it?” Wilbur looked so hopeful that Silk couldn’t bring herself to voice her real thoughts about the man dwelling in a sewer.</p><p>“You’ve made it very homely.” She chose to say, giving Wilbur a small smile.</p><p>Despite there only being one chair, Wilbur was quick to situate himself on the floor and pat the spot next to him. “Come sit!”</p><p>Silk smiled and lower herself beside Wilbur, tucking her legs beneath herself.</p><p>“Do you want to see my books?” Wilbur asked, eyes wide.</p><p>“That would be lovely Wilbur” she assured him.</p><p>As Wilbur picked up a book for her, he asked “Tommy and Tubbo didn’t come with you?”</p><p>Sadness washed over Silk at Wilbur’s question and her face pulled into a frown. “No, Wilbur.” She spoke softly “They didn’t come.”</p><p>“Oh okay,” Wilbur’s airy tone suggested this didn’t bother him too much. “Maybe next time.”</p><p>“So, does…does what happened up there happen a lot?” Silk asked. Wilbur looked at her quizzically and she hesitantly elaborated for him. “When you asked Tommy and Tubbo to come see you. It sort of seemed like they were, I don’t know…avoiding it? Maybe? I-I mean I could be wrong! But that’s just how it…looked.” Silk trailed off awkwardly, shifting her gaze around the room.</p><p>“N-no, they were just busy I’m sure. Tommy’s always off doing something, and Tubbo’s the president so I’m sure he has lots of important things he needs to do.” Wilbur didn’t sound sure of himself, his airy tone shifting slightly. He averted his gaze and wrung his hand anxiously.</p><p>She just about stopped herself from reaching out to him. Instead -</p><p>“You can talk to me about it if you want to.” The words slipped out of her “I wish I had, but I didn’t know you when you were alive. So I can judge you solely on your actions now. I know this must be really difficult for you, but I-I wouldn’t mind…trying to help you. If you want. So you don’t have to be afraid of me rejecting your efforts.” Silk stumbled over her honest words, staring hard at her clasped hands in her lap. Part of her didn’t know why she was even saying them.</p><p>Wilbur stared at her for long enough that she almost tried to backtrack on what she had said. However, the look Wilbur was giving her was so tender that she instead found herself entirely unable to speak, her cheeks turning pink,</p><p>“Thank you.” Wilbur said quietly, his lips quirking up again slightly.</p><p>“I-I don’t remember much, but from what I’ve been told Alivebur wasn’t a good person. I-I mean he betrayed his friends and blew up L’Manberg. He was…he was the <em>bad guy</em>. I know people haven’t been able to fully forgive hi- <em>me</em> yet.” Although he was doing to voluntarily, Wilbur seemed distressed talking about past actions. His breathing was uneven and his fists were tightly clenched. “But I-I don’t want to be <em>him</em> anymore. I want to be someone good, someone that can make everyone happy and…and find peace…somehow.”</p><p>“So I’ve been trying to help people. I know that Alivebur blew up L’Manberg, so I helped rebuild it, a-and I’ve been keeping golden apples t-to give to Fundy. He told me he needs them to cure zombie villagers.”</p><p>Silk raised her eyebrows, her lips parting slightly in surprise. “Cure…them?” Silk didn’t mean to interrupt, but the concept piqued her interest.</p><p>Wilbur nodded. “I think if you use a potion of weakness on a zombie villager and then feed them a golden apple they go back to normal.”</p><p>Silk could practically feel the cogs rapidly turning in her head. “So…like bringing them back to life?”</p><p>“I guess so.” Wilbur nodded again. “Fundy’s a good boy. For doing that. It must be painful for them, but he’s helping to fix them.” Wilbur sounded wistful as he spoke, drawing his knees up to his chest.</p><p>“Being…being dead…everything hurts. Existence is pain, so I-I want to try and make it not hurt anymore a-and making people happy helps, I think.” Wilbur explained “There is nothing after death, there is no god. So since there is no afterlife, there's no point in being anything but kind.”</p><p>“That’s a beautiful way to look at it.” Silk’s tone was soft. Wilbur’s outlook seemed positive, but there was an underlying tone of sorrow in every word he said. “I’m so sorry this happened to you Wilbur.”</p><p>Wilbur smiled again, but it was less bright than before. “It’s okay! I don’t think there’s any point in focusing on sad things. I want to try and be as happy as possible. I only really remember happy things, so I try to focus on that”</p><p>“Do you remember what it’s like to be alive then?” Silk enquired</p><p>“I don’t really remember much. I remember it was…good” Wilbur shifted, seeming to become increasingly uncomfortable.</p><p>“What do you remember?” Silk tilted her head. She didn’t mean to push, but as well as wanting to know Wilbur, the concept of him being a ghost was entirely fascinating.</p><p>“I remember…my family. I-I wrote it all down, h-here I’ll get it for you.” Wilbur hurried to retrieve a book from the shelves, before settling back down beside Silk.</p><p>The words ‘What I Remember’ were scribbled on the front.</p><p>He slowly took her through the pages, elaborating on the things he remembered the best.</p><p>He had a soft, peaceful look on his face, finding comfortable solace in the pages of the book. He looked calmer than he had during their previous conversations. Silk wished for that expression to stay on his face.</p><p>“I remember Techno’s armoury.” Wilbur was nearing the end of the short book. “We used it for…something. I remember…I remember t-that…” Wilbur trailed off and his face morphed into something painful.</p><p>His fingers hovered over the last page. He was hesitating, eyes fixed on the empty air in front of him. He had an agonised look on his face and his hand started trembling.</p><p>Silk leant forward, concern creasing her face. “Wilbur, what is it? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I-I remember…remember that…” He gasped “<em>it was never meant to be</em>,”</p><p>The book he was holding fell from Wilbur’s hands.</p><p>Or rather, it fell <em>through</em> Wilbur’s hands.</p><p>Silk jumped as the book crashed to the floor. Wilbur seemed to be <em>flickering</em>, Silk could suddenly see the stone floor through his body. Tears were falling from Wilbur’s face and he did not even seem to register that Silk was still beside him, his gaze fixated somewhere in the distance.</p><p>Silk automatically reached out to him, bringing her hands up to cup Wilbur’s face.</p><p>Silk blood turned to ice in her veins.</p><p>She could barely feel him. It felt like she was trying to hold a gust of wind.</p><p>Her heart began to race from panic.</p><p>“<em>Wilbur</em>!” She shouted desperately. “Look at me!”</p><p>Distressed brown eyes met hers.</p><p>“Wilbur just focus on me okay?” Silk tried to keep her voice low despite her panic. “I’m right here. There’s just me and you here. You don’t need to think about anything else. Just me and you, okay?”</p><p>Silk continued to whisper comforting words to Wilbur until his eyes softened and she <em>felt</em> Wilbur become more solid underneath her touch. All of a sudden her hands were wet with Wilbur’s tears and she could feel his skin beneath her hands.</p><p>She stroked a thumb across his cheekbone.</p><p>“You’re okay Wilbur.” Silk murmured. “You’re okay. You’re still here.”</p><p>Wilbur nodded hazily as Silk carefully wiped the tears from his face. Her touch was tender, all her focus being on the man in front of her. Brown eyes stared into her own.</p><p>It felt like the whole world had been shrunk down to this one focal point. All of Wilbur’s attention was on her, his previous distress gone from his eyes. She felt a gentle touch on her hand, as Wilbur covered it with his own. His touch somehow felt distinctly firmer than it had the previous night.</p><p>As she looked into his eyes, Silk found it hard to believe that Wilbur was dead. There was nothing dead about his eyes or about the way he was looking at her. There was certainly nothing dead about how fast her heart was beating. The sewer was still damp and cold, but Silk’s body felt burning warm.</p><p>Wilbur squeezed her hand and Silk…felt it. It was a light pressure, feeling more like a tap than a squeeze but she <em>felt</em> it. Silk’s breath caught in her throat and she instinctively leaned closer. It felt like a whisper of <em>something</em> was lacing, curling around her body, dancing across her skin, gently pulling them together. Silk couldn’t help but feel like – in that moment at least – they were connected by more than just where their hands were touching.</p><p>Wilbur gave her a comforting smile. Silk felt something pull at her chest and an unfamiliar warmth filled her.</p><p>The pair remained together like that until Silk legs began to ache slightly and the fire had flickered out to just an ember.</p><p>Silk shivered.</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes widened.</p><p>“You’re cold?” Wilbur’s whisper sounded like a shout, shattering the soft silence they had lapsed into. Silk nodded, finally glancing away from his eyes.</p><p>Wilbur raised his arms, stretching towards her as if he was going to –</p><p>“Can I hug you?” Wilbur asked. “I mean, that’s something that people – that’s something that helps when people are cold, right?”</p><p>Silk cleared her throat. Her voice felt lost after their long silence. “Uh no I don’t think…I think that’s because of body heat.” <em>Which is something you don’t have. </em>Silk stopped short of completing the sentence.</p><p>Wilbur shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear his head. “Oh.” He nodded softly. “Yeah, that’s right. You’re right.”</p><p>Silk looked at him curiously.</p><p>It was almost like for a moment Wilbur had forgotten that he was…</p><p>“You should go.” Silked stomach dropped at Wilbur’s words</p><p>“If you’re cold it wont be good for you to stay down here.” Wilbur clarified and Silk tried to ignore the wave of instant relief that washed over her. She nodded in agreement, albeit reluctantly.</p><p>“I can…I-I mean would it be okay…” Silk felt inexplicably hesitant. Wilbur stared at her inquisitively and Silk’s words caught in her throat. She looked away from Wilbur’s gaze. Her heart was hammering, and she realised that she felt anxious. Anxious? About what? That was…the idea was ridiculous, absurd, almost -</p><p><em>Anxious that he might say no</em>, the words were whispered in her mind, twisting across it in a cruel dance. Silk sucked in a sharp breath and shook her head, as though trying to dispel the thought. She stopped short of giving herself a hard hit, remembering she has company.</p><p><em>Stupid. </em>Stupid<em>. Don’t be stupid. Who are you?</em></p><p>Silk sucked in another breath and looked directly at Wilbur, almost aggressive in her resolve.</p><p>“Can I come back?” Silk blurted out, balling her hands into fists. She almost held her breath but forced herself to breathe out. Reminding herself that she was being <em>stupid</em>.</p><p>Wilbur looked taken aback by her tone, but soon mellowed out giving her a soft nod and a smile.</p><p>“Sure. Anytime.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Even if its constructive criticism dont be afraid to let me know what you think! The positive response to the first chapter really motivated me to get this one out ASAP!</p><p>I incorporated my headcanon that Wilbur’s anchor to the tangible world fluctuates depending on his mental state at the end there.</p><p>There are some scenes later on in the story that I’ve already written that I am sooo excited to post so I’m trying to bang out all the preceding chapters as quick as I can (without rushing them) to get to that part of the story.<br/>The main plot has been hinted at already but if all goes according to plan it will properly start around chapter 4/5.</p><p>Just an FYI, this story is set just before Tommy’s exile and will include Tommy’s exile however it wont follow the actual Dream SMP plot too closely as the real thing moves so quickly it would be impossible to keep up with writing-wise!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Thank You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter I really do appreciate it especially the comments!</p><p>Guys I was so weirdly unmotivated to write this chapter I sort of speedran it lol. Sorry if its not as good as the first two, I just really wanted to get it out since it had been over a week since chapter two. </p><p>We have a bit of relationship building with Tommy in this chapter whoop whoop!</p><p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I got this for you!”</p><p>It was now five days since Silk’s arrival at the nation of the Dream SMP.</p><p>It was early in the morning and Wilbur ran over to her almost as soon as she had emerged from her hut. His brown eyes were sparkling and he had a contagious smile on his face. He had begun to float in his excitement, his feet not quite touching the ground.</p><p>It wasn’t a bad sight to be greeted with first thing in the morning.</p><p>Wilbur excitedly thrust an iron pickaxe into her hands. The silver metal glowed a soft purple, signifying an enchantment. Silk ran a light finger across the cool steel, the magic shine winking back at her in the sunlight.</p><p>Wilbur gave her a beaming smile. “It’s <em>silk</em> touch!”</p><p>Silk’s mouth fell open slightly. She felt a strange warmth rush through her body and her heart stuttered in her chest. A small laugh escaped her involuntarily and she realised she had a wonky smile on her face.</p><p>“Thank you, Wilbur.” She said sincerely, placing the pickaxe on the floor so it leant against her legs. “It’s wonderful.”<br/>
Wilbur smiled again at her praise, before letting out a small sound and rummaging through his pockets. He gently placed a transparent blob of <em>something</em> in her hand.</p><p>She cupped the blob in her hand. It was soft and sort of jiggly. She wiggled it in her hands. It rippled like water.</p><p>Maybe it was supposed to be a token of sorts?</p><p>She raised an eyebrow at Wilbur. “Thank…you?”</p><p>Wilbur was looking at her with wonder. “It’s Blue! Well… it's <em>not</em>. That’s…”</p><p>“Blue?” Silk tilted her head questioningly. The blob in her hands was not blue. It was devoid of any colour in fact. She could even see the lines on her palms clearly through it.</p><p>“I call it Blue! When you hold it, it sucks all your sadness out and that makes it turn blue! But yours is still clear! Which means you must not be sad.” Wilbur’s radiant smile was back “Good for you!”</p><p>His words were said with sincerity. Wilbur looked genuinely please at Silk’s evident lack of sadness.</p><p>Silk smiled at Wilbur again, glancing between the odd blob and the pickaxe leaning against her legs. They were wonderful, thoughtful gifts and they made her heart want to burst.</p><p>Wilbur looked pleased with himself, smiling and gazing at her with hopeful eyes. Silk knew she wasn’t the only one that Wilbur had given gifts to. He seemed to be constantly thinking of things for others, desperately eager to please.</p><p>A thought occurred to Silk.</p><p>“Wilbur, when was…” Silk hesitated, unsure if the answer would upset Wilbur. “When was the last time someone gave you something? Like a present?”</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes widened at her question and he looked thoughtful, as if the idea of someone giving him something hadn’t crossed his mind before. He didn’t seem to be upset by the question, his brown eyes holding the same innocent look as always.</p><p>“Fundy gave me a book!” Wilbur said after a while, looking happy with his answer.</p><p>Silk pressed her lips together and nodded.</p><p>She chose not to explain to Wilbur that that didn’t really count. That a present was typically something someone made or bought with you in mind. That it wasn’t something that someone gave to you just because they had it laying around and had no further use for it.</p><p>Silk felt a pang in her chest, and her mouth involuntarily twisted into a frown. Wilbur was dedicating a significant portion of his time to others and received nothing in return. Although he seemed happy with this arrangement it didn’t sit right with Silk. It was like Wilbur didn’t anticipate kindness from others. Rather than considering it to be basic decency, Wilbur seemed to consider other’s kindness towards him as something…unexpected.</p><p>“Is there nothing you want Wilbur?” Silk asked.</p><p>Wilbur looked surprised again. Like the concept of wanting something for himself was unfamiliar to him. Wilbur shook his head slowly. “I want people to be happy!”</p><p>Silk sighed and nodded in resignation.</p><p>“I want more books, I guess?” Wilbur continued. “But mostly for people to be happy!”<br/>
Silk nodded again, but pressed her lips together as an idea began to form in her head.</p><p>Wilbur rocked back on the heels of his feet, hands clasped behind his back. “Well, I have to go now. There are some things I want to show Tubbo! It was lovely to talk to you Silk, lets talk again really soon!</p><p>“Yeah, really soon.” Silk echoed softly.</p><p>As Wilbur floated away, Silk felt a brief stab of disappointment in her chest. However, it dissipated even quicker than it came.</p><p>She sighed and turned back towards her hut. She slung the pickaxe over her shoulder and glanced down at the soft blob in her hand. She paused.</p><p>It was blue.</p><p>Silk smiled.</p><p> </p><p>Silk huffed as she stared at the empty plot of land in front of her. It was a few days since she had her idea and she was exhausted.</p><p>Dream had told her she could build whatever wherever she pleased, but nothing came free. She had spent multiple sleepless night gathering materials. Diving for clay in the ocean had left her long hair in disarray. It felt crispy and had barely been agreeable enough to form the loose plait Silk had wrested it into. Her right arm ached from hours of mining stone and chopping wood, and her legs felt weak from the miles and miles she had travelled on foot.</p><p>Now she had all the material she could actually <em>start</em> building.</p><p>Silk sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. <em>Maybe I should have built myself a house first. </em></p><p>Even so, she felt excited about her project and she was sure that <em>his</em> reaction would make it worth it.</p><p>She proceeded to work for hours. Building the foundation, the floors and starting on the walls. She worked until the sun began to set and her hands aches from crafting.</p><p>Maybe it was her fatigue that caused her not to notice another presence in her proximity.</p><p>“Silk!”</p><p>She nearly jumped out her skin. She clasped a hand over her racing heart and turned towards the voice</p><p>“How are you finding things so far?” Dream took a seat on one of the unfinished walls.</p><p>Silk glanced over at him, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, and wiping the sweat from her forehead.</p><p>“It’s okay.” She shrugged</p><p>“Is this where you’re intending to live?” Dream gestured to her half-finished build.</p><p>“No, this isn’t going to be my house.” Silk corrected him without thinking.</p><p>Dream paused and raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. “What is it then?”</p><p>Silk hesitated, glancing away from Dream. “It’s…a gift.”</p><p>Dream hummed inquisitively but did not press further. He leant his head on his hand and gestured for her to continue working. Silk tentatively continued, feeling a tension in her muscles that had nothing to do with her hours of hard labour.</p><p>Something about Dream set her on edge. She didn’t know how to describe it. She imagined it was just an instinct. Maybe a deeper part of her was simply acknowledging the natural threat of someone with too much power.</p><p>Dream’s gaze pierced through the back of her head like a dagger and the urge to fill the growing silence clawed her. Why the fuck was he just <em>watching</em> her?</p><p>There was something that had been bothering her. She was never one for small talk. The words tickled at her throat like a cough and she felt them bubbling out of her before she could stop it.</p><p>“So, you fight children in this country?” She hadn’t bothered to mask the disgust in her tone.</p><p>Dream looked unbothered by her enquiry.</p><p>“If those children choose to put up a fight, then yes” Dream shrugged.</p><p>“They’re <em>children</em>.” Silk gestured generally to L’Manberg</p><p>“Those children have attempted <em>multiple</em> hostile takeovers.” Dream argued “If I let them do whatever they please simply because they’re children, then this place would fall to ruin. It’s <em>because</em> they’re children that I can’t let them do that.”</p><p>“I’m sure that, in whatever versions of events they’ve told you, I’m made out to be the villain” Dream raised an eyebrow. “But let me make something clear - no one made Tommy a child soldier. He chose to <em>become</em> one”</p><p>What Dream was saying made sense. She supposed a normal person would be satisfied with his reasonable answer.</p><p>However, some base instinct inside her screamed at her not to trust Dream. His presence made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her body tense. When he spoke Dream tried to put on an air of harmless enquiry. He spoke in such a casual way that Silk imagined most people would not think twice about his words. But she could sense something beneath that. Something about Dream felt distinctly threatening to her.</p><p>“Tommy is a child” Silk couldn’t resist arguing further. <em>Surely</em> there had been other options available to Dream other than going to war with a child. <br/>
“Tommy is a <em>problem</em>.” Dream’s tone was final. The vaguely threatening aura that Dream radiated seeped through his words, becoming something more tangible. Silk had to clench her fists to stop herself from instinctively reaching for her bow.</p><p>Dream stood up and dusted off his pants. “I’ll come back and check on you in the next few days.”</p><p>Dream’s promise to check in on her did not provide her with the comfort that was likely intended. She was surely supposed to take the statement as Dream holding concern for how his newest citizen was settling in.</p><p>Instead, Silk felt that Dreams intentions for checking in on her were to ensure she was <em>behaving</em>.</p><p>Silk huffed out a breath but did not say anything. She may have an instinctive dislike for Dream, but that same instinct told her to hold her tongue.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>A day and a half later Silk was able to sigh with a smile on her face. Her everything ached, but she was <em>finished</em>.</p><p>The house was built from bricks, stone, and dark wood. It had a rustic feel to it, the corners being made from log pillars and each of the walls being made almost entirely of glass. The hallway was small, mostly just there for the effect. It curved right, leading to a large open plan room. Bookshelves lined the walls floor to ceiling. There were several chairs and tables scattered across the room, resting atop a red carpet that covered the centre of the dark wood. A fire crackled and flickered in the large brick fireplace and lanterns hung from the ceiling lighting up areas that the firelight did not reach.</p><p>A satisfied smile grew on Silk’s face and she clasped her hands together.</p><p>Now she just needed to find Wilbur and tell him…</p><p>
  <em>Tell him that…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I…I built him a library </em>
</p><p>Silk paused.</p><p>
  <em>That’s…</em>
</p><p><em>So </em>weird<em>.</em></p><p>Silk felt panic grip her.</p><p>
  <em>I built him a library. Why did I do that? Oh god. Who builds someone they barely know a fucking library? What the fuck. He’s going to think I’m a complete psycho. </em>
</p><p>Although the logical part of her brain knew that Wilbur would never think that of her – he was far too kind - the <em>stupid</em> part of her brain would not be convinced.</p><p>She dragged a rough hand through her hair and bit harshly on her lip.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god.</em>
</p><p>“Hi Silk!” A cheerful voice sound from behind her</p><p>Silk felt lucky that she didn’t pass away from fright right there. She knew she had been alone and she hadn’t heard a <em>thing</em>. She clutched at her racing heart and whirled around to see where – or rather <em>who</em> – the voice had come from.</p><p>Wilbur was standing behind her, fiddling with the sleeves of his yellow jump and smiling at her softly.</p><p>The sight did nothing to calm Silk’s racing heart.</p><p>Wilbur did a <strike>cute</strike> small hop and began floating around the room.</p><p>He looked around the room with wonder, his face lighting up. He dragged his fingers across the bookshelves and curiously looked through the chests and under the tables.</p><p>The look on Wilbur’s face made her heart feel like it was free-falling. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks and she felt strangely…breathless. It was an unfamiliar feeling to her. She had never felt like this before.</p><p>It made her nervous.</p><p>She was never sure how her body was going to react to Wilbur’s actions. It made her feel out of control and…</p><p><em>Giddy</em>.</p><p>She registered that a stupid grin was on her face and her gaze was tender. How she was feeling scared her in its unfamiliarity, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It was a feeling that brought a smile to her lips and warmth to her face. It was <em>nice</em>.</p><p>Contrary to her racing heart, Silk felt a sense of calm. The room wasn’t heated, and yet she felt feeling in her chest similar to being wrapped up in bed on a rainy day. Soothing. Secure. Warm.</p><p>Maybe this feeling was what was drawing her to Wilbur.</p><p>This sense of peace and security was unfamiliar to her, and she was left desperately chasing after it.</p><p>Once Wilbur was done inspecting the room he floated over to Silk, his feet touching the ground once again.</p><p>“This is lovely!” Wilbur beamed. “Is it your house?”</p><p>Silk shook her head. Her nerves were far more prominent than before and she swallowed hard, praying that she wouldn’t stutter too much when she spoke.</p><p>“It’s a-uh a library.” Silk felt her cheeks burning and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Wilbur. “Its uh…it’s for <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“I mean I-uh built it for you. I know you really like reading and you have your little room in the sewers, but I just thought that you should be up here with m-, up here with <em>us</em> instead. It cant be very nice down there so uh yeah, um…<em>library</em>.” Silk gestured to the room awkwardly, wishing she could just dig a hole and bury herself right there.</p><p>Silk winced at her own awkward explanation and cracked a glance at Wilbur.</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes were wide, but not in their usual way. He looked concerned. His lip quivered and his eyes darted around the room rapidly in an almost panicked fashion.</p><p>“I-I…I don’t…f-for <em>me</em>? Are you sure you don’t want someone else to have it?” Wilbur asked anxiously. He was fiddling with a thread on his jumper and brown eyes looked up at Silk beneath dark lashes. “I don’t deser- I mean I don’t think…w-why would this be for me?”</p><p>Silk gently grabbed his hand, stopping his anxious fidgeting. She brushed a calming thumb across his knuckles and placed her other hand softly on his cheek. “Wilbur, it's okay.” She assured him quietly, holding his gaze. “I built this for you, I don’t want anyone else to have it. It’s all yours.”</p><p>Wilbur visibly calmed down, his lips falling open slightly as Silk’s thumb grazed across his cheek in a soothing manner. Wilbur gave a tiny nod, his gaze once again scanning the room and a flicker of his previous wonder returning to his eyes.</p><p>Wilbur glanced between Silk and the room. He seemed to be thinking about something, his brow furrowing in concentration.</p><p>“Would…” Wilbur’s voice was timid. He hesitated, shifting his gaze to the floor and biting on his lip gently. He was playing with the threads of his jumper again.</p><p>“Would…you stay here too? Please?” Wilbur looked at her meekly. His brown eyes looked less absent than they usually did. He looked somewhat…flustered. “If it's just me here then no one…no one would be living in it and that seems like a waste”</p><p>Silk was stunned by his question. She felt like someone had completely wiped her mind and replaced it will a blank screen. She wasn’t even confident she could have formed a coherent sentence at that moment, left alone a response. She felt blood rush to her cheeks so fast that she was surprised she didn’t become lightheaded. She desperately suppressed the unintelligible noise of – shock? Panic? <em>Excitement</em>? – that was scratching to escape her throat. She swallowed hard. She blinked dumbly at Wilbur, still processing his request.</p><p>
  <em>Stay…here? In the same house? </em>
</p><p>A small part of her was screaming that everything was moving too fast. That it was not right to feel this <em>much</em> this soon. That she was flying to the close sun and she would get burnt.</p><p>The larger part of her – <em>the part that built this boy a goddamn library</em> – told that small part of her brain to shut up.</p><p>So what if she got burnt?</p><p>He made her feel like she was burning. Like there was a twisting flickering flame in her soul spreading warmth and light to every fibre of her being. There was a constant lump in her throat and vice around her racing heart when he was around. He made her fingers tingle with the urge to reach out to him. Like there was a string wrapped around her fingertips, pulling her towards him.</p><p>She wasn’t stupid. She should have felt more scared of the intensity of her feelings. She was not the type of person to get swept away by these sorts of feelings. But something instinctively told her that this was <em>right</em>.</p><p>That’s why Silk gave Wilbur a weak nod.</p><p>“S-sure, sure thing Wilbur. I mean I’ll have to create a few more rooms which may take a day or two, but that would be…” Silk let out a shaky breath to calm herself and a gentle smile appeared on her face. “That would be lovely.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It was late at night. The moon hung high in the sky and the only sound was that of the cascading rain.</p><p>The cutting <em>icy</em> rain that had drenched her clothes and plastered her hair to her face.</p><p>Silk hissed as she ran in the direction of the library, her feet splashing in the puddles beneath them.</p><p>She had once again decided to pull an all-nighter to complete the extension to the library. She had just come back from the desert, the supplies she had acquired jostling under her arm as she ran.</p><p>She cursed as water filled her shoes and trickled down her back, trailing a ghostly touch down her spine. She slowed down to a walk, huffing out a breath and leaning her hands on her knees. She was already soaked to the bone. Running couldn’t save her now.</p><p>She took a deep breath, the night air cooling her burning lungs. She glanced at her surroundings, the rain masking her vision somewhat.</p><p>She automatically tensed when her eyes fell on a bench that was slightly obscured by a large bush.</p><p>She could vaguely see a hunched over figure behind the bush. They were sat on the grass of the hill in front of the oak bench rather <em>on</em> it. Silks muscles tensed as she intuitively sensed something was wrong. She approached carefully, significantly more light-footed than previously. She gingerly peered around the bush. She tilted her head in confusion. Her shoulders straightened up and she stepped confidently into the open when she realised who the figure was.</p><p>“<em>Tommy</em>?” She called out</p><p>His wet hair stuck to his forehead and heavy rain poured down his cheeks. He was looking at her with a stunned expression on his face, blue eyes wide. His whole face was wet due to the rain so it was hard to tell, but looking at Tommy’s eyes Silk thought Tommy might have been…</p><p>Tommy sniffed and wiped at his eyes hastily. “What?”</p><p>Silk hastily placed her items on the ground and approached Tommy. “Are you okay?”<br/>
Tommy snapped at her that he was fine but, contrary to this, he drew his knees up to his chest and curled into himself protectively.</p><p>The wind and the rain were cold, cutting into her skin and raising goosebumps. Silk lowered herself on the soaking grass next to Tommy, concern creasing her features. Tommy was shivering, staring sullenly into the distance as water dripped off the tip of his nose. Silk couldn’t imagine any good reason that he would sit outside in this weather. Tommy’s demeanour somehow reminded her of a wild animal. Like he would run away if she approached him too quickly. The tension in his shoulders screamed that he was agitated. His knuckles were white from how tightly he was clasping his hands.</p><p>A shiver racked Silk’s body as the cold cut through her thin clothes.</p><p>She probably should have left. Tommy’s body langue was crying ‘<em>leave me alone’</em> and he was barely acknowledging her presence. Besides, staying in the rain for so long would surely make her sick.</p><p>But still…</p><p>Tommy looked so small.</p><p>Curling in on himself, alone in the rain. He looked every bit the child he was. He must have been freezing and yet he stubbornly chose to sit there, suffering through it.</p><p>Silk wanted to know why.</p><p>“I had a nightmare,” Tommy spoke quietly as if he had read Silks’ thoughts.</p><p>He didn’t elaborate further, and Silk chose not to push just yet. She made a soft noise of acknowledgement and drew her eyes away from Tommy.</p><p>The view from the hill was pleasant. She imagined this would be a good spot to watch the sunset. You could see a lot of L’Manberg, the light glowing softly in the darkness. Despite the cold of the rain, it was peaceful. Secluded. Silk supposed if she hadn't had been out so late then Tommy would have been able to be totally alone for a while.</p><p>Somehow the thought made her chest hurt.</p><p>They sat in comfortable silence, a good distance apart. Silk didn’t dare to move closer. She had a feeling that if she did Tommy would scatter.</p><p>The rain had let up slightly, reducing to a gentle shower. The water droplets pattering on the grass created a gentle background noise, smoothing her senses. Silk loved how it smelt when it rained. It was a comforting scent, fresh and soft.</p><p>Silk wondered if Tommy thought so too.</p><p>Maybe that’s why he was out here.</p><p>“Do you have nightmare’s often?”</p><p>Tommy balled his hands into fists and he rested his chin on his drawn-up knees. He still wouldn’t look at Silk. He barely nodded at Silk’s question, the movement being so tiny that Silk could have easily missed it.</p><p>Tommy’s white shirt was soaked through, clinging to his form. Silk could see the ridges of his spine on the curve of his back. She noticed how the material clung to his slender arms. Tommy was usually skinny. Silk was painfully reminded of Tommy’s lack of a parental figure. She doubted that Tommy had anyone in his life to remind him to do something as basic as eat properly.</p><p>Silk fingers longed to reach out to him.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Silk enquired. Clasping her hands together as if that would curb her instinct to reach out</p><p>Tommy shook his head, wiping at his face again. “Nothing to talk about.”</p><p>The pair lapsed into a comfortable silence again. Silk thought that maybe they should have talked more. Or maybe she should have left Tommy be. He clearly didn’t want to talk. Silk was basically a stranger to him. No reasonable person – a child or not – would just start spilling their secrets to a stranger.</p><p>Still, something told her to stay.</p><p>Something in her couldn’t bare the idea of getting up and leaving Tommy alone again. Her chest ached when she thought about how much time Tommy had spent alone up until now. Leaving him like this would feel akin to ignoring an abandoned puppy at the side of the road.</p><p>Cruel.</p><p>The rain had stopped now, barely a drizzle still falling from the sky.</p><p>Tommy was still sitting, shivering, letting the residual water drip from his face. He must have felt uncomfortable but made no motion to move as if relishing in his own discomfort. Maybe it was giving him something to focus on. Distracting him from something worse.</p><p>Silk tentatively crawled closer to Tommy, stopping to sit back on her heels in front of him when she was close enough.</p><p>Tommy didn’t say anything when she reached into her bag and pulled out a cloth. He didn’t make a sound when she gently cupped his cheek and carefully wiped all the water from his face. He didn’t even protest when she wrapped her spare coat tightly around his shoulders, the fleecy material tickling his cheek. Tommy looked subdued through the whole process. He didn’t look at Silk once, instead, he stared into the middle distance, passively allowing Silk to take care of him. Tommy’s cheek was burning warm under her icy fingertips. Despite this, she felt him instinctively lean into her touch. Silk felt a pang in her chest.</p><p>When was the last time he felt a caring touch, rather than a violent one?</p><p>Silk smoothed a gentle hand over his wet hair. She chuckled lightly when it then stuck up in all different directions and she smoothed it back down.</p><p>Tommy finally gave her a small smile.</p><p>He still didn’t speak even as Silk helped him up, as if speaking would have forced him to acknowledge this moment of vulnerability. Instead, he gave Silk a brief nod, pulling the coat tighter around his neck and turning back towards his house.</p><p>Tommy may have murmured a ‘thank you’, but the small sound was swept away with the wind and Silk didn’t feel the need to have him repeat himself.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Silk had just finished the alterations to the library.</p><p>It now contained a small kitchen and bathroom, along with a well-equipped brewing room and two bedrooms.</p><p>When Wilbur asked why she had built <em>two</em> bedrooms – he had previously insisted he did not require one – Silk simple smiled softly and held a finger to her lips.</p><p>She had a semblance of a plan for the second bedroom but didn’t want to get Wilbur’s hopes up.</p><p>She had her dinner simmering on the stove, and she was just about to collapse into a chair she heard a knock at the door.</p><p>Silk let out a withering sigh – she desperately needed a rest – but dutifully trailed to her dark wood door.</p><p>She raised an eyebrow in surprise at the sight that greeted her.</p><p>Tommy stood at the door awkwardly shuffling his feet.</p><p>He thrust a coat at her aggressively – <em>her</em> coat – and huffed.</p><p>Silk took it gently from his hands and stood back from the doorway, gesturing for Tommy to enter.</p><p>When Tommy hesitated, Silk sighed softly and arched an eyebrow. “Tommy. It’s cold. Come in.”</p><p>Tommy entered, his head swivelling around the room. He placed his things down in the entryway and made a beeline for the open-plan library.</p><p>“That’s a lot of books,” Tommy commented awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck.</p><p>Silk noted that he seemed to entirely lack the boisterous personality that he had displayed upon their first meeting. Silk concluded this must be due to nerves but frowned at the concept that she made the younger boy nervous.</p><p>“This was originally a library for Wilbur, but I’ve decided to live here as well now.” Silk explained. She gestured to the largest table in the room and ask Tommy to take a seat</p><p>Tommy looked uncharacteristically small sitting at the table. His shoulders were hunched and his usually animated demeanour was hushed.</p><p>The pots and pans Silk was fussing with clinked in the silence and the firelight danced across the walls.</p><p>“You hungry?” Silk asked</p><p>Tommy seemed surprised at being addressed. He tentatively nodded.</p><p>“I’m just about to eat. I’ll fix you a plate.” Silk had made enough for two, intending to store the extras for later, but she had no issue with giving this to Tommy instead.</p><p>After placing the hot meal in front of Tommy, Silk watched over her glass as Tommy wolfed it down. She felt her brow crease slightly into a frown. She was easily able to infer that Tommy hadn’t eaten a proper meal like this in a long time.</p><p>The heat from the meal brought a slight healthy flush to Tommy’s face, but his eyes still looked unnaturally sunken, dark circles draping under them.</p><p>“Are you okay Tommy?” She asked. “I mean, are you well? You look…”</p><p>Silk trailed off and gestured limply to Tommy’s face.</p><p>“I’m tired,” Tommy muttered. “I…I haven’t been sleeping well.”</p><p>Silk thought back to Tommy’s figure sitting in the pouring rain. She wondered how many times Tommy had done that exact thing uninterrupted after a nightmare. Was that how he normally coped with bad dreams? That had been around 3 am. How little sleep was he getting?</p><p>Tommy filled his days with friends and adventures, but once the day was over he went back to his house, alone with his thoughts. There was no one else there to talk to, to look after him, Tommy would have no sense of security.</p><p>How could he sleep through the night if he was constantly on edge?</p><p>“You should stay with us.” The words fell from her lips before she could stop them.</p><p>Tommy looked at her, his expression midway between panic and confusion. Silk herself was surprised at her own words. It’s not like she hadn't planned to make the offer, but she had intended to present in a less abrupt way.</p><p>Tommy stared at her and looked like he was about to protest profusely, but Silk cut him off</p><p>
  <em>You’ve said it now. No point in backtracking now.</em>
</p><p>“When was the last time you slept in a real bed?” Silk questioned, placing a hand on her hip. “Actually, let me rephrase that – when was the last time you <em>slept</em>?”</p><p>Tommy averted his gaze, looking uncharacteristically uneasy.</p><p>“Tommy I know you’ve been through a lot. You’ve been left alone, you’ve fought in wars, you even started a new <em>country</em>. But at the end of the day, you are still a 16-year-old <em>child</em>. You need to have a decent meal and a proper bed, at least once a week. At <em>least</em>.” Silk told him sternly</p><p>“You’re not my mum” Tommy muttered.</p><p>“I know.” Silk told him “But you don’t have a mum Tommy. You’ve just been left to fend for yourself this whole time. It shows.”</p><p>“You’re not a baby Tommy, I know that. You’ve been through more shit than the average adult.” Silk assured him. “But that doesn’t mean you <em>are</em> an adult. It’s obvious you don’t take care of yourself properly. If you carry on like that it will have long term effects.”</p><p>Tommy still looked hesitant. Silk had the thought that maybe Tommy wasn’t sure how to respond to kindness either.</p><p>Silk sighed. Maybe she had approached the idea a bit too aggressively. Tommy was likely feeling overwhelmed.</p><p>“You don’t have to say yes.” Silk told him, softening her tone. “I don’t mean to overwhelm you. I just…find your situation concerning. I realise you don’t know me that well so this probably all seems very…weird to you.”</p><p>“But you’re welcome here anytime Tommy.” Silk assured him. “I don’t have to be home for you to come in. You’ll always have a bed here.”</p><p>Tommy nodded but didn’t say anything. Silk half expected him to hurry out the door.</p><p>However, Tommy stay put.</p><p>Silk tidied up the remnants of their meal, deciding to keep her distance from Tommy and give him some space.</p><p>Silk bit back her instinctive response to try and fill the stretching silence as she washed up. The last thing she wanted to do right now was push Tommy.</p><p>After a long period of time, Tommy’s voice interrupted the silence, his quiet voice sounding like a shout.</p><p>“Can…can I stay tonight? N-not necessarily all the time, but maybe…just tonight?”</p><p>Silk smiled at him, a warm glow filling her chest. She leaned on the counter as Tommy fidgeted this his hands, a hopeful look on his face.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>The bedroom – <em>Tommy’s</em> bedroom – was small and non-descript. Silk didn’t know Tommy well enough to assume his tastes, so she left the room rather plain, opting to let Tommy decide how he wished to decorate it.</p><p>Despite its simplicity, Tommy looked pleased with it. A small smile quirked at his lips that he seemed to be struggling to suppress. He didn’t hesitate in entering the room and emptying his things into the bedside chest. He raced around the room, inspecting every nook and cranny.</p><p>“Is it okay?” Silk leaned against the door frame, an amused smile playing on her lips</p><p>“I’m gonna call it my fuckin’ man-cave!” Tommy grinned, making a noise of happiness. “Oooh I’m gonna get so many girls.”</p><p>Silk felt disorientated by Tommy’s immediate change in demeanour but let out a small laugh. She was honestly confused, unable to keep up with Tommy’s mood changes or how he drew the conclusion that having his own room in <em>someone else’s</em> house would get him girls.</p><p>But she was happy all the same.</p><p>Maybe having some decent food had put some pep back into his step. He was standing up straighter now, looking every inch of his 6”3 stature. Gone was the apprehensive boy that has been sitting at her table. He had a smile on his face and was hurrying to decorate the bare room with his belongings.</p><p>“So this room is all mine?” Tommy questioned eagerly.</p><p>Silk nodded. “All yours Tommy.”</p><p>Tommy hopped on to the bed, stretching his long legs down the length of it. He sighed with a grin, resting his hands behind his head. “<em>Awesome</em>.”</p><p>Silk shook her head with a smile. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”</p><p>“Let me know if you need anything.” Silk spoke quietly, pulling the door to.</p><p>There was a pause as she exited the room. Then, ever so quietly –</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Silk smiled.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy’s room was empty when Silk arose the next morning.</p><p>However, no questions were asked when the younger boy was at her doorstep again the same evening.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism dont be afraid to let me know what you think! The positive response so far has made me so happy :)</p><p>We're going to get a bit more of the plot at the end of the next chapter. I'm really excited to actually get into that part of the story but I'm trying really hard not to make the first part of the story / her relationship with Wilbur and Tommy feel too rushed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Falling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really did not like the last chapter lol so please consider this my redemption arc.</p><p>I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I am really excited for it. I even sat down on Christmas day with a bottle of wine to work on it lol. I really hope everyone enjoys! Please let me know what you think!</p><p>One again thank you so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter. The comments really do mean the world!</p><p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the passing weeks, Silk had grown accustomed to life with Tommy and Wilbur.</p><p>She spent most of her evenings with Wilbur. They would either sit reading in the library in peaceful silence or stay up until the early hours of the morning in the alchemy room brewing and experimenting with potions.</p><p>Things were simple when she was with Wilbur. She felt a deep-rooted sense of peace. Wilbur also seemed happier. His airy demeanour remained, but it seemed to have morphed into genuine happiness, rather than just being oblivious to sadness.</p><p>Coming home to see Wilbur curled up with a book on one of the chairs and a smile on his face filled her with a warmth that had nothing to do with the fireplace.</p><p>Tommy had also come to consider her house his home. Most of his belongings had come to reside there, his bedroom became his permanent residence and he came and went as he pleased. Silk had taken on somewhat of a parental role to the younger boy. She would stitch his clothes back together when he got into fights, they bickered about him eating his vegetables and maybe sometimes he would <em>occasionally</em> bring her flowers or similar trinkets he had found on his adventures (but of course Tommy vehemently denied any thought went into these gifts). She cooked him meals in the evening, yelled at him when he tracked mud through the house and sat up with him through the night when he had nightmares.</p><p>The latter is the exact situation she found herself in now.</p><p>It was somewhere around 4am and she was sitting cross-legged on Tommy’s bedroom floor. Her head was resting on the side of his bed and she was blinking at Tommy sleepily. Tommy himself was sitting opposite her, waving his hands around in an animated fashion as he told her a story about one of his many adventures.</p><p>He had tiptoed into her room half an hour earlier, shaking her awake and looking at the floor guiltily when she cracked an eye open. She had sighed, rising from her bed and ruffling Tommy’s hair gently. “Okay. Let’s go bud.”</p><p>Sometimes Tommy wanted Silk to sit with him until he fell asleep. Other times he just wanted to talk about something else until he was sufficiently distracted from his nightmare. Only very occasionally would he actually talk about his nightmares.</p><p>Tommy was slowly becoming more forthcoming about the topics of his nightmares. He never went into detail, but he had told her that he had regular nightmares about the wars he had fought in. More specifically about all the times he had almost died. He had inescapable dreams where he died over and over again in different ways.</p><p>Silk had felt a familiar burn behind her eyes on the night that Tommy had told her that.</p><p>Silk tuned back into Tommy’s story when she realised he had interrupted himself with a large yawn, stopping to rub at his eyes.</p><p>“You ready to go to sleep again?” Silk asked</p><p>Tommy paused, casting his gaze to the floor, and fidgeting with his hands. He shook his head slowly.</p><p>“I…I can still see it.” He spoke quietly</p><p>Silk shifted closer to Tommy, stroking a tender hand through his hair. “If you want to talk about it I’m all ears. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>Tommy looked hesitant, his blue eyes darting across her face as if he expected to find evidence that she was lying to him there. Eventually he sighed, biting on his lip anxiously. “I keep having a dream that Dream kills me.”</p><p>Silk arched an eyebrow, but made an attentive noise. <em>Dream</em>? What did he do that made Tommy’s unconscious that scared of him?</p><p>A nauseatingly satisfied voice in her head cooed praise to her for being <em>right</em>. There <em>was</em> something off about Dream. A decent trustworthy person wouldn’t be giving a child nightmares where they <em>murder</em> him.</p><p>“We…we had a duel in the first war.” Tommy gradually elaborated. “We walked ten paces and then fired an arrow at each other.”</p><p>“I missed.” Tommy clenched his fists and stared hard at the ground.” And Dream…Dream shot me.”</p><p>Silk suppressed the growing flame in her stomach and relaxed her clenched fist. She knew now wasn’t the time to get angry.</p><p>Tommy’s mouth twisted into a rueful smile. “You wouldn’t have missed Silk.”</p><p>Silk’s face creased into a frown.</p><p>She had shown Tommy her bow skills after he had inquired about why she was invited to the Dream SMP. She had set up practice targets in their garden, even incorporating redstone to make some of the targets move. She had sucked in a deep breath, clearing her mind and channelling all her energy into her bow.</p><p>Tommy had watched in awe as she hit every target dead on.</p><p>In all fairness hitting targets – even moving ones – was practically child’s play to her. It was incomparable to hitting an animal or a person - something <em>real</em> – with an arrow. They were far more unpredictable than a patterned moving target.</p><p>Of course, after she had explained this to Tommy he had demanded that she hit something real.</p><p>Silk had sighed, but dutifully aimed at a nearby rabbit that was rapidly scurrying to its hole. Her arrow sliced through the air, easily landing in the poor creature’s body with a precise thud.</p><p>Tommy had let out an excited whoop, rushing over to the rabbit’s carcass and declaring that they would have it for dinner with an infectious grin on his face.</p><p>He had then, in usual Tommy fashion, demanded that she teach him.</p><p>Silk had laid a guiding hand on Tommy’s shoulder and instructed him on his stance, where to look and how to aim properly.</p><p>Tommy was good with a bow.</p><p>Silks eyebrows had raised with surprise, and she had voiced this thought to Tommy. After Tommy had huffed and complained that he was nowhere near as good as her yet, she had tried to explain that she had spent her whole life training with a bow. That, unless he put in hours and years of dedication, he would never be able to match her level of skill.</p><p>Tommy wasn’t having it.</p><p>They had stayed in the garden that night until the sun had set and Tommy’s fingers had turned red from repeatedly firing the bow.</p><p>Tommy slept through the night that evening</p><p>Silk frowned as she reflected on the memory.</p><p>“Tommy…you cant compare yourself to me. I was <em>brought</em> here because of my bow skills. To say I wouldn’t have missed isn’t a fair comparison and you know that.”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter anyway.” Tommy muttered and his jaw tightened “I always thought I was the hero, but in reality I couldn’t do a thing. I couldn’t beat Dream, I couldn’t stop Wilbur, I couldn’t <em>win</em>.”</p><p>“All I have to show for all those wars are nightmares and being on Dream’s hit list.” Tommy murmured, drawing his knees up to his chest.</p><p>“Dream’s not going to hurt you Tommy.” Silk stated with unyielding certainty.</p><p>Tommy looked surprised at her declaration, a glimmer of hope flickering in his blue eyes. However, that glimmer quickly dissipated and Tommy sighed. “You don’t know that. You don’t know Dream. He does whatever he wants. No one can stop him.”</p><p>“I’ll protect you.” Silk said impulsively. “I’ll fight with you if you need me too.”</p><p>Silk gripped Tommy’s shoulders, her fingers digging into the fabric of his t-shirt. “You’ve seen it Tommy. You know I can protect you.”</p><p>“He’s stronger than you.” Tommy muttered.</p><p>“I know” Silk assured him.</p><p>Tommy didn’t look reassured by her words. In fact, the blue in his eyes dulled and he shrugged Silk’s hands off him. “I don’t want you to protect me. I don’t want you to be dragged into my dumb shit. You’ll just get hurt and it will be my fault.”</p><p>“I wont blame you if I get hurt Tommy. I will be my decision to look our for y-“</p><p>“<em>I</em> will blame me.” Tommy snapped, cutting her off.</p><p>“All I do is fuck things up for people. That’s- That’s what the nightmares are about. Dream doesn’t just kill me. He kills my friends, my <em>family</em>. Recently, recently it has even been…even been you. And I cant do shit to save anyone. Protecting me means you’ll get hurt because of me and I wont be able to do anything about it. In the war – all the wars – I…I was useless then and I’m still…I’m still-“</p><p>Tommy’s eyes glossed over, and he abruptly stopped talking. Silk could assume this was because he didn’t want his voice to crack and give him away.</p><p>Silk felt tears burn behind her eyes. She reached out to Tommy and pulled him close. Her hand wrapped in his soft blond hair and her other arm clutched at his shoulders. Tommy’s arms came up to wrap around her middle in return.</p><p>
  <em>I know you’re a good kid Tommy. You’re a genuine kid. I care about you. I’m here for you. I love you. I love you. </em>
</p><p>Silk desperately tried to convey these words through her touch, scared that if she dared to speak them out loud she would spook Tommy. Her hands flitted across Tommy’s hair and back in a comforting manner and she quietly made nonsensical consoling noises.</p><p>They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Tommy carefully pulled away, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor and wiping at his nose with his sleeve.</p><p>There was a brief silence as Tommy fidgeted with his hands.</p><p>“I think…I think I’ll try and sleep again now.” Tommy said quietly.</p><p>Silk nodded in understanding, slowly rising from the wooden floor as Tommy did the same. As Silk turned towards the door, Tommy made a small noise that grabbed her attention. “Would…would you stay until I fall asleep again? Please?”</p><p>Silk gave a small smile and nodded, pulling up a chair to sit on as Tommy clambered into bed.</p><p>Tommy turned away from Silk to face the wall. He curled in on himself and murmured into his pillow.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Silk dragged a light hand through blonde hair. “Anytime.”</p><p> </p><p>Once she was sure Tommy was asleep, Silk quietly left the room and headed towards the alchemy room. It was still a ridiculous time of the night, but Silk doubted she would be able to fall back to sleep.</p><p>Besides, now was a prime opportunity for her to work on her latest project undisturbed.</p><p>She reached into her ender chest and pulled out the supplies she had kept hidden.</p><p>She spread her notes across the work surface and lined up her ingredients. She sighed at the pages upon pages of her scribbled handwriting. She had spent several nights working on her secret project, but was yet to see any results. She huffed heavily and scraped her hair back into a tight ponytail.</p><p>“Let’s fucking do this. Sleep is for the weak.”</p><p>Several hours later, the morning sun was established in the sky and dark circles were creeping under Silk’s eyes.</p><p>She grinned to herself manically as she held the completed object in her hand and an overwhelming feeling of happiness flooded her.</p><p>
  <em>I fucking did it.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Silk handed Wilbur the item she had crafted.</p><p>Wilbur looked at her curiously.</p><p>“I’ve been working on something. Somewhat secretly.” Silk shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck.</p><p>“I know everything has been hard for you since you…since you died. I thought this might help.” Silk offered a small smile.</p><p>The object was a yellow blob. It was soft and jiggly. It rippled like water in Wilbur’s hands.</p><p>It was practically identical to Wilbur’s ‘blue’.</p><p>Except…</p><p>Wilbur gasped, his eyes lighting up as the colour drained from the blob and it turned transparent in his hands. His eyes glowed with happiness and a breath-taking smile formed on his face.</p><p>“I spent a few days basically reverse engineering ‘Blue’.” Silk explained, studying the expression on Wilbur’s face “So instead of it absorbing your sadness, you absorb happiness.”</p><p>Wilbur looked at her, practically glowing “I call it ‘Yellow’” Silk smiled back</p><p>She had spent several sleepless nights perfecting the object. Hours of breaking ‘blue’ down to its basic components and reconstructing it in different ways. All of them failures until her last version.</p><p>It was such a pain.</p><p>Still, it had been a long time since she had completed such a challenging project. She had missed the warm familiar feeling of satisfaction that was coursing through her body</p><p>Besides, the smile on Wilbur’s face was more than worth the sleepless nights.</p><p>“Do you just have one?” Wilbur asked, tilting his head at her.</p><p>Silk laughed awkwardly. She had only been able to make two samples of yellow so far. One that she used as a test when she realised that her formula was a success. Then the second she had just handed to Wilbur. She didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of explaining to Wilbur how many sleepless nights and failed attempts she had to experience in order to get only <em>one</em> sample of ‘yellow’. “Yeah, uh it’s not that easy to make. So that was just that one, for now. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“No…its fine. It’s just the feeling…” Wilbur trailed off, staring longingly at the transparent blob in his palms.</p><p>“It…it just reminds me of when I was alive.” Wilbur murmured, a tender smile on his face.</p><p>“Is that…a good thing?” Silk asked tentatively. She knew Wilbur’s emotions tended to become temperamental when he discussed being alive.</p><p>“I-I think so.” Wilbur nodded slowly.</p><p>“It’s a feeling I had forgotten. I-it’s a good feeling.” Wilbur assured her, gently cradling his hands. “It’s what I- What Alivebur used to feel.”</p><p>Hope surged in Silk’s heart.</p><p>Wilbur was associating happiness with being alive?</p><p>“B-but…but Alivebur was the bad guy.” Wilbur said the words like a mantra, but a conflicted expression crossed his face. “A-and I’m not him.”</p><p>Silk’s mouth twisted into a frown. She resisted the urge to correct Wilbur. To tell him that he <em>was</em> Alivebur – Alivebur was <em>Wilbur</em>.</p><p>Silk felt an inexplicably sad pain in her chest at Wilbur’s clear feelings of detachment from ‘Alivebur’. Wilbur seemed determined to completely reject the concept that they were one and the same.</p><p>Silk didn’t understand it.</p><p>Sure, she hadn’t known Wilbur when he was alive, but the Wilbur she <em>did</em> know was kind, gentle, thoughtful. ‘Alivebur’ couldn’t have been so different. He couldn’t have been the evil tyrant that Wilbur was convinced he was. The difference between the two was just too great.</p><p>Like strings weaving together, an idea slowly formed in her head.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Tommy…” Silk called out to him tentatively.</p><p>It was the next morning and Tommy had just emerged from his room into the library. Silk hurried to open a nearby book, attempting to cover the fact that she had been waiting there for Tommy.</p><p>She wasn’t sure how Tommy would react to her idea. She cautiously continued as Tommy acknowledged her presence. “I have an idea. Something for Wilbur. I wanted to see if you could help.”</p><p>Tommy shrugged and asked her what her idea was.</p><p>Silk bit her lip. She briefly explained what she had noticed about Wilbur’ detachment from ‘Alivebur’ “So I had the idea that we could create a book, and have people write in it. Write <em>good</em> things that they remember about Wilbur when he was alive. If we gave Wilbur something like that then maybe…maybe he’d stop hating himself so much.”</p><p>Tommy was silent. After a long pause he turned his gaze away from her and muttered. “You’re too nice to him Silk.”</p><p>Silk frowned and placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Is it a bad idea?”</p><p>Tommy shook his head lightly.</p><p>“Then…can you help me?” Silk asked</p><p>“If I can think of anything good to say.” Tommy’s tone was sour. “I guess it’s a good idea, but you might not be able to do it. Since you need other people to actually write good things about Wilbur.”</p><p>Silk immediately launched into her plan, confirming with Tommy who would and wouldn’t be good to approach. Tommy did help her, but seemed reluctant to do so, a sullen look remaining on his face.</p><p>Excitement nipped at Silk and a smile slowly grew on her face. Maybe this <em>would</em> work.</p><p>Silk had relaxed somewhat, not paying any mind to Tommy’s mood. She casually voiced her thoughts about Wilbur to Tommy. She began to explain her thoughts on Wilbur’s detachment from ‘Alivebur’. “I mean, at the end of the day they’re the <em>same</em> s-“</p><p>“They’re not the same.” Tommy cut her off bluntly, his tone sharp.</p><p>Silk blinked at him in surprise.</p><p>“I don’t even mean that Ghostbur isn’t like Wilbur because he doesn’t have all of Wilbur’s bad traits” Tommy elaborated. “The good things aren’t the same either.”</p><p>“Wilbur was nothing like Ghostbur when he was alive. He had his issues, but he was smart, he was confident, he was a leader. Ghostbur barely knows how to have normal social interactions. He’s incapable of reading the room, he’s oblivious to practically everything. My brother was nothing like that.” Tommy seemed angry, his jaw was tense.</p><p>Silk frowned and placed a soothing hand on his shoulder. “Wilbur <em>died</em> Tommy. He was bound to change in some ways, but the Wilbur we know <em>now</em> is kind. He’s thoughtful and peaceful and he wants the best for people. Was he not like that when he was alive?”</p><p>“He was.” Tommy reluctantly agreed. “He…he wanted L’Manberg to be peaceful. He tried to resolve things with words before violence – which wasn’t always the best – but…but he tried. He was…”</p><p>Silk heart skipped a beat as she saw Tommy’s eyes gloss over.</p><p>“He was <em>good</em>.” Tommy stared at the floor. The unshed tears did not fall. Tommy blinked them back and looked anywhere, but Silk.</p><p>Silk internally kicked herself for not thinking further ahead.</p><p>Tommy had sworn to himself to hate Wilbur ever since he died. He spoke and thought about him with nothing but contempt. He aggressively refused to forgive Wilbur or acknowledge any of the good that he did.</p><p>She had assumed that attitude was born from childish immaturity.</p><p>She realised now it had been a coping mechanism.</p><p>By coxing Tommy into remembering the good that Wilbur had done, she had inadvertently given him something to <em>mourn</em>.</p><p>If Wilbur had been good, then Tommy had <em>lost</em> something when he died.</p><p>Tommy quickly made excuses to leave and rushed away to his room, the slam of his door booming across the library.</p><p>Silk had an empty feeling in her chest. She dug her fingernails harshly into her palms, as if the pain could alleviate the regret echoing in her chest. Silk cringed at her own behaviour, anger flickering like a flame inside of her. Venting her thoughts to a traumatised child about his dead brother? What the fuck was wrong with her? She had become too relaxed. Too immersed in her own idea to pay attention to the obvious. She pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes until she saw stars.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Her idea wasn’t the easiest task.</p><p>It had taken days. The citizens of the Dream SMP were busy people and exceptionally difficult to get hold of. There were some people that had only joined after Wilbur had died so could not contribute. Then there were others who flat out refused to contribute, declaring that there was nothing good they could have written about Wilbur when he was alive.</p><p>But she had done it.</p><p>She had managed to get just under twenty people to write something positive about Wilbur in the book. Some people had written no more than a sentence, others had been able to write paragraphs about the good memories that they held with Wilbur.</p><p>Silk sat in the library; her feet tucked under herself.</p><p>She stroked a delicate finger down the leather spine of the book, her eyes scanning the words on the pages as though, if she just looked hard enough, she would be able to experience those memories with Wilbur herself.</p><p>Longing pulled at her chest. A hollow envious feeling that whispered down her spine and wrapped around her heart.</p><p>Having such a book in her hand – a document that was an irrefutable declaration that Wilbur <em>had</em> been good - only fuelled her already spiralling feelings for Wilbur.</p><p>A rueful smile graced her lips. <em>I would have liked to have known him when he was alive.</em></p><p>Silk glanced up at the sound of a door creaking open, her mouth pulling down slightly when she saw who it was.</p><p>Tommy stared at her, his eyes slowly dragging down to the book in her hands. Silk saw the dots connect in Tommy’s head when he read Wilbur’s name printed on the book’s cover.</p><p>“Is that…?” Tommy gestured to the book, pursing his lips.</p><p>“It’s the book I made for Wilbur.” Silk confirmed with a nod.</p><p>Tommy strode over and removed the book from Silk’s grip. “Do you have a quill?”</p><p>“Tommy…you don’t have to.” Silk’s face creased with concern, instinctively reaching out to him. She had been walking on eggshells around Tommy since they last spoke. Regret for pushing him too hard twisting like a knife in her chest every time she saw him.</p><p>“I want to.” Tommy’s mouth was set in a hard line and his tone was determined.</p><p>Silk dutifully, albeit uncertainly, fetched Tommy a quill and Tommy took a seat at a table on the opposite side of the room.</p><p>Silk feigned reading a random book, stealing glances at Tommy every few seconds.</p><p>Tommy’s face was screwed up in concentration, his tongue sticking out and his left hand fisted in blonde hair. Every few minutes his gaze would rise to the ceiling and he would look thoughtful, before hunching over the book to scribble something down.</p><p>After about twenty-five minutes – the longest anyone had taken so far, Silk noted – Tommy closed the book and handed it back to her.</p><p>He made some vague threat about not reading his entry, that contained the word ‘fuck’ three times and ‘bitch’ once, before declaring he was <em>very</em> busy and returning to his room.</p><p>Silk raised an eyebrow at Tommy’s now-closed door and sighed in a weary – but fond – manner.</p><p>Even with Tommy’s empty threat, she was quick to open the book in her hands to it’s final page.</p><p>Despite the time that Tommy had taken to complete his entry, Silk was still surprised by the length. It was nearly a page and a half long. Words of childhood memories and lists of Wilbur’s admirable traits decorated the pages. Silk could hardly believe Tommy had been able to write all this about a person he claimed to hate.</p><p>Silk quickly scanned the black spider scrawl that adorned the page, her eyes finally falling on Tommy’s last sentence.</p><p>
  <em>He was my brother. He loved me. <strike>I lo</strike></em>
</p><p>A soft smile blossomed on her face.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I, uh, have something for you.” Silk blurted the words out, immediately cringing at her painful awkwardness.</p><p>Brown eyes blinked at her innocently. Wilbur titled his head, brown curls falling lightly in front of his eyes.</p><p>It had taken Silk a few days to pluck up the courage to give the book to Wilbur. She had tried several times, but the words always got stuck in her throat.</p><p>It took Tommy bitching at her earlier that day for her to be able to finally blurt the words out. He had, in no uncertain terms, called her a <em>pussy</em> when she had sheepishly admitted that she <em>still</em> hadn’t given the book to Wilbur,</p><p>“It’s a book for you to read.” Silk explained, biting her lip slightly. “Its…its about <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“Its about when you were alive.” She elaborated. “I know you don’t remember much and you think ‘Alivebur’ was a bad guy so…so hopefully this will change your mind.”</p><p>Silk placed the book cautiously in Wilbur’s waiting hands. She glanced at him nervously, biting on the tip of her thumb as he turned the book over in his hands.</p><p>Wilbur stroked his hand over the hard leather. He looked slightly anxious, and Silk chewed on her lip nervously wondering if she had gone too far. Wilbur had slowly become more and more open about his past life with her, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was ready to be faced with such an overwhelming testimony of it. Despite his apparent anxiety, Wilbur opened the book. Brown eyes slowly scanned the first page.</p><p>Silk was content to sit there in silence whilst Wilbur absorbed the words on each page. Silk drank in every tiny shift in Wilbur’s face, trying not to hold her breath.</p><p>About halfway through the book Wilbur’s bottom lip began to quiver. He sucked it into his mouth, biting on it lightly as if that would stop the involuntary tremor. Tears spilt over and poured down Wilbur’s cheeks. He shifted his gaze to Silk, his brown eyes glossy and dark lashes wet with tears. He gasped and wiped at his eyes haphazardly as if he hadn’t realised he had begun crying.</p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>.” Wilbur’s voice cracked and his grip creased the edges of the book. “I’ll keep it forever.”</p><p>Silk’s heart ached.</p><p>“You’re not the bad guy Wilbur.” Silk whispered. “This book should tell you that.”</p><p>“Trauma can change a person. People make mistakes. You were never evil Wilbur. I didn’t need to know you when you were alive to know that. I know you <em>now</em> Wilbur. You are kind. You are good. Someone who was <em>bad</em> wouldn’t have been able to change that much, even with lost memories.” Silk reached out and gently placed her hand on Wilbur’s chest, over his heart. “You’ve always been good Wilbur. Where it counts.”</p><p>Tears were still cascading down Wilbur’s face and he nodded wordlessly, placing his own hand over the one on his chest</p><p>Silk brought her other hand up to carefully wipe away Wilbur’s tears.</p><p>Wilbur leant into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed.</p><p>Wilbur’s tears glittered like crystals as they fell and she delicately gathered them with her thumb. When he opened his eyes, the gloss of tears made his brown eyes shine like whiskey in sunlight.</p><p>Silk felt something pulling her forward. A weaving thread that laced around her body, reaching out, looping across Wilbur’s chest and tying the two together. It was a familiar feeling now. The same subconscious pull that drew her to Wilbur at the lake. She didn’t fight it. Breathlessly, she leant closer to Wilbur, too captivated to realise that he was doing the same thing.</p><p>His forehead leant again her own, making her jolt slightly and the tips of their noses bumped together clumsily.</p><p>Wilbur looked at her through low lashes. He carefully took her hand and intertwined their fingers. Electricity sparked down Silk’s spine from where their fingers were connected, the touch achingly similar to that night on the lake.</p><p>She could feel his breath ghosting across her lips. They were so…</p><p><em>Close</em>.</p><p>
  <em>He’s so close.</em>
</p><p>She suppressed a weak noise that was desperate to fall from her lips. Her heart rattled in her chest like bird trapped in a cage. She felt blood rush to her face, a fiery heat that lit a radiant path across her cheeks. Her whole face felt hot, her mind felt blank, she had the senseless instinct to hide her face as her centre of gravity lurched and she felt like she was…</p><p><em>Falling</em>.</p><p>Silk felt her breath catch in her throat. She could hear the blood rush in her ears, and it felt like she was hyper aware of every cell in her body right down to her fingertips. They were all singing for her to reach out to Wilbur. Get closer to him.</p><p>She felt like she wasn’t in control of her body anymore. Like her body had now decided to follow Wilbur’s command. As if his heart had synced up with her own and taken over.</p><p>She had never felt this feeling before. Like she was completely out of control. Spinning. Spiralling. But the fear in her chest was overwhelming drowned out by the strange elation she felt as she fell into the honey brown eyes in front of her.</p><p>“I…” Silk swallowed. She couldn’t speak. Like her voice has been stolen from her, swept away by the sea of heat rolling through her body.</p><p>Wilbur squeezed her hand. He fixed her with a look she hadn’t seen before. A look that sent a new wave of heat coursing through her. He let out a sigh. The gust of air glided across her face and a shiver wracked her body. Silk did not feel cold.</p><p>Wilbur gently let go of her hand and leant back. Silk was barely able to bite back the mournful sound she wanted to make. Wilbur stood up and gave her a small smile. “I’ll make us some tea.”</p><p>Silk felt her head spin. It felt like she had an iron deficiency and had stood up too fast. She pressed her palms to her head as if that would solve the issue and she felt the urge to splash cold water on her face,</p><p>Had she been the only one in that moment?</p><p>Had she imagined it?</p><p>Silk felt a curious sense of loss in her chest and she chewed on her lip nervously.</p><p><em>What </em>was<em> that? </em></p><p>She drew her attention back to Wilbur as he flitted around the kitchen preparing tea.</p><p>He was holding the tea kettle. He was placing the cups. He was washing his hands. He was opening cupboards to search for tea.</p><p>As she observed Wilbur, clear thoughts lined up like puzzle pieces in her head.</p><p>Wilbur could still touch things and interact with people.</p><p>He could open doors, hold books, craft things. He could eat and drink. Potions affected him. ‘Blue’ worked on him. He could feel pain, he could be <em>hit</em>. He could talk and laugh and cry. He just seemed so…<em>alive</em>.</p><p>Silk was sure ghosts, <em>real</em> ghosts, shouldn’t be able to do those things. It’s not like Wilbur was just a spirit. He had a body…of sorts.</p><p>And so a fourth idea sprung into Silk’s head.</p><p>
  <em>What if…</em>
</p><p>Her clenched her hand into a fist.</p><p><em>I should go see Fundy</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was so long I decided to split it into two. This is the first part and then I will upload another shorter chapter, hopefully in the next few days.</p><p>Once again kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism dont be afraid to let me know what you think! The positive response so far has made me so happy :)</p><p>I love the fact that 90% of my comments start with "I don't normally like OC fics but..." This isn't at all sarcasm btw its actually so validating that people who typically don't enjoy these type of fics enjoy my writing enough to give this fic a chance despite the fact that its an OC fic!! I will be the first to say I don't normally read OC fics myself! I just really wanted to show SMP!Tommy and Ghostbur some love and affection and i just didn't feel that any of the current SMP characters would (canonically at least) fit the role that i wanted Silk to play towards Wilbur and Tommy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. An Easier Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ladies and Gentlemen may I please introduce you to: The Plot</p><p>Yes that's right, we have finally reached that point. THE point. I hope you all enjoy and stick with the story as things are going to be picking up a bit quicker now.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Boring Stuff - </p><p>As always thank you so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter! Please keep them coming </p><p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So you give them the weakness potion and then a golden apple and it just…brings them back to life?” Silk enquired.</p><p>Silk was standing staring at several zombie villagers trapped behind iron bars. Their eyes were vacant as they mindlessly reached towards her, their hands grappling at the bars. Their woeful groans sent shivers down her spine and she quickly redirected her attention to Fundy, wrapping her arms around herself</p><p>Fundy nodded, orange ears set in soft brown hair flicking slightly as he scratched at them. “Yep, you got it. It’s crazy what potions and golden apples can do.”</p><p>Fundy had a fascinating set up. He had created a small room to collect zombie villagers and cure them. He explained to her that this was because, after they were cured, they were so grateful that they would provide discounted trades.</p><p>“Do you…do you think this could work on a bigger scale?” Silk hesitantly asked. “Like…something that’s been dead – <em>really</em> dead – for longer?”</p><p>Fundy frowned, looking thoughtful. His ears flicked again and Silk chided herself for wanting to reach out and pet them. “I’m not sure. Curing zombie villagers is fairly simple. There’s already an existing formula for it, it’s not something I came up with myself. Alchemy isn’t something I’m proficient at so I don’t know how easy or hard it would be to recreate this on a larger scale.”</p><p>Silk nodded, biting her lip. “Was there something you had in mind?” Fundy titled his head, his ears flopping with the motion.</p><p>Silk blanched. She rapidly shook her head and waved her hands in a flustered manner. “No, no. Not at all. I’m just curious that’s all. It’s quite fascinating that you can bring them back to life from a zombified state in the first place. I was just wondering if it was possible to take that process further.”</p><p>Fundy nodded in unsuspecting agreement. “It’s probably something I’d look into if I was any good at alchemy. Although I highly doubt golden apples would be enough if you were looking to revive something <em>more</em> dead than a zombie.”</p><p>Silk scrunched her nose up. “How do you mean?”<br/>
“Well golden apples are special, but they are craftable. They’re just gold-coated apples. If you’re looking at something more dead than a zombie I doubt they’d been enough. You’d likely have to use a god apple.” Seeing Silk’s confusion at the term ‘god apple’ Fundy elaborated. “God apples can’t be crafted. They’re very rare items that can occasionally be found naturally.  No one knows where they come from, hence why they can’t be crafted. But they have insane healing powers. They’re basically just golden apples with enchantments on them, but we call them ‘god apples’ for a reason. If you’re looking to revive something more than a zombie villager that would be your best bet.”</p><p>Silk stared at Fundy with aggressive determination. “Where can I find them?”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Harsh wind whipped at her hair and Silk aggressively pulled it back into her signature ponytail for the millionth time. She blinked hard, her eyes feeling dry and heavy. She chugged one of her numerous water bottles, the now-tepid water barely soothing her parched throat. She sighed heavily as she noticed the skin on her arms turning pink as the desert sun mercilessly beat down upon her.</p><p>
  <em>I fucking hate the desert.</em>
</p><p>It was easily her least favourite biome. She even preferred the rough waves and freezing salty breeze of the deep seas. It was hot and desolate, a vast sea of sand that seemed to go on endlessly. The lack of naturally occurring resources also meant she had to carry a large number of supplies with her through the heat. The night-time was no better. The heat eased slightly, but the vast flat landscape of the desert provided mobs with an abundance of space in which to roam. Her fingers ached from the number of arrows she had fired before the sun had risen.</p><p>She had walked all through the night without rest and, as it neared midday, she was still walking. She was tired. Her legs felt weak and heatwaves made her vision swim slightly.</p><p>However, after a while Silk’s heart rate ticked up slightly. Despite her fatigue, she began to walk quicker as she spotted what she had been looking for in the distance.</p><p><em>With my luck it will be a mirage.</em> She thought hysterically, rolling her eyes and tightening her grip on her bag.</p><p>Fortunately, the desert temple wasn’t a mirage.</p><p>It stood tall and very real in front of her, the smooth sandstone camouflaged against the broad dunes.</p><p>Silk eagerly ventured inside, her footsteps echoing around the empty space.</p><p>She swung her legs and jumped down to the lower floor with a thud. She dropped her bag on the ground and broke open one of the coloured floor tiles with her pickaxe.</p><p>A familiar fondness glowed in her heart as she handled the enchanted tool.</p><p>She placed a bucket of water down, letting the water flow down to the bottom. She took a deep breath and jumped down the hole, picking up the water as she did so and riding the stream to the bottom as it slowly disappeared.</p><p>Silk didn’t mind that the water soaked straight through her clothes. It offered some respite from the unbearable heat and evaporated quickly in the sun. She wrung out her shirt and tiptoed carefully around the stone pressure plate that laid inconspicuously in the middle of the floor.</p><p>She pushed her wet hair back from her face and apprehensively opened one of the chests.</p><p><em>Empty</em>.</p><p>Silk groaned loudly, letting out a string of curse words that Tommy would be proud of and smacking her head again the stone wall.</p><p>This was the fourth temple she had found to be empty. She could only assume that every temple within a reasonable radius of the Dream SMP had already been raided.</p><p>Which made her mission practically impossible.</p><p>God apples were already very rare items, but it an untouched desert temple was proving to be rare in itself.</p><p>For the first time since arriving at the Dream SMP Silk felt hopeless.</p><p>She pressed a fist to her forehead and bit on her lip as she felt the burn of tears in her eyes. She sighed heavily and dragged a heavy hand across her face. She glanced up at the light streaming through the small hole she had made. Dust particles swirled and danced in the sunbeam like fireflies, casting a peaceful glow upon her. Silk rapidly blinked trying to clear her brewing tears.</p><p>She slapped her cheeks lightly and shook her head. <em>Toughen up dumbass. </em></p><p>Silk leaned back, shifting her foot as she kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She barely noticed the ground shifting slightly beneath her foot.</p><p>She heard a light hissing sound.</p><p>Her heart dropped.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>!” Silk shrieked, ripping an ender pearl from her belt, and throwing it as hard as she could at the hole in the ceiling.</p><p>She felt her body being ripped upwards just as the TNT detonated. Even as every particle of her body was being magically dragged to the surface, she felt the heat of the blast. Silk gasped as a searing pain shot through her leg and she was thrown onto the hard stone of the temple’s floor. She coughed, banging at her chest aggressively as smoke and dust flooded her lungs. She gasped for air, her eyes watering and her chest heaving.</p><p>“For fucks <em>sake</em>.” She groaned to herself, her voice weak.</p><p>She glanced down at her leg. Her left trouser leg was ripped in half and her calf was swollen and bleeding, various pieces of shrapnel jutting out of it.</p><p>Silk rolled her eyes. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”</p><p>She carefully pulled the debris out of her leg with gritted teeth. Once she was done, he reached into her bag and pulled out a golden apple. She quickly bit into it, the delicate flavour trickling down her throat. She ran a tired hand over her face as she felt her leg being to heal. It would take a few minutes for her to be able to walk on it again, but she would be fine.</p><p>Silk laid back against the floor with a disdainful sigh, the cool stone offering minimal reprieve from the heat.</p><p>
  <em>There has got be an easier way.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Upon re-entering L’Manberg she stumbled across Tubbo. He was clutching a messy stack of papers to his chest. Silk gave him a weary wave, readjusting her bag on her shoulder. She currently had a one-track mind of <em>going to bed</em>.</p><p>Tubbo froze in the sunlight. His blue eyes shone as they widened. A stray piece of paper escaped his hands with the wind, dancing across the sky as it floated away.</p><p>He paid this no mind and instead rushed over to her, his face creasing with concern “Silk, what <em>happened</em>? Are you okay?”</p><p>It only then occurred to Silk what she looked like. Her face and body were coated in dirt, her hair was wild from the desert winds and her lack of sleep was evident on her face. Not to mention her ripped trouser leg which was displaying areas of dried blood that she hadn’t gotten round to wiping away.</p><p>Silk rapidly assured Tubbo that she was fine and explained her purpose in the desert.</p><p>Tubbo still nervously hovered around her, worrying at his lip, but titled his head at her explanation.</p><p>“God apples?” Tubbo questioned looking thoughtful. “Desert temples are really hit and miss for those. Plus all of the near ones have already been emptied.”</p><p>Silk bit back a weary laugh. <em>Don’t I know it</em></p><p>“Your best bet would be to talk to Dream I think.” Tubbo advised her. “He seems to have an endless supply. Maybe he’ll be able to tell you where he gets them from.”</p><p>Silk tensed at the suggestion. She pursed her lips and glanced away from Tubbo. She carefully assessed the idea and reluctantly recognised Tubbo was probably right.</p><p>That didn’t stop the deeper part of her mind from growling at the concept.</p><p>She let out a deep sigh. She thanked Tubbo for his advice and pointed him in the direction that his stray paper had floated in minutes ago.</p><p>Silk would have time to wrestle with her instinct over asking Dream for help tomorrow. Right now she needed a shower and sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Silk stepped into the shower, her toes flinching as they touched the cool ceramic floor, such a vast contrast to the hot dunes of the desert. Water gently rained atop her head, darkening her hair and stroking a path down her back. The shower was warm, brushing down her skin and erasing the unpleasant grime on her skin. Goosebumps raised on the few parts of her body that weren’t covered by the flow and she shivered delicately. Water poured down her face, falling from the tip of her nose and caressing across her lips. Her tongue darted out slowly, catching stray drops and Silk sighed contently. It was a welcome sensation after the scarcity of water in the desert.</p><p>As she revelled in the luxury of a shower, her mind slowly drifted like a magnetic pull.</p><p><em>Wilbur</em>.</p><p>Her wistful sigh resonated in the small shower as the ethereal boy floated through her mind.</p><p>She found that whenever she had a moment to herself like this, her mind would wander.</p><p>Memories of him swirled across her mind like a fog.</p><p>His bright smile. His wide brown eyes. Wilbur sitting curled up with a book on their chair. Wilbur looking at her curiously as they made dinner together. The look of elation on his face when they completed a potion. How he had looked in the colours of the sunrise. The feeling of their hands intertwined. The sensation of his breath ghosting over her lips. Their foreheads pressed together, their noses brushing and them leaning closer and…</p><p>Silk shook her head, tilting her face into the water flow as if that could wash away her thoughts. She felt like fire was trailing through her body. Burning a path right through her heart and causing it to beat erratically. She breathed deeply, letting water pour over her parted lips and trying to calm her unstable heart.</p><p>She turned her gaze to the floor, staring as soap flowed down the drain, shimmering silver swirls twisting around her feet. Another sigh echoed around the small space and she flicked the water off, reluctantly leaving the warm embrace of the shower.</p><p>She wrapped a soft towel around herself, pulling it tightly as a barrier from the cold outside air. As she padded back to her room, rivulets of water rolling down her neck,  her thoughts glided back to her earlier conversation with Tubbo.</p><p>She exhaled in resignation as one thing began painfully clear.</p><p>
  <em>I need to talk to Dream</em>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The castle hall looked different from how she had remembered it. It still had its high ceilings and intricate decorations; however, it somehow had a more pleasant air in the light of day.</p><p>The large wooden doors were open, allowing the daylight to flow into the room. Bright sunlight streamed through the high stained windows. It cast sparkling colours across the room, each beam of light glittering and twisting between the shadows. The grand gold throne winked at her in the light and Silk spun slowly, in awe of the great hall. It felt so different in the daytime.</p><p>It felt so different when Dream wasn’t there.</p><p>“Silkoline!” A loud voice coated in phoney cheer greeted her.</p><p>Silk bristled at Dream’s timing, and mentally added this occurrence to her growing lists of things that unsettled her about Dream.</p><p>“Or rather ‘<em>Silkisfine’</em>” Dream grinned at his own pun.</p><p>Silk’s eye twitched.</p><p>Dream nonchalantly enquired about the reason for her presence. He kept his usual formal air of causal enquiry, but Silk couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being scrutinized. Silk automatically kept a watchful eye on the glowing netherite axe strapped to his back.</p><p>“I had something I wanted to ask.” Silk stated. She straightened her shoulders and met Dream’s gaze head on.</p><p>Dream looked interested, he walked casually towards the window-lined wall, hands clasped behind his back. “A favour?”</p><p>“Something like that.” Silk admitted.</p><p>Dream smiled.</p><p>The hairs on Silk’s neck rose.</p><p>Dream pulled the curtains for the windows and slammed the entrance door shut. Sparse glowing lanterns abruptly became the only light source. Dream silently walked over to the throne, his footsteps echoing in the ill-lit room and his faux-cheer sharply disappearing. He elegantly sat himself on the throne, the action looking far too habitual for someone who was <em>not</em> the king</p><p>“Okay,” He drawled, leaning forward and placing his hands under his chin. “Let’s talk business.”</p><p>Silk sucked in a deep breath. She walked closer to Dream, stopping before a small marble table that was between herself and the throne. She fixed Dream with a hard stare.</p><p>“I feel like I should preface this by letting you know that I don’t like or trust you.”<br/>
Dream laughed at her statement, the noise booming across the hall. He made an interested noise and quirked an eyebrow. “And why would that be?”</p><p>Silk quirked an eyebrow back, her mouth twisting unpleasantly. “Call it instinct.”</p><p>Dream smirked. “You trust those instincts?”<br/>
“Blindly.” Silk gritted her teeth, practically spitting the word at Dream.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>.” Dream grinned, his pearly white teeth glowing in the darkness.</p><p>There was a slight pause.</p><p>“Well. I’m glad that’s out the way. Honesty is a virtue.” The smile did not slip from Dream’s face.</p><p>“<em>Whatever</em> can I do for you Silkoline?” Dream questioned mockingly.</p><p>Silk sucked in a deep breath to calm herself and forcibly swallowed her pride.</p><p>“I…need supplies.” She admitted. “Specifically enchanted golden apples. I have…an idea, but I need god apples in order for me to test it. As I’m sure you know they’re rare and exceptionally difficult to get a hold of. But Tubbo told me you might know where to find them.”</p><p>Dream nimbly stood up and circled Silk. He ducked his head to Silk’s height and leant in close. A lion priming for the kill. The smile on his face was practically feral. Silk itched to reach for her bow. “<em>I do</em>.”</p><p>A light feeling rose in Silk’s chest. She gasped lightly. “The-“</p><p>“I cant tell you where to get them.” Dream cut her off, waving a casual hand and once again seating himself on the throne. His tone was light, but a smug smile crept onto his face, barely hidden by an intentionally placed hand.</p><p>Silk wanted to punch him.</p><p>She flexed her hand, forming a fist over and over again. She sucked in another deep breath and fixed Dream with a vicious stare. The grin on his face only further fuelled her desire to hit the man.</p><p>“<em>But</em>,” Dream put significant emphasis on the word. “I can provide you with them. Limitlessly.”</p><p>Silk raised an eyebrow. She knew nothing from Dream would be free. She had prepared herself for that. She narrowed her eyes. “Fine. What do you want from me?”</p><p>Dream hummed in interest. “Well.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “What would you be willing to do in return for my help?”</p><p>Silk stared him down, determination flaring in her eyes. She splayed her hand out on the marble table before her, the harsh impact echoing around the vast hall.</p><p>“<em>Whatever it takes.”</em></p><p>Dream leaned back and let out a loud laugh. He leant forward once again and gave her a sinister grin. “How <em>interesting</em>.”</p><p>Dream hopped down from where he was perched. “There is <em>one</em> thing that you can do for me.”</p><p>Silk gestured for Dream to elaborate.</p><p>“Give me information.” Dream’s tone turned serious. “On L’Manberg. More importantly, Tommy.”</p><p>Silk raised an eyebrow</p><p>She imagined that Dream could have asked much worse things of her.</p><p><em>Tommy</em>?</p><p>Cogs turned rapidly in Silk’s brain as she considered Dream’s request.</p><p>He wanted information on Tommy? That was a request that made sense.</p><p>Given all she had been told about Tommy’s past actions, it made sense that Dream would want to keep tabs on him. If she kept Dream updated on what Tommy was doing it would be easier for him to intervene and keep the peace when Tommy was getting out of hand. Silk supposed Dream was acting like a parent to Tommy in that sense. On the face of it, it seemed like a harmless request.</p><p>Still, something bristled inside her.</p><p>The instinctive part of her brain was rushing into attack mode. Screaming at her that Dream was prying. That she needed to shelter anything and everything about Tommy from Dream. That his request was too close to home. <em>Literally</em>.</p><p>However, the logical part of her brain quickly soothed her doubts, cooed at her not to be unreasonable, that she needed Dream’s help more than he needed hers, that she was doing this for <em>Wilbur</em>.</p><p>Blood rushed in her ears and Silk gritted her teeth. Conflict surged through her mind. She clenched her fists. She relaxed her shoulders.</p><p>It would be fine. It was harmless.</p><p>She didn’t like this. She didn’t like it at all.</p><p>
  <em>And yet…</em>
</p><p>“Fine.” Silk agreed. “I can do that.”</p><p>“That’s what I like to hear.” Dream grinned, placing an unwelcome hand on her shoulder. “Shall we go over the terms?”</p><p>The agreement was laid out as follows –</p><p>Dream would provide Silk with God Apples and any other ingredients she may require – Dream had insisted that the frequency and quantity in which he supplies these things was not an issue. Silk could request as much as she wanted, as often as she liked.</p><p>In return, Silk would keep a detailed diary of Tommy’s movements and provide this to Dream twice a week. The diary was not limited to Tommy’s actions. She was to record all actions from <em>anyone</em>, if those actions could be interpreted as anything other than peaceful. If there was any word of any sort of war or rebellion, or if Tommy had done anything particularly destructive, then Silk was to report this to Dream immediately, regardless of how recently she had last reported to him.</p><p>She left the castle with Dream’s promise of having everything she had listed to him available to her by tomorrow morning.</p><p>Silk sighed as she headed back to the library. She had a hollow feeling in her chest and it felt like her heart was in a vice.</p><p>Silk had almost backed out multiple times whilst drafting the agreement. The instinctive part of her brain was still ringing every alarm bell it could find, screaming and crashing around in her head.</p><p>Still…</p><p>Her heart had stuttered in her chest when her mind had drifted to Wilbur. That shameful sense of longing wailed inside of her mind. She clenched her fists as her mind burnt the image of Wilbur’s smile into the back of her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Whatever it takes.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yup we have reached the start of the main plot line guys! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think! I'm so happy we've reached this point now as I'm sooo excited to write the up coming chapters and to share what I have planned! Feel free to speculate lol</p><p>As always kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism don't be afraid to let me know what you think! Especially since we are coming up the actual plot now I really want to know what my readers are thinking!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. You're Not There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh god I'm back, hello there. I cannot believe it took me three weeks to post another chapter, someone punish me. I honestly have a laundry list of excuses, but the bottom line is I have been insanely busy and stupidly uninspired.</p><p>One of my excuses is I've been working on/planning another DreamSMP fandom project. It's reallyyyy early doors so I wont share yet, but hopefully I can gather the effort to make it work. Its not another fanfic to be clear, its actually social media related.</p><p>The SMP has been POPPING OFF in the past few weeks, Tommy's stream today was INSANE holy shit.</p><p>Anyways here is the new chapter! It's the longest one so far! Consider that my apology. I put in another Tommy and Wilbur scene in this chapter as shit is gonna start going down in the next few chapters. </p><p>There is a tiny bit in here about Silk's background, but I probably won't go into it more than this. That's because its not really relevant to the plot. Silk didn't even have a background story until like a week ago lol, I just got inspired by a song and wanted to write a little bit in. It also helps to explain her behaviour towards Tommy.</p><p>Hope everyone enjoys, as usual, please let me know what you think I appreciate it so much! As always thank you so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter! Please keep them coming! :)</p><p>The Boring Stuff -</p><p>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p><p>Please also share this fic if you enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh! Oh! I got it!” Tommy shouted eagerly, aiming his crossbow.</p><p>Silk took a sideways glance at the creeper emerging from the trees, and took a step back, allowing Tommy to take his shot.</p><p>They were currently deep in a dark wood forest in the middle of the night. Silk had told Tommy she needed to go hunting for food and he has insisted on coming with, declaring the opportunity perfect to also hunt mobs. Silk privately declared the opportunity perfect to also keep an eye on Tommy.</p><p>Silk watched in the low light as Tommy’s arrow sailed through the air and missed the creeper, landing in the dark tree next to it with a thud.</p><p>Silk sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as Tommy sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Oops. I missed.” Tommy gave her a wobbly smile and reloaded his bow, preparing for another shot</p><p>Silk smirked – she wouldn’t admit that it was in fact closer to a fond smile – and loaded her own bow.</p><p>Tommy was still fiddling with his second arrow when Silk saw him jump slightly, as her arrow sliced past his head easily finding its mark in the creeper.</p><p>“Alright, alright, no need to show off.” Tommy muttered. He brought his hand up to rub the side of his head, as if to check if the arrowed had skimmed him as it whizzed past.</p><p>She knew it hadn’t.</p><p>“Any closer and it was going to blow us up Tommy.” Silk shrugged with an arched eyebrow.</p><p>Tommy grumbled something to himself, that sound suspiciously like ‘<em>bitch’</em> and strapped his crossbow onto his back.</p><p>The thick tree canopy blocked even the silver moonlight from reaching them, leaving the flickering torches in their hands the only light source. The deep forest was eerily quiet. As if all other living creatures had disappeared with the sun. Boarding on sensory deprivation, the forest’s atmosphere was deceptively tranquil. The dark silence whispered promises of peaceful isolation, an opportunity to relax and clear your head for a while.</p><p>Silk was on high alert,</p><p>Tommy and Silk did not speak as they walked through the forest, the crunch of fallen leaves beneath their boots the only sound. Silk had instructed the usually animated Tommy to be silent around five minutes into their endeavour. As Tommy sulked, she had tried to stress the importance of using their hearing to locate mobs. With few other senses to rely on, they would have to strain their ears to detect oncoming danger. After a while, Tommy had stopped sulking, his blue eyes sharpening as he fell silent and carefully stalked through the forest.</p><p>Silk was impressed with his performance so far. Once he got serious, Tommy’s senses were proving to be keen. He was alert and observant – quick to notice and take down mobs.</p><p>Although not as quick as her.</p><p>Silk hid a smile as Tommy huffed, crossing his arms as Silk shot down another mob that he hadn’t even noticed yet.</p><p>“Stop showing off!” Tommy shouted at her waving his arms around. “I won’t get any better if you keep doing it for me!”</p><p>Silk held her hands up in a placating motion with a slight smirk. “Okay! Okay, next ones all yours.”</p><p>Tommy huffed with a curt nod and went back to stalking the forest. Silk could tell from the tension in his shoulders that he was hyper-focused, determined not to miss the next mob that appeared.</p><p>After a short time of Silk treading carefully behind Tommy, he stopped. Quickly twirling an arrow between his pale fingers, Tommy loaded his bow and fired without hesitation. He whooped and pumped a fist in the air when the mob that <em>had</em> been a few feet ahead disappeared in a puff. He was quick to over his shoulder at Silk, blue eyes scanning her face for approval.</p><p>Silk smiled softly as she approached Tommy. Silk knocked the back of Tommy’s head lightly. “Good shot buddy.”</p><p>Tommy beamed at her, his grin reaching ear to ear and his blue eyes crinkling. It was a strikingly bright image in the dark forest.  Tommy’s cheeks were flushed as he eagerly reloaded his bow, rushing further into the forest in search of more mobs. “I’ll kill some more, you watch! I’ll fuckin’ rob ‘em afterwards too!” Tommy called over his shoulder.</p><p>Silks snorted, shaking her head. “I don’t think mobs will have anything worth stealing on them”</p><p>“Well if they do – it’s mine now bitch.” Tommy’s voice floated over to her from the trees.</p><p>Silk’s chest warmed and she huffed, trying to control the fond smile on her face. <em>He was that motivated by ‘Good shot buddy’?</em></p><p>Tommy was a good kid.</p><p>Silk was sure of it.</p><p>Sure, he was a pain in the ass sometimes and had a questionable understanding of right and wrong. He also messed up a lot and was terrible at owning up to his mistakes, but he had proved himself capable of <em>trying</em> to be good.</p><p>Silk had noticed that Tommy actively sought her praise. He had been subtly trying to do things that would earn him kind words.</p><p>He had started by toeing his dirty shoes off at the door after entering the house. After weeks of arguments about Tommy tracking mud across the floor, he had been practically bouncing in his chair that evening, waiting for Silk to notice. When Silk ultimately took too long to notice – by Tommy’s measure anyway -  he had dramatically asked Silk if she noticed anything different about the <em>floor</em>, or maybe the <em>hallway</em>. Once Silk had connected the dots she had burst out laughing, clutching at her knees as she wheezed. She had still been chuckling when she ruffled Tommy’s hair and thanked him, telling him <em>‘good work’</em> as he beamed at her.</p><p>Tommy had then slowly begun to help Silk out more and more – even with the <em>dishes</em> occasionally – until Silk was completely familiar with Tommy’s tentatively hopeful ‘<em>Please praise me’ </em>face.</p><p>Tommy had also taken this behaviour towards his combat. He would push himself, trying to perfect new things as quickly as possible in an attempt to show off. Every time he succeeded, after brazenly announcing himself ‘<em>the best’</em>, blue eyes would turn to Silk, hoping that she would agree. Most of the time she did. She would compliment his skills honestly, usually accompanied by lightly bumping his shoulder or ruffling his hair and Tommy would grin at her, practically vibrating at her words.</p><p>However, she didn’t coddle Tommy. She was never slow to correct Tommy, or chaste him if he was being reckless. Tommy bitched and moaned when she did this the first few times. He seemed to be bitterly disappointed that she hadn’t simply sung his praises like he had wanted her too. However, after a while, Tommy learnt to listen to what Silk said. He would nod attentively, blue eyes sharp as Silk commented on how he could improve.</p><p>Silk wandered after Tommy as she pondered on those memories. After running off, Tommy had slowed back down to an attentive stalk, clutching his bow tightly. It wasn’t long before Silk was back in front of the younger boy, treading lightly as to not disturb his focus.</p><p>With her own focus at its peak, Silk was quick to notice a small unusual sound floating over from…somewhere.</p><p>She continued on for a few seconds, her eyes darting over to Tommy rapidly, assessing whether he had noticed to noise.</p><p>He hadn’t.</p><p>“Stop.” Silk commanded abruptly, swinging her arm out to physically halt Tommy, but not looking at him.</p><p>She took a step forward, her boot planting firmly in the fallen leaves as her hand hovered over the hilt of her sword.</p><p>Unsheathing it in a swift motion, Silk gripped her sword and turned slowly in a circle, her eyes zeroed in on the thick forest. Silk was tense, ignoring Tommy’s onslaught of questions and straining her ears to focus on the smaller sounds emerging from the tree line.</p><p>
  <em>Something was…to the left? No. The right? Wait…</em>
</p><p>Silk paused.</p><p><em>Where</em>?</p><p>Silk looked in the corner of her eye. Tommy.</p><p><em>There</em>.</p><p>She reached towards Tommy and roughly grabbed the material of his shirt. She felt threads snap in her grip as she pulled, dragging Tommy forwards and throwing him behind her.</p><p>She drove her foot firmly into the zombie’s chest, the crack of its frail ribs resonating up her leg. It clawed at her leg mindlessly as it fell and Silk hissed, grinding her foot harder into its chest as it landed with a thump on the forest floor. Silk didn’t hesitate in thrusting her sword through its neck, a vicious jab like a viper striking, and watching as its body disappeared in a puff of smoke.</p><p>“<em>Be careful!”</em> She whirled around to face Tommy, her voice booming in the forest. She gestured to her ears in a dramatic motion. “You have to <em>listen</em>, Tommy. That thing was about to jump you from behind!”</p><p>Tommy shrank back from her, looking shocked, a barely audible ‘sorry’ falling from his lips.</p><p>Silk quickly turned away from Tommy, pressing her lips together. She felt guilt crawl up her spine and she bit back a sigh.</p><p>She hadn’t meant to get angry. Her heart was still hammering from panic, from <em>worry</em> for Tommy. Her outburst had been a poor way to express that feeling, she knew that. Adrenaline coursing through her had clouded that judgment.</p><p>Silk glanced at her now-filthy sword before swishing it through the air. The blood that fell from it made a small sound akin to rain as it splattered in an arc across the fallen leaves. Silk sheathed her sword back at her side as she twisted her leg to look at where the zombie had gotten her.</p><p>“It’s just a scratch. I’ll live.” She murmured to herself.</p><p>“Why do you do that?” Tommy asked suddenly.</p><p>Silk glanced over her shoulder, tucking her hair back into a ponytail. “Do what?”</p><p>“<em>That</em>. Me. I mean, Dream would basically let us do whatever we want here. You can do whatever you want. So why do you waste your time with…” Tommy trailed off and lamely gestured to himself.</p><p>“With you?” Silk arched an eyebrow.</p><p>“No, no!” Tommy waved his hand. “Just…like the stuff you do for me and shit.”</p><p><em>Protect me</em>. Is what Tommy meant. Silk could infer as much. She wasn’t surprised or offended that Tommy didn’t want to say the words out loud.</p><p>Silk shrugged. “Just how I was raised I guess.”</p><p>“Did you have lots of siblings?” Tommy questioned. Silk almost smiled at Tommy’s – likely unconscious – recognition of his ‘younger brother’ role.</p><p>“Something like that.” Silk murmured. Her brow creased at the question and she stared pensively into the woods.</p><p>Tommy scoffed. “When did you get so fucking cryptic?”</p><p>“I didn’t have any <em>blood</em> siblings.” Silk pursed her lips in a rueful smile, somewhat annoyed by Tommy’s pressing “Or any blood family that I knew of.”</p><p>Tommy’s eyebrows raised in shock and his lips parted slightly. “You’re…?”</p><p>“An orphan?” Silk raised an eyebrow back. She shrugged the tension from her shoulders and avoided Tommy’s gaze. She slapped a smile on her face and took on a light tone “Hell yeah, raised by wolves and all that shit.”<br/>
Tommy scoffed. “Yeah sure. How were you <em>actually</em> raised?”</p><p>“By other street kids.” Silk shrugged, her tone remaining causal in an attempt to lighten the serious topic. “We sort of banded together. Bunch of dirty thieves the lot of us.” Silk offered Tommy a crooked smile.</p><p>Tommy looked intrigued, leaning forward. “What was it like?”<br/>
“The streets?” –  Tommy nodded – “It wasn’t the worst thing I guess. You learnt to be light on your feet. How to fight. How to steal. Lots of life skills that kids with the luxury of <em>parents</em> don’t learn.”</p><p>“How to steal?” Tommy raised an eyebrow.</p><p>
  <em>Feet pounding pavement, exhilaration in her lungs, calloused fingers clutching stolen good, outraged cries fading behind her, high rooftops and –</em>
</p><p>Silk shook her head. “We stole what was necessary.” <em>Which was a lot</em>.</p><p>“I learnt most of my combat knowledge growing up.” Silk continued “There was no official war in my hometown. Just the usual us against them. But when the ‘them’ are a group of people a lot bigger and stronger than you, you have to learn to defend yourself somehow. After all, no one cares if a couple of street rats go missing.”</p><p>Silk felt a painful pang in her chest at the memories floating through her head. She shook her head roughly and glance back to Tommy.</p><p>“When you grow up on the streets you don’t have much to your name.” Silk told him “So you learn – you <em>fight</em> – to protect what’s yours. Whatever it takes”</p><p>“That included each other.” Silk explained. “A lot of kids looked after me growing up. Then, once I was older, I looked after a lot of other kids as they grew up.”</p><p>“So do I…remind you of those kids? Is that why you…” Tommy pieced her information together slowly, suddenly looking awkward. “Why you sort of…”</p><p>“Why I look after you?” Silk arched an eyebrow.</p><p>“I look after myself!” Tommy snapped back, but judging by his facial expression Silk had hit the nail on the head.</p><p>Silk gave Tommy a smile that was tinged with sadness. “It’s instinct for me, I guess.”</p><p>As Tommy looked to be considering this new information, a frown deepened on Silk’s face as she reflected on memories that she had left untouched for a long time. Seeming to notice this Tommy abruptly pointed a finger at her. “Stop being sad bitch!” He shouted, stunning Silk. “Sad people are boring, and if there’s one thing I hate in this world, aside from <em>men</em>, its people that are boring. <em>No one</em> is as awesome as me, but you could at least fuckin’ try.”</p><p>Silk let out a surprised laugh, the bad memories dissipating likes smoke in the wind. She raised an eyebrow at Tommy as he grinned, reaching into his bag. “See! It’s not sad bitch hours yet. Let’s do something fun”</p><p>“Should I be concerned about your definition of fun?” Silk questioned with a teasing grin.</p><p><em>Yes</em>.</p><p>The answer was clear to Silk as she noted the object in Tommy’s hands. Her face quickly fell and her stomach dropped.</p><p>Tommy presented the flint and steel to her with glee and nodded towards the trees. “Let’s blaze this shit!”</p><p>“Hey, hey. No, Tommy. <em>No</em>.” Silk spoke sternly, quickly striding towards Tommy and taking the object out of his hands</p><p>Tommy looked nervous at her sudden serious tone and his face dropped. “What? What? It’s okay isn’t it?”</p><p>Silk didn’t know how to explain to Tommy that it was <em>not</em> okay. That if she saw Tommy do something like that then she would have to…</p><p>A white smiley face flashed behind her eyes.</p><p>Silk shook her head <em>hard</em> and threw the flint and steel into the forest.</p><p>“No.” She fixed Tommy with a hard stare, before turning away. “Let just go home Tommy.”</p><p>Tommy reluctantly trailed behind her without further protest. Silk didn’t often get serious with him, so she imagined her firm response had shocked him out of any argument.</p><p>Silk herself felt panicked. Her body felt too cold and she was unconsciously wringing her hands.</p><p><em>He didn’t do anything. </em>She told herself.<em> He </em>wanted<em> too, but I stopped him. If he didn’t actually </em>do<em> anything bad I don’t have to report it right? Surely? Dream doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t need to know.</em></p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t need to know</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, that late night trip had been the last time Tommy and Silk had spent any significant amount of time together.</p><p>Silk had been completely wrapped up in her work. As promised, Dream had supplied her with everything she had asked for. He had also gone as far as to build her a room – <em>The Room</em> – to experiment in. It had cages containing zombie villagers, bookshelves, brewing stands, and ceiling-high columns of barrels.</p><p>Since Dream had unveiled The Room to her, she had barely left.</p><p>Silk stayed in The Room from sunrise to sunset, barely sleeping, occasionally allowing herself to sleep during the day, before working again through the night.</p><p>She saw Tommy at least once a day, but usually not for very long. Silk would briefly talk to Tommy about what he had been up to, mentally noting his activities to later write down in a diary. Silk would desperately hope that her not-so-causal enquires wouldn’t come across too much like an integration. Luckily for her, Tommy was always more than happy to talk her ear off about his day-to-day misadventures.</p><p>The amount of time she spent in the library rapidly declined. Her every waking thought was consumed by new plans, new recipes, alterations she could make, a new combination she could mix, a different ingredient she could try because maybe <em>this</em> time it would work. Silk had quickly developed a permanent headache. If she had actually been spending any significant amount of time with anyone, that person might have worried about her health. After all, the only reason Silk even remembered to eat was because of Tommy.</p><p>Silk still cooked for Tommy each night, but times that they ate together were few and far between. They had gone from loud mealtimes together each night to Tommy coming home to a meal in a container and a note, ready for him to heat up and eat alone.</p><p>Maybe if Silk had been paying attention to anything except her project, she would have noticed the signs in Tommy.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Tommy asked her abruptly.</p><p>Silk paused, her open falling open in surprise. It was early evening and Silk had frozen, her left foot halfway into her boot.</p><p>Tommy had come home earlier than usual that day. He had looked excited when he saw Silk bouncing around the kitchen cooking their dinner. Silk had planned to take her dinner with her to The Room and continue with her research. The desire to stick to that plan niggled at her like an itch. However, after seeing the bright expression on Tommy’s face, Silk instead dished up the meal onto two plates and gestured towards the dining table with a smile.</p><p>They had sat eating together, whilst Tommy happily rattled on about his day, his stories complete with vivid facial expressions and hand actions. The atmosphere had been warm and light. Silk had sat resting her chin on her hands with a smile, happy to quietly listen to Tommy’s rambling even after they had finished eating.</p><p>Tommy had seemed content with their time together. He had even smiled at Silk brightly as he scrambled to help her with the dishes. That’s why Silk was surprised at Tommy’s sour tone, as she slowly withdrew her foot from her boot.</p><p>Tommy had never asked her any questions before.</p><p>“I just… have something I need to do Tommy. I’ll be back soon.” Silk brushed him off with a small smile. Silk couldn’t tell Tommy about The Room, or her project. Not only did she not want to get his hopes up, but it would inevitably beg the question of <em>where</em> exactly she had gotten all her supplies from.</p><p>“You won’t be though.” Tommy crossed his arms. “You’re never around anymore. You’re always leaving but you barely come back.”</p><p>“I see you everyday Tommy!” Silk objected, her brows creasing as she approached Tommy.</p><p>“Yeah, for like 15 minutes! And all you do is ask me questions!” Tommy argued, raising his voice slightly. “We don’t even eat dinner together anymore! Today was the first time in <em>ages</em>! You’re not even-!”</p><p>Tommy swallowed, lowering his voice, and looking away from Silk. “You’re not even here in…in the night when I wake up. You’re not there.”</p><p>Silk felt like she had been slapped. Guilt swirled in her chest. He was trying to mask it, but Silk could see hurt swimming in Tommy’s eyes. Tommy had been abandoned by every family member he had. When Silk suddenly became increasingly absent from his day-to-day life, it was only natural that he would conclude that she was trying to abandon him too. Her guilt felt like a rock in her stomach. Silk felt stupid for not realising that sooner.</p><p>“You’re…You’re right Tommy.” Silk nodded, speaking around the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy and I…I’ve been ignoring you. I’m really sorry.”</p><p>Tommy stared at her sceptically, scanning her face as if he didn’t buy her apology. After a few moments, Tommy must have found what he was searching for because he simply nodded at her, folding his arms. “You should be bitch.”</p><p>Silk let out a small laugh, shaking her head as a smile crept onto Tommy’s face. Tommy seems satisfied with the conclusion to their conversation, brightness returning to blue eyes and pale lips curving upwards.</p><p>“What have you been doing anyway?” Tommy asked casually.</p><p>Silk immediately hesitated at the question, averting her gaze from Tommy. Tommy’s face dropped.</p><p>“I’m…working on something Tommy.” Silk told him hesitantly. “I can’t tell you yet. I…I don’t want to disappoint you if it doesn’t work.”</p><p>“Sure.” Tommy’s words were bitter, his mouth twisting unpleasantly.</p><p>Silk felt a pang in her chest, and she resisted reaching out to Tommy. She could practically see his guard going up. His face shut down and he hunched into himself, blue eyes low and weary.</p><p>“I trust you Silk.” Tommy’s words felt like a knife being twisted in her gut. His face morphed from bitter to sad. His voice sounded small. “Why don’t you trust me?”</p><p>“Tommy…” Silk took an instinctive step towards him, a hand outstretched. Tommy’s words induced a sadness within her that felt like a physical ache. She was desperate to reach out to Tommy, to console him, but Tommy shrank away from her as she approached.</p><p>“Forget it.” Tommy muttered, heading towards the front door.</p><p>“Hey, Tommy wait! Why don’t we do something tonight?” Silk suggested, almost desperately, trying to plaster a smile on her face. “Just me and you? We can go hunting again or something!”</p><p>Tommy’s hand tightened on the door handle. He shook his head. “No. I’m busy.”</p><p>Tommy left.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>With the prospect of spending time with Tommy off the table, Silk reverted to her original plan.</p><p>She had locked herself in The Room, desperately hoping that throwing herself into this all-consuming project would distract her from the guilt that was lacing like tendrils around her mind.</p><p>The Room was big enough. Alongside the zombie villager cages, there was a vast work surface with several brewing stands. It was nothing fancy. The walls and floor were made of cobblestone. Thoughtfully placed lanterns lit up the space. A fire in the corner kept the area from being unbearably cold. Dream had made the room deep underground, partially to prevent it from being discovered and partially to provide natural soundproofing. Dream had left her every ingredient she had listed, as well as plenty of books and quills, in the multitude of barrels that lined the walls. Dream had even placed a bed in The Room, as if he had known she would be reluctant to leave its walls.</p><p>He had even given her a cow.</p><p>Dream seemed to have thought of everything.</p><p>Silk’s eyes drifted around the familiar space.</p><p>Her drafted ideas had begun to line the cobblestone walls like posters. Diagrams, recipes, ideas. Her hand ached from writing, crafting and brewing. She would experiment over and over again on the zombie villagers, writing her findings down with such haste that her black scrawl was barely legible.</p><p>She hadn’t been this focused on anything in a long time.</p><p>Her work wasn’t without its frustrations, however. Multiple times now, Silk had found herself curled up on the floor, face wet after something she had been <em>sure</em> would work had failed.</p><p>She sighed heavily as she pulled out <em>the</em> book. Despite the unorganised notes that were scattered haphazardly across The Room, she had been keeping the important stuff all in one place.</p><p>The word ‘<em>RESURRECTION</em>’ scribbled in bold on the book stared at her tauntingly. It had been printed there to highlight her goal, but it was starting to feel more like a reminder of her consistent failures.</p><p>Silk opened a barrel, her eyes scanning over the many potions she had spent hours and hours brewing. She grabbed a few and dumped them on to her work desk.</p><p>She had been experimenting with every potion combination she could think of. Weakness, harming, poison. Strength, regen, healing. Hell, she even started on the turtle master potions.</p><p>Nothing was working</p><p>“Okay, plan number…” Silk trailed off with a sigh, taking a sideways glance at her book to remind herself what number she was on.</p><p>It had barely been two weeks and she had already lost count.</p><p>Silk hung her head in her hands. She pushed her hands back across her hair, letting out a controlled breath.</p><p>“S’okay.” She muttered to herself pointlessly, folding her arms and resting her head on the table.</p><p>Her mind kept drifting back to Tommy. The hurt look in his eyes. The smile slipping from his face. The implications that she was abandoning him, just as everyone else had.</p><p>She couldn’t focus.</p><p>She was getting nowhere.</p><p>Even <em>without</em> the distraction of her fight with Tommy, she was getting nowhere.</p><p>She was frustrated.</p><p>Silk’s hands balled into fists and she felt the urge to kick something and just scream. No one would hear her down here. She could throw a <em>huge fucking tantrum</em> if she wanted to.</p><p>She sighed wearily.</p><p>She didn’t want to. It would solve nothing. She would just be left with the shame of acting like a petulant child afterwards.</p><p>“I’ve fucked this up.” Silk murmured to herself.</p><p>She had.</p><p>Silk threw her face into her hands and let out a loud dragged-out groan. “Oh <em>god</em>.”</p><p>Silk readjusted her skewed ponytail and cast a glance across the notes of her failed endeavours. “Fuck this.”</p><p>She needed to find Tommy.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t find Tommy.</p><p>She found herself back at the library after wandering around the Dream SMP for over an hour. She had stopped to check all the buildings and to ask every person that she passed.</p><p>Silk couldn’t find him.</p><p>Silk had the weary thought that Tommy did not want to be found.</p><p>Silk sighed and slumped into one of the sofas in the library’s main room. She pressed her palms into her eyes until she saw stars.</p><p>She still had a headache.</p><p><em>Maybe I should sleep for once</em>. Silk mused, staring at her now clasped hands in her lap. <em>Or maybe I should wait up for Tommy to come home.</em></p><p>Silk was leaning towards the latter but, with the sudden heaviness in her eyelids, she wasn’t sure if she would make it that long.</p><p>“Hi Silk.” An airy voice floated towards her and she glanced up.</p><p>Wilbur had materialised in front of her, gazing at her with his head tilted in a fashion that reminded her of a puppy. Wilbur was quick to move to beside her on the sofa, the red material not even dipping when he sat down.</p><p>Silk was surprised. Wilbur didn’t spend as much time here as Tommy. Mainly because he didn’t need to sleep. Wilbur usually only came to the library during the daytime or early evening, not wishing to disturb them at later times, when they could possibly be asleep.</p><p>Wilbur stared at her inquisitively, brown eyes running over her face.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Wilbur asked gently.</p><p>Silk paused, before nodding shakily, cold dread washing over her when she realised she was suddenly on the verge of tears at the question. She swallowed hard, blinking the brewing tears away and attempting a wobbly smile. “I’m okay Wilbur.”</p><p>Wilbur didn’t look convinced. His brow furrowed slightly. “You seem sad.” He noted softly. “You’re not often sad. I-I don’t have any blue on me, I didn’t think you’d be…”</p><p>Silk smiled softly at Wilbur. “I know. I’ll be fine though. It’s okay. I don’t need any Blue Wilbur. You don’t need to worry.”</p><p>“I think I should worry.” Wilbur spoke with an absent tone. “It’s good to have someone worry for you.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Silk agreed quietly. She paused. “I had a fight with Tommy.”</p><p>“What about?” Wilbur enquired.</p><p>“I’m…working on something. It’s a secret for now. So I couldn’t tell him what it was. I’m failing pretty miserably at it, so I’ve been sort of…absent. I let it consume me too much and I was ignoring Tommy because of that. He’s upset with me. He’s right to be upset with me” Silk admitted, staring hard at her hands.</p><p>Wilbur didn’t press her. He didn’t seem upset by her harbouring a secret. There were no hurled accusations of distrust, like there had been with Tommy. Wilbur just nodded intently, listening without judgement.</p><p>It was nice.</p><p>Wilbur was kind. Silk already knew that, but he was just so…<em>easy</em> to be around. She felt like she had been encased in a comfortable bubble, shielding her from the repercussions of outside problems. Wilbur’s soft eyes were so easy to get lost in. It was so easy to just lose her train of thought and let go of her worries. She felt her mind slipping slightly, retreating to somewhere warm and safe.</p><p>It would be okay. Wilbur’s eyes told her that. She didn’t need to worry.</p><p>Silk’s heartbeat felt like a comfortable hum, rather than the war drum it had been during previous interactions with Wilbur. That punch-to-the-gut intensity had levelled slightly this time, much to her relief, but there was still a thrumming beneath her skin. Her fingers still ached to reach out, to touch, to hold.</p><p>Silk felt that familiar burn in her fingertips to reach out to Wilbur again. She was tired. She was stressed. Her day had been long and painful. She didn’t want to resist anymore. She just wanted to…</p><p>Silk reached out and tentatively took Wilbur’s hand. He responded without hesitance, turning his palm over and allowing Silk to gently intertwine their fingers. Wilbur’s hand was soft. It felt exactly how she had remembered. Like a cloud. Like a pleasant memory of a touch rather than a touch that was happening in that moment. It felt like she was feeling his hand through a dense material, rather than on her bare skin.</p><p>Still, it was a comforting sensation.</p><p>No one else’s touch felt like Wilbur’s. It was an unusual feeling, unique to Wilbur that her brain now irrefutably associated with the wonderful electric feeling that her chest produced when Wilbur was round.</p><p>“Is this…okay?” Silk asked tentatively, gesturing toward their intertwined fingers.</p><p>Wilbur nodded softly. He squeezed her hand lightly. “It’s nice. I…I like it.”</p><p>Silk felt a blush heat up her face and she glanced away from Wilbur. “Yeah…me too.”<br/>
She felt like a dumb schoolgirl. Like a child blushing and stammering, struggling to get a word out in front of their crush. As much as her brain rejected the ridiculous notion, it did nothing to alleviate the lump in her throat and static in her head that occurred only around Wilbur.</p><p>“Sorry, I-I uh, I just find you…you know, comforting to be around. So I-uh didn’t really think, I sort of just…” Silk trailed off, gesturing lamely to their joined hands before using her free hand to hide her warming face.</p><p>A soft breeze whispered across her knuckles. Silk glanced over to see Wilbur tenderly dragging his thumb across them in a soothing motion. A wobbly smile was on his face and Silk’s heart skipped. “I…I’m glad you feel that way.”</p><p>Silk didn’t know what to do. She felt dumbstruck. The war drums were back and this was simultaneously a wonderfully tender and horribly awkward moment. She wasn’t usually one to be lost for words, unable to express her thoughts. It was like Wilbur’s eyes and Wilbur’s hand had just stolen her brain’s coherent functions, leaving her hopeless heart at the wheel to sink or swim.</p><p>Or <em>float</em> going by the airy feeling in her chest.</p><p>There <em>was</em> something going on between her and Wilbur. It was something unspoken. Something communicated only by lingering gazes and gentle touches. Late night talks and shared interests. Cooking meals together and brewing potions. Soft moments by the fireplace and in the alchemy room. An unseen thread curling around her and reaching…</p><p>There was no way Silk was the only one feeling like this in these moments. She couldn’t be.</p><p>Right?</p><p>Silk worried at her lip slightly. She rearranged their joined hands, letting out a sweet sigh at the sensation of Wilbur’s skin gently brushing against her own. “Do you…feel okay?” Silk asked awkwardly, staring at their connected hands rather than at Wilbur.</p><p>Wilbur nodded jerkily, he was also staring at their hands, a longing expression on his face. “I feel…good.” He told her. “I don’t know, I…but it’s good. Its…a feeling that happens around you.”</p><p>Wilbur clutched at his chest, his pale hand creasing the material of his yellow jumper. His eyes were wide, he was staring at Silk with an expression that made her heart flip. “I-It’s in my chest and I-I don’t know how to describe it but I…it…it feels good. I like it and I w-want…”</p><p>Wilbur trailed off, starting to play with a thread on his jumper. “I think it was something I felt when I was alive once…maybe.” he murmured. “I w-want…to feel it more.”</p><p>Silk felt stunned. Her heart was thundering like waves crashing on a shore. Fire trailed a path across her face and she was staring at Wilbur like a deer in headlights. Her grip on Wilbur’s hand tightened unconsciously and her body naturally shifted towards him. Silk had never excepted Wilbur to say anything like that. She didn’t know how to react. The stupid part of her brain was screaming with excitement and the logical part of her brain had abandoned ship altogether.</p><p>Wilbur was looking at her with wide nervous eyes and Silk imagined that, if he could, Wilbur would be blushing too.</p><p>Silk could barely choke out a pathetic <em>“That’s good”</em> before training her eyes on the dark wood floor, trying everything to calm her wild heart.</p><p>Silk felt dangerous words building up in her throat and she viciously bit them back. She couldn’t say <em>that</em>. It wasn’t right. Wilbur was…Wilbur wasn’t ready to hear that.</p><p>She didn’t want to overwhelm him. She knew that was an easy thing to do. There was a very fine line between things Wilbur was okay with and things that overwhelmed him. Silk felt that she had steered too close to that line one too many times already.</p><p>Silk quickly let go of Wilbur’s hand and reached up to her hair to remove her ponytail Her headache had abruptly reintroduced itself admits her internal turmoil and Silk imagined this may be due to the tight ponytail her hair had been scraped into all day.</p><p>It definitely wasn’t just that this was an excuse to take her attention away from Wilbur. <em>Not at all.</em></p><p>Dark brown hair tumbled down her shoulders, falling in gentle waves and delicately framing her face. Silk massaged her scalp with a groan, trying to rub away the tension there.</p><p>When she glanced back to Wilbur, he was staring at her with wide eyes.</p><p>He gently reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from Silk’s stunned face. The motion was so tender that Silk’s breath caught in her throat. Wilbur paused, studying her face for a moment with a small affectionate smile on his face.</p><p>“Pretty.” He murmured, his brown eyes soft and dark.</p><p>
  <em>Oh god. I’m going to have a fucking heart attack.</em>
</p><p>Wilbur cupped her face, his ghostly hands a whisper of a touch. His thumb glided across her cheekbone and he held her gaze intently.</p><p>Silk thought that if she held her breath any longer she would pass out.</p><p>For once, Silk was the one that was overwhelmed. Her heart felt like it was going to tear from her chest. Having Wilbur so close, looking at her like that, sent her emotions so haywire it was dizzying.</p><p>Abruptly, Silk jumped up from the sofa, tearing herself from Wilbur’s touch and looking anywhere but him.</p><p>“I-I need to go see Dream.” Silk stammered out, quickly rushing to collect her things.</p><p>She needed to get out.</p><p>“I forgot about it, but it’s uh important so I need to go right now. Sorry Wilbur, I’ll see you real soon, okay?” Silk threw the excuse over her shoulder as she was already walking towards the door.<br/>
Wilbur nodded in dazed agreement, looking bewildered as Silk threw on her coat and practically ran out into the night.</p><p>The cold night air was harsh against her flaming cheeks and Silk wrapped her coat tighter around her, letting out a breath that was visible in the low temperature. Silk walked at a brisk pace, quite literally running away from the situation in the hopes that the night-time would cool her racing mind. She felt like a total arsehole for just leaving Wilbur alone in that way, but she had been spooked by the intensity of her own reactions.</p><p>She didn’t want to say anything she would regret.</p><p>Silk let out a noise that was a dreadful cross between a groan and a squeal, shivering, shaking her head and stomping her foot like a madwoman.</p><p><em>Stupid stupid stupid. You are so fucking </em>stupid<em> Silk</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we go guys! Big Dream scene coming up next chapter! and also a very important plot scene (which is also a canonical event so I'm sure you can guess what it is ;) ) This chapter and the next chapter were originally supposed to be one chapter but it got SO long that I had to split it. Luckily this means I've already written a large chunk of the next chapter so hopefully I can get it out within the next week or so :)</p><p>As always kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism don't be afraid to let me know what you think! Especially since we are coming up the actual plot now I really want to know what my readers are thinking! Please also share this fic if you enjoy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. One Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello all here is the next chapter! This chapter is mainly Dream and Silk. I think its important to establish the nature of their relationship for later chapters. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS FIC IS 35K WORDS LONG ALREADY HONESTLY WTF.</p><p>Hope everyone enjoys, as usual, please let me know what you think I appreciate it so much! As always thank you so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter! Please keep them coming! :)</p><p>The Boring Stuff -<br/>I'm just going to pop this quick disclaimer at the start of every chapter - Feel absolutely free to share this, talk about it, post about it, honestly I encourage it! (not that I'm expecting anyone to this is really a just-in-case!) Obviously, please do so with credit so others can read this if they want and please no outright plagiarising on other sites! I know some authors are funny about the CC's finding their work - I honestly don't mind if they do, in fact I think that would be fantastic, so no need to worry about that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Silk grazed a light finger across the leather book in her hands as she walked.</p><p>She had handed a grand total of four diaries to Dream so far. This would be the fifth.</p><p>Silk was yet to report anything immediately to Dream. Nothing worthy of such an action had occurred yet.</p><p>Despite not knowing him well, pride glowed in her chest when she noted the capability in which Tubbo <em>seemed</em> to be leading the country. Silk had never seen the war-torn days of the Dream SMP and she hoped that with Tubbo as president she never would.</p><p>Silk glossed over her scribbled handwriting that adorned the diary’s pages. It was a very uneventful entry. Tommy hadn’t been up to much in the last few days.</p><p>Or maybe she just hadn’t been around to notice.</p><p>Silk occasionally omitted information from the diaries. Nothing important.</p><p>If she had talked Tommy out of something, she wouldn’t mention it. If Tommy talked about doing something, but didn’t go through with it, she didn’t mention it. If Tommy told her something personal, she wouldn’t mention it.</p><p>Most notably Tommy’s nightmares.</p><p>The concept of telling Dream about Tommy’s most vulnerable moments made her feel sick.</p><p>Silk had thought that Tommy’s nightmares had been getting better. However, it turned out that – as Tommy had painfully pointed out – Silk simply hadn’t been around long enough for Tommy to tell her about them.</p><p>Guilt was writhing around like a creature inside her. She tasted bile in her mouth and swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the sensation. Her fingers dug into soft leather and she blinked against the familiar pricking in her eyes.</p><p>She made a silent promise to herself that she would do whatever she had to, to mend things with Tommy. Even if that meant taking a break from researching Wilbur’s revival.</p><p>Tommy was now incredibly important to her too. She had to learn to balance herself between the two.</p><p>Upon her arrival, Silk immediately entered the castle, no longer stopping to consider if Dream would be around at this hour.</p><p>He always was.</p><p>It was as if he knew she was coming. Silk knew that, once she walked through the large wooden doors, Dream would be waiting on the other side, leisurely perched on the golden throne in the dimly lit room.</p><p>She was right.</p><p>Dream turned to look at her, one eyebrow raising slightly in surprise.</p><p>Bright moonlight streamed in through the high windows casting a silver glow across the room. It glinted in a menacing flash off the ceramic mask that was perched atop Dream’s hood. Emerald eyes followed her silently as she approached, dim lanterns casting twisting shadows of her figure across stone walls. Dream hummed a directionless tune, the noise reverberating around the empty throne room. As she approached, the echoing clicks of Silk’s boots accompanied Dream’s tune like the beat of a drum.</p><p><em>Oh, how in sync we are</em>. Silk thought sarcastically.</p><p>Silk wordlessly placed the book in her hands on the table before the throne. At some point, they had moved past the trivialities of <em>greetings</em>.</p><p>“You’re not due to give me another diary until tomorrow.” Dream stated, raising an eyebrow as he took the book from Silk.</p><p>“Yeah, well…I was in the area.” Silk muttered lamely.</p><p>Smooth lips quirked into a smirk at her obvious lie but he chose not to press her further. Dream did not speak further either, instead casting green eyes to the diary, flicking opening the book and scanning the first page. He continued his tuneless hum as he read, pressing a scarred finger lightly to his lips. Silk dragged her eyes across Dream’s high cheekbones, scanning each battle scar that adorned his face. As if he could feel her gaze, Dream flicked his eyes up. Dark green held her gaze. Dream dragged his finger across his bottom lip, slowly blinking at her with hooded eyes in a manner that reminded her of a cat.<br/>The predatory kind.</p><p>Silk felt a distinctive push and pull around Dream. Like they were constantly at war with each other, constantly challenging each other without even saying a word. They were always assessing each other, watching for the next move, trying to suss the other out first. Forever dancing around each other, both desperately clambering to be one step ahead of the other. Maybe it’s that they were too similar. Both too tense, too distrustful, both constantly waiting for the other to attack.</p><p>Silk didn’t like to think that she was in any way similar to Dream.</p><p>So maybe it was just her. Maybe she was too defensive. Maybe she was too instinctual.</p><p>But maybe she was right.</p><p>Despite her rejection of the concept that she and Dream were similar, Silk still felt <em>that</em> push and pull around Dream. It was the instinctual opposite of the pull she felt around Wilbur. There was a different kind of thread connecting her and Dream.</p><p>One that was twisted and taunt. One that wrapped itself around them recklessly in tangled knots. One that reverberated with their every movement, assessing, adapting, waiting for the other to do…something.</p><p>Every muscle in her body buzzed with tension when she was with Dream. Sometimes she felt that every word exchanged between them was nothing more than a thinly veiled threat.</p><p>And yet…</p><p>She had gradually grown comfortable with him. The tension in her muscles had quietened from a roar to a gentle hum, keeping her alert but no longer reacting to any immediate threat. Conversation flowed more naturally…sort of. It was borderline friendly, but mostly just less threatening. The push and pull had balanced each other out, leaving her senses floating a manageable distance away from Dream. The thread was less tense. Silk could still feel it connecting them, but the connection felt less dangerous than it had initially.</p><p>Maybe the time they had spent together was dulling her senses. Sort of like how you can’t smell the scent of your own home. She was so used to her instincts screaming at her when she was around Dream, that she had learnt to ignore the noise in favour of other senses.</p><p>She had been ignoring the noise in that moment.</p><p>“Okay well…I’ll be going now.” Silk murmured awkwardly, beginning to gather her belongings. She realised that, as she had lost herself in thought about the man before her, Dream had finished her diary and the room had lapsed into uncomfortable silence.</p><p>“No.” Dream spoke almost immediately, shutting the book in one hand with a loud <em>snap</em>. “Stay.”</p><p>Silk made a small sound of surprise and she blinked dumbly at Dream.</p><p>“You’re here because you’re running away from something, aren’t you? Is that something going to be gone if you leave now?” Green eyes surveyed her, watching for her reaction to evaluate if he had guessed right.</p><p>He had. Of course, he had. Silk supposed she should stop being impressed at Dream’s skills of deduction.</p><p>She had quickly learnt that no matter what she was doing Dream would see through her. Dream seemed to have one watchful eye over everything at all times. This concept made Silk wonder why he needed her to report on Tommy.</p><p>It also made her wonder if Dream knew she was omitting information from her diary.</p><p>“Do you want me to stay?” Silk asked as she placed her things back down.</p><p>Dream shrugged, murmuring ‘<em>not particularly’</em> in a non-committal fashion. Silk tilted her head in thought.</p><p>Dream was lying.</p><p>She knew Dream was lying. She could tell from the lilt in his voice and his straying gaze. She didn’t know <em>why</em> Dream was lying. More specifically she didn’t know why Dream wanted her to stay.</p><p>His request surprised her, but it hasn’t been the first time Dream had coaxed her into remaining in the castle beyond simply handing him her diary. It was however, the first time he had directly asked her to stay. Usually, he would casually continue their conversation, throwing questions and conversational topics in her direction until their mere minutes together turned into hours. They would gradually grow more tired, eventually regressing to being sat cross-legged on the stone flooring like children at a sleepover.</p><p>One night, when the silver moon had been high in the sky and the castle eerily silent, Dream had asked her a question.</p><p>“Would you burn the world to the ground if I asked you to?” The question had been asked in a soft causal tone, contrasting the depth of his words. His voice had carried in the empty room, the words echoing in Silk’s ears, gliding across her mind. There had been no hint of sarcasm in his words. Dream was serious.</p><p>
  <em>Would you burn the world to the ground if I asked you to?</em>
</p><p>Silk had leant forward and rested her chin on her hands. She had quirked an eyebrow at him, a teasing smile playing on her lips as she considered the question. “That’s a bit intense don’t you think?” Her voice had been smooth and low, her brown eyes dark in the ill-lit room.</p><p>“I would.” Dream had told her. “If George asked me to.”</p><p>Silk hummed in thought, dancing her fingers lightly across the table.</p><p>“Because he’s the King?” Silk cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>“No.” Dream denied but did not elaborate further.</p><p>“Well, I hope you don’t think that how you feel about George is the same as how I feel about you?” A mocking smile had graced Silk’s face as she watched Dream roll his eyes.</p><p>“No, but I assume that’s how you feel about Wilbur?”</p><p>Silk blanched. Her hand froze and she abruptly found herself eyeing Dream sceptically. The teasing lilt had evaporated from her voice. “What about Wilbur?”</p><p>Dream scoffed. “What? Did you really think I wouldn’t connect the dots? Do you think I’m an idiot?”</p><p>Silk rolled her eyes, pointedly choosing not to answer the latter question. “And if I do? Feel that way about Wilbur, I mean.”</p><p>Dream shrugged. He looked away. “I suppose it’s just…useful to know.”</p><p>“Aw, do you want to sit and exchange gossip about our crushes Dream?” Silk had forcefully brought back her teasing demeanour, hoping to save face after Dream had caught her off guard.</p><p>Dream had rolled his eyes and snapped at her to <em>shut up</em>, his green eyes trailing to a window as he descended into his own thoughts.</p><p>As Silk reflected on that memory, clear thoughts began to line up in her head.</p><p>“You don’t have any friends, do you.” Silk concluded abruptly. “I’ve connected the two dots.”</p><p>Dream didn’t laugh in the way he usually did when she made blunt statements. Instead, his shoulders tensed and he turned his back to her. “You didn’t connect shit.”</p><p>“I’ve connected them.” Silk insisted folding her arms.</p><p>Dream huffed in annoyance, throwing a glare over his shoulder. He dragged a hand across his face, humming to himself. There was a pause. “I used to”</p><p>“And…?” Silk raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“They got in the way.” Dream answered bluntly.</p><p><em>Fuckin’ liar.</em> Silk thought to herself.</p><p>She had seen how he behaved around George.</p><p>She knew Dream had the ability to care for people. If he had had friends once upon a time, Silk doubted that he would have cast them aside in the manner he was trying to portray.</p><p>Maybe he had been trying to protect them.</p><p>“Makes sense.” Silk lied easily with a shrug.</p><p>“How so?” Dream queried</p><p>“You asked me to stay. I don’t see any reason for that aside from you wanting company. But why would you seek company from someone who has explicitly said they don’t like or trust you?” Silk shrugged. Dream eyed her sceptically waiting for her to continue. “Simple. You don’t have other options.”</p><p>“Sure, you could <em>make</em> someone spend time with you, but under what guise?” Silk continued. “I was already here. You have our deal as an excuse. <em>That</em> makes sense.”</p><p>Dream arched an eyebrow, looking somewhat impressed with Silk’s deduction. He opened his mouth, likely to refute her deduction, but Silk spoke over him.</p><p>“What <em>doesn’t</em> make sense is why you’re not spending time with someone like George instead.  I mean he’s your…” Silk raised her thoughts with a softer tone, trailing off as she realised, she didn’t really know what Dreams relationship with George was.</p><p>“He’s not just the King to you, is he.” Silk didn’t phrase her words as a question. She knew she was right.</p><p>Dream shook his head, the action so small she easily could have missed it.</p><p>“George is…George is different. He’s…not like everyone else.” Dream murmured.</p><p>For the first time, Silk saw Dream’s broad shoulders relax. His features morphed into a slightly softer expression, even as his brow furrowed.</p><p>“He’s not expendable to you?” Silk gently suggested her conclusion.</p><p>“Maybe.” Dream’s voice was quiet. It was jarringly different from his normal tone.</p><p>He felt less threatening in that moment. He felt more…human.</p><p>George made him more human, Silk was sure of it.</p><p>Silk had seen Dream with George before. Only in brief moments of hushed whispers, but she had seen how Dream’s demeanour changed.</p><p>She had stumbled across them in doorways, dimly lit archways, back corners of large rooms.</p><p>They were always close. Dream would tower over the King in stature and presence. The King didn’t seem to mind.</p><p>They would whisper to each other. Murmured words that were too soft for Silk to pick up. On one occasion George had said something that made Dream lean closer with an enthralled look in his eyes. George had placed a gentled hand on Dream’s chest. To push him away or entice him further, Silk wasn’t sure. An easy smile had graced Dream’s face. A soft tender-eyed expression that he reserved for George. He had reached out and affectionately dragged his thumb across the shorter man’s cheekbone. An action that looked equally thoughtless and deliberate. Like Dream was preparing to touch shattered glass, but had done so a thousand times before. Dream had leant in close, soft words rolling from bruised lips, sweet nothings for the King’s ears only. Silk could infer the tone of Dream’s words from the delicate blush that had dusted the King’s cheeks and the way George’s eyes lowered as he leant into Dream’s palm.</p><p>The few times Silk had interrupted them, Dream had always done the same thing.</p><p>He would step in front of George, his body shielding the smaller man from view. The action suggested Dream felt that a mere look from Silk could have harmed the King.</p><p>Or maybe Dream just hadn’t wanted anyone else to see the pink cheeks and flustered expression that was scribbled across George’s face.</p><p>Dream would quickly usher George from the room, before returning with a face as emotionless as his signature ceramic mask.</p><p>Silk couldn’t identify any cracks in his expression, but she knew they were there.</p><p>“Is he different because you love him?” Silk asked, reflecting on her observations.</p><p>The tension was immediately back in Dream shoulders and his green eyes hardened. “None of your business.” He snapped.</p><p>“Aw, do feelings scare you Dream?” The words rolled off Silk’s tongue with a teasing lilt.</p><p>Dream huffed, shooting her a glare. “No. I’m just not going to discuss this with you.”</p><p>When Silk enquired ‘<em>Why?</em>’, Dream shifted his gaze away from her. “Show no weaknesses to your enemy.”</p><p>Silk wanted to scoff. She wanted to laugh and point out that that sentence alone told her that George was a weakness for him. She wanted to smirk as she made Dream feel stupid and lorded this accidental admission over his head.</p><p>But instead she…<br/>“Am I your enemy?” Silk asked softly</p><p>“You might be.” Dream answered. “If not now, then one day.”</p><p>Dream’s answer made Silk feel sad somehow.</p><p>Silk still didn’t like Dream. She had come to accept him as a partner, but their trust was fragile. Silk shouldn’t have felt a thing at the suggestion that they may one day become enemies. That outcome felt like an inevitability in the back of her mind.</p><p>Silk knew the concept of the pair of them becoming enemies wasn’t what had caused the wave of sadness washing over her mind.</p><p>It was the idea that Dream saw everyone he had a relationship with – good or bad, a friend or an acquaintance – as someone that could or <em>would</em> one day be his enemy.</p><p>Empathy was sewn deep into her heart and it ached at the sight of such a sad existence.</p><p>“If I’m to be your enemy, why do you talk with me like this?” Silk asked lowly.</p><p>“Well, we have our deal…” Dream shrugged with a forcefully casual tone.</p><p>“But that’s just a guise” Silk retorted.</p><p>Dream laughed lightly. Disbelief laced through the sound, as if Dream were surprised that Silk had called him out. Again. He leant forward and rested on his clasped hands. “You interest me.”</p><p>Silk raised an eyebrow. “How so?”</p><p>“I’m the one who invited you here. I’m the one in charge of this land…and yet you don’t seem to feel any loyalty or duty towards me, beyond what I can do the benefit you.” Dream explained. “Usually there would be…something there. Even if it was nothing more than gratitude.”</p><p>“It’s hard to feel loyalty for someone you don’t like or trust.” Silk answered honestly. Dream had said himself that was the best policy after all. “I suppose I’m comfortable in being your ‘partner’ in regards to our arrangement, but…”</p><p>Silk thought back to her childhood. The dirty streets of a corrupt country. Corruption that was the fruit of seeds sown by a selfish and foolish ruler. A ruler she was then expected to feel duty, feel <em>loyalty</em> to.</p><p>The idea disgusted her.</p><p>That someone can do no good but somehow be worthy of <em>loyalty,</em> simply because they wave around the title of ‘Ruler’.</p><p>Power would never automatically win her respect. Neither would lavish favours. Her respect, her gratitude, her <em>loyalty</em> was well reserved and hard earnt. The only exception was temporary <em>faux</em> loyalty to those that might benefit her. Or those to which she was indebted.</p><p>“I guess you could say I have a natural distrust of those with too much power. You have my loyalty within the terms of our agreement, but you have not earnt it. I was upfront with you about how I felt about you when we made our agreement. Not much has changed.”</p><p>“You wound me.” Dream pouted sarcastically. “I thought we were <em>friends</em> now Silkoline.”</p><p>“I thought you didn’t have any friends?” Silk shot back.</p><p>Dream murmured a quick ‘<em>Touché</em>’, before pausing. He seemed to be considering his next words.</p><p>“Do you hate me?”</p><p>Silk’s eyebrows raised. She was surprised Dream would ask such a thing. She wondered what he would do if she said ‘<em>yes’</em>.</p><p>“No” She answered honestly. “Not now, but I might do one day.” She echoed Dream’s words back to him</p><p>A smile danced across Dream’s face in recognition of this. He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head lightly. “Another interesting answer from and interesting woman.”</p><p>There was a pregnant pause, before Dream sighed and raised himself from the throne. “You should go. We’ve talked enough for today.”<br/>Silk nodded silently. She was surprised Dream had ended their conversation so abruptly, but she could see from Dream’s expression that important thoughts were weighing on his mind.</p><p>Dream casually waved her off, heading in the opposite direction towards the back door of the throne room. Silk hesitated as she reached the door, her hand hovering over the thick wood. The atmosphere they had left was heavy. She wanted some way to…</p><p>“Are you off to your own chamber, or the King’s?” Silk called out with a teasing grin, her gentle voice echoing across the empty room.</p><p>Dream paused and looked over his shoulder. A smile flitted briefly across his face. It was more genuine than any she had seen on him before. “I said it’s none of your business didn’t I?”</p><p>However, a serious expression quickly replaced the smile.</p><p>“Get some rest Silkoline.” Dream told her. “I have the feeling tomorrow is going to be a big day.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The next day she got word that George’s – <em>King</em> George’s – house had been burnt down.</p><p>Silk’s heart sunk to her stomach.</p><p>Tommy had come home that morning on a high, a big grin on his face. He had pointedly refused to tell her what he had been doing the night before, his face souring when she tried to press him.</p><p>Dread settled into her bones and she immediately ran back to the library from where she had been, not stopping to acknowledge any of the people she passed. The wind rushing past her ears was drowned out by the drumming of her panicked heartbeat.</p><p>Her heart almost stopped when she reached L’Manberg.</p><p>Obsidian walls. Obsidian walls surrounded the whole of L’Manberg.</p><p>Fear crept up her spine.</p><p>
  <em>Tommy, what have you done?</em>
</p><p>“<em>What did you do?!”</em> Silk shouted flinging open Tommy’s door once she had reached their home.</p><p>Tommy looked startled at first, flinching and raising his arms, but his face quickly transformed into something defensive. “I didn’t do shit.” He muttered, brows creasing.</p><p>“You call burning the King’s house down ‘not doing shit?’” Silk hissed, striding towards Tommy.</p><p>Tommy jumped up to meet her head on, crossing his arms. “It wasn’t me! Whatever they said it wasn’t me! Gogy’s eyes don’t even work how would he know who’s responsible?” Tommy offered her a grin trying to joke his way out of her anger</p><p>“This isn’t funny Tommy!” Silk maintained her anger, this clearly surprising Tommy.</p><p>“Why do you think it was me?” Tommy protested. “Does this look like something I would do?”</p><p>“Yes!” Silk cried incredulously, gesturing wildly. “Yes, Tommy it does! It’s exactly something you’d do!”</p><p>Disappoint swirled in her chest like a storm. Her hands curled into fists. She <em>knew</em> Tommy had done this.</p><p>She just didn’t know what that meant for him once <em>Dream</em> knew he had done this.</p><p>“What were you doing last night?” Silk folded her arms.</p><p>Tommy shrugged, muttering at her “I dunno. Talking to girls. Doing drugs. Being <em>awesome</em>. The shit I usually do.”</p><p>Silk sucked in a shuddering breath. She desperately tried to quell the flames of her anger. She mentally put a pin in the fact that Tommy had just listed fucking <em>drugs</em> as a past time, choosing to focus on one issue at a time.</p><p>“So. You didn’t go anywhere near King George’s house?” Silk pressed, raising a doubtful eyebrow.</p><p>Tommy shifted his gaze from her guiltily. “I…I may have been in the area.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh Christ.</em>
</p><p>“Doing <em>what</em>?” Silk gritted her teeth.</p><p>Tommy shifted his gaze around nervously, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. Silk could see the cogs turning in Tommy’s head as he rapidly tried to come up with a convincing lie. Silk felt her anger rising like hot air with each second of silence.</p><p>“It was Nihachu!” Tommy declared suddenly. “I was there, I saw her! I always knew she was a wrongun-“</p><p>“<em>Don’t lie to me</em>!” Silk boomed. She had had enough of Tommy. Anger swirled in her chest, but it was nothing compared to the worry that twisting like a knife in her gut. She had to report this to Dream. She couldn’t <em>not</em> tell Dream. She <em>knew</em> Tommy had done this.</p><p>Anxiety about what this meant for Tommy was eating away at her like a parasite.</p><p>“I’m trying to <em>protect</em> you Tommy, but you’re making it so fucking difficult!” Silk exasperated.</p><p>“I don’t need you to protect me!” Tommy snapped back.</p><p>Silk straightened up. She narrowed her eyes at Tommy. “Fine. So be it.”</p><p>Tommy then seemed to panic at her icy glare. Silk knew she had never looked at Tommy like that before. Her brown eyes were cold, her face impassive as she looked down on Tommy. Tommy’s blue eyes darted across her face rapidly, panic creeping into his gaze as he took in her abruptly unfamiliar expression. Tommy’s tongue darted quickly across his lips, his eyes drifting to the ceiling. Silk watched silently as he tried to come up with something, anything, to say to make his situation better.</p><p>“Silk, and I mean this – It wasn’t me” Tommy looked worried, hold his hands up in a placating motion.</p><p>“I wish I could believe you Tommy,” Silk shook her head sadly, staring at Tommy in disbelief. “but I don’t.”</p><p>“Okay…” Tommy sighed, averting his eyes. “Okay. So. <em>Maybe</em> I had something to do with it.”</p><p>“<em>Why </em>Tommy?!” She clutched at Tommy’s shoulders, her fingers digging in harshly as dread hung over her like a cloud. “Why would you do that?!”</p><p>“I was bored.” Tommy muttered, shrugged off her grip. “I like to rob shit when I’m bored. It’s fun.”</p><p>Silk almost began to scream at him about ‘<em>how could he </em>possibly<em> think that that is fun?</em>’ About how normal sixteen-year-olds pulled little pranks with their friends for fun, they didn’t commit <em>crimes</em>.</p><p>But Tommy wasn’t a normal sixteen-year-old.</p><p>Tommy didn’t get to have the normal childhood he had wanted with Tubbo. He had lost that. He had been fighting in wars since a young age. Battles and war crimes had been normalised for him. Tommy had grown so used to a violent way of living that he couldn’t see how his actions could potentially end up having severe consequences.</p><p>“Tommy <em>please</em>. You can’t do shit like that.” Silk begged, desperately trying to get through to him. “You just can’t. Not anymore.”</p><p>“You used to steal! You told me!” Tommy accused.</p><p>Silk bristled. Her posture stiffened. Her glare became harsh. Tommy took a step back and Silk saw in Tommy’s face the exact second that he realised that that had been the <em>wrong</em> thing to say.</p><p>“I stole to <em>survive,</em> Tommy!” Silk shouted. Silk was stunned and enraged that Tommy had brought that up. Although he was an immature sixteen-year-old, he was old enough to know the vast difference between the two situations.</p><p>“Is <em>this</em> not enough for you?!” Silk gestured wildly to the home she had built with her own hands “Is this not enough for you to survive?! Is there something more you need? Something that you need to <em>steal</em>? Because tell me what it is and I will get it for you.”</p><p>Tommy was silent.</p><p>Silk gripped Tommy’s shoulders and harshly bit back tears, searching Tommy’s blue eyes for any signs of remorse or understanding. “I’ll get you whatever you need Tommy.”</p><p>Tommy dropped his gaze to the floor, looking somewhat ashamed for the first time in their conversation. He chewed at his lip and wrung his hands. “You don’t need to do anything Silk. It’s enough.”</p><p>Silk let out a shaky breath, her body still feeling tense from the rampage of emotions that had coursed through her body.</p><p>“I’m sorry Silk.” Tommy looked at her, his blue eyes sincere. “I mean it. I won’t do it again.”</p><p>Silk wanted to accept Tommy’s apology. She wanted to hug the younger boy tightly and tell him it was okay. She wanted to run a gentle hand through soft blonde hair again as he told her animated stories about his day. She wanted to sit down to eat with him again or go out on another hunt, like nothing had happened.</p><p>But disappointment and worry had left a bitter taste in her mouth, making her feel sick.</p><p>“I’m worried it’s too late for that promise Tommy.” Silk murmured, taking a step back from the younger boy. “What about when Dream finds out?”</p><p>“He won’t find ou-“</p><p>“<em>He will find out Tommy</em>” Silk cut him off harshly. She softened her tone, moving her eyes to the window, her gaze falling of dark walls. “I think he already knows.”</p><p>Tommy looked worried at the certainty in Silk’s tone and he began to ramble. “I mean it will be fine won’t it? It will be fine right? What the worst Dream can do? It’s just <em>Gogy</em>, he won’t care surely? They won’t know it was me! It will be fine, right Silk?”</p><p>Silk shook her head lightly, pressing her lips together. “I don’t know.” She whispered.</p><p>Silk was telling the truth. She didn’t know what would happen. This was the first major incident that had occurred since she had arrived at the Dream SMP. She was yet to experience first hand how Dream dealt with this kind of situation. However, from the stories she had been told, she could infer that the outcome would be nothing good.</p><p>Fear was growing in blue eyes and Tommy grabbed Silks wrist seemingly without thought. “I mean you’ll protect me Silk, right ? It’ll be fine won’t it? You’ll be able to help?”</p><p>Silk glanced at Tommy and she could see Tommy shrink back from the disappointment swimming in her brown eyes. “I’ll do what I can”</p><p>“Have you been outside this morning?” Silk asked quietly.</p><p>Tommy shook his head, scrunching his nose up in confusion. Silk silently gestured towards their front door, and Tommy cautiously left the library.</p><p>“<em>What the fuck!”</em></p><p>Silk sighed and trailed after Tommy. Tommy was standing wide-eyed staring at the tall obsidian walls that encased L’Manberg.</p><p>“Why are there obsidian walls?!” Tommy whirled around towards Silk. He looked horrified, blue eyes large and…scared. Silk could feel the anxiety rolling off Tommy, it was almost palpable in the air. Silk forced herself not to reach out to Tommy. She couldn’t comfort him now. She couldn’t tell him that this was okay.</p><p>She couldn’t.</p><p>Silk simply raised an arched eyebrow at Tommy, remaining silent and letting Tommy connect the dots himself. Silk heard it when Tommy swallowed hard. “I need to go talk to Tubbo.”</p><p>“Yes. You do.” Silk quietly agreed.</p><p>And she needed to talk to Dream.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The grand hall was eerily silent when Silk arrived. Dream was stood staring out a window onto his land, with his hands clasped behind his back.</p><p>Dream didn’t even turn to look at her. “It was Tommy?”<br/>Silk sighed deeply. “It was Tommy.”</p><p>Silk knew that Dream would already be aware of what had happened. It was likely that Dream was the first person George had told. Besides, those obsidian walls didn’t appear from nowhere. Dream would have already had suspicions about who the culprit was. Her arrival only served to confirm them.</p><p>“I thought as much.” Dream still didn’t look at her. “You don’t have to report on Tommy’s actions for the next few days. I’ll be keeping an eye on him myself.”</p><p>Silk sighed heavily pinching the bridge of her nose. <em>Of course, you will be. This situation is far more than you can trust me with, I’m sure.</em></p><p>Dream paused. “You need enchantment levels, don’t you?”</p><p>Silk nodded, but her eyebrows creased in confusion.</p><p>She <em>did</em> need enchantment levels. Desperately. Experimenting with that area of alchemy was her next step, should her current endeavours fail. She also desperately wanted to upgrade her bow. It being her primary weapon, it was incredibly important to her that she worked toward obtaining the maximum enchantments on it.</p><p>However, enchantment levels were not something that Dream was able to give her. He had told her as much. They were also not something that was easy to obtain, each level being harder than the preceding one. Silk had had such little free time recently that she hadn’t even been able to think about working toward improving her enchantment levels. There was no quick or easy way to increase her enchantment levels – at least not in the area of the Dream SMP.</p><p>Dream <em>was</em> right, but Silk didn’t see how this was related to their conversation.</p><p>“There’s a village. About a day away from here. They can trade you bottles of enchanting. You can use those to quickly increase your levels. Trading will also increase your levels. I can provide you with emeralds to trade with them. There are a few mob spawners in that area also. It will be an easy way to increase your levels.” Dream explained. “You should go. A few days should be more than enough to get more than the levels you desire.”</p><p>Silk was startled.</p><p>Dream was…suggesting she <em>leave</em>?</p><p>Silk bristled. “No way Dream.” She immediately protested. “Not a chance in hell. Not when Tommy…when Tommy needs me m-!”</p><p>“I’m not making a suggestion for a nice vacation Silkoline.” Dream cut her off sternly. “This is an order.”</p><p>Silk was taken aback. She like Dream had stunned her. Wide brown eyes scanned over Dream’s stony expression.</p><p>She didn’t know what to say.</p><p>Dream…Dream had never ordered her before. Silk wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react.</p><p>Silk did not want to leave. Every part of her was screaming that now was the worst <em>possible</em> time to leave. The worst possible time to leave <em>Tommy</em>.</p><p>Would Tommy hate her?</p><p>Would he resent her for leaving him in his time of need?</p><p>Would he think she had abandoned him?</p><p>The last thing they had done was fight.</p><p>Silk had yelled at him.</p><p>Tears pricked at Silk’s eyes and she shuddered.</p><p>She didn’t want to leave.</p><p>However, as Dream had mentioned before, King George was just a figurehead. <em>Dream</em> was the real power behind this nation, and he had given her an order.</p><p>Was she even in a position to refuse without it being an outright act of treason? And if she refused, what would that mean for their deal?</p><p>Nothing had changed about Silk’s position. Much to her chagrin, she still <em>needed</em> Dream.</p><p>Dream did not need her.</p><p>There was a gaping power imbalance in their relationship no matter how hard Silk tried to ignore that fact.</p><p>Dream pulled all the strings, and she was simply a puppet.</p><p>She steeled herself with the resolve that she would fix things with Tommy the second she was back.</p><p>“How long?” Silk gritted her teeth, failing to keep resentment from seeping into her voice.</p><p>“As long as you need to gain the levels you need.” Dream told her. “I can see on your face that you don’t like this. I don’t expect you to, but at least be smart and use the opportunity I’m giving you.”</p><p>“When do I need to go?” Silk asked.</p><p>“Now, preferably.” Dream instructed her. “I’ll be holding an immediate meeting with the L’Manberg Cabinet. Leave before we’re finished.”</p><p>Silk let out a controlled breath. From what Dream was saying, she wasn’t even allowed to tell Tommy she was going. She was just going to...disappear.</p><p>Nothing about this sat right with her.</p><p>Silk felt the flames of her anger flickering to life again. Dream wasn’t an idiot. Dream knew that making her leave now, of all times, would damage her relationship with Tommy. He knew that making her leave meant she wouldn’t be there to <em>get in the way</em> of whatever he had planned for Tommy. He knew that making her leave meant she couldn’t <em>protect</em> Tommy.</p><p>He was doing this on purpose.</p><p>“I changed my mind.” Silk muttered quietly. “I do hate you.”</p><p>Dream didn’t look shocked or upset by her admission. He simply gave her a brief nod of acknowledgement, keeping his eyes trained on the middle distance of his land. “Looks like your ‘one day’ came around quicker than you thought.” He gave her a wry smile. He let out a breath, akin to a pensive sigh. “How long until my ‘one day’ comes to be, I wonder?”</p><p>
  <em>You might be my enemy. If not now, then one day.</em>
</p><p>Silk understood Dream more now.</p><p>“We might be close to your ‘one day’ too, Dream.” Silk herself didn’t know if she meant for the words to be bitter or sad.</p><p>Dream didn’t reply.</p><p>So, Silk left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we go guys! I’m actually pretty pleased with how this chapter turned out and the pace in which I managed to write it. I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on Dream and Silks dynamic. I just hope I described it how I imagine it well enough.</p><p>Its my birthday on Tuesday whoooop! Sadly that means I’m gonna be hella busy this weekend, I wont have much time to write so the next chapter might take me a bit longer to post. However, I am SO EXCITED for the next two chapters. We are bringing in ExiledInnit babyyyy. Ahh we’re really jumping into this shit now. Hope everyone is still enjoying! 😊</p><p>As always kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Please let me know what you think! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism don't be afraid to let me know what you think! Also feel free to ask me any questions if I haven’t made something clear or you want to know more! Especially since we are pretty much in the actual plot now I really want to know what my readers are thinking! Please also share this fic if you enjoy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I Still Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Helloooo I'm back again after two weeks! I have been so stupidly busy recently I have barely any free time to write so I'm actually quite pleased that I got this chapter out as soon as this lol<br/>Hope everyone enjoys, as usual, please let me know what you think I appreciate it so much! As always thank you so much to everyone that read/kudos/commented the last chapter! Please keep them coming and feel feel to share this fic if you're enjoying :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You did <em>what</em>?!”</p><p>A week later, Silk had returned to the Dream SMP.</p><p>She had taken Dream’s advice, albeit reluctantly. She now had more enchantments levels than she knew what to do with. She had spent the past week messily scribbling down idea after idea for different methods she could experiment with now that she had the appropriate levels.</p><p>She had also been able to max out her bow,</p><p>A pleased smile had crossed her face as she had adjusted her newly-maxed out bow in her hand for the first time. She could feel the magic soaked wood thrumming in her hands like a living thing. Her grip had tightened. Her skill level with a weapon like this…</p><p>Silk smirked.</p><p>However, upon her return to the Dream SMP any trace of a smile had evaporated from her face and outrage had laced her question.</p><p>Tubbo shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot before her. His face was sullen and he wouldn’t meet Silk’s eyes.</p><p>“Tommy…has been exiled from the Dream SMP.” Tubbo repeated himself hesitantly.</p><p>Silk’s jaw went slack. She blinked dumbly at Tubbo, horror creeping into her veins.</p><p>When she had returned to the library, Tommy hadn’t been there. His room, along with the rest of the library looked like it hadn’t been touched for days. She hadn’t been able to find Tommy anywhere.</p><p>So she found Tubbo instead.</p><p>To say Tubbo’s news was unwelcome would have been an understatement. Silk felt anxiety burst inside her chest like a writhing parasite. She felt sick.</p><p>“Why would you <em>do</em> that?!” Silk shouted at Tubbo, a barely constrained rage twisting her features.</p><p>Tubbo stepped back from her, looking scared. Silk immediately recognised this, quickly straightening herself up and masking her features into a calmer expression.</p><p><em>Tubbo is a child.</em> She reminded herself.</p><p>She took a deep breath.</p><p>“Tubbo.” She forced herself to soften her tone, momentarily stamping down her anger and concern. “Tell me what happened.”</p><p>Tubbo launched into an explanation about what had occurred whilst she was away. He told her about Dream’s ultimatum, about their meeting, how Tommy tried to threaten Dream, how Dream then built the walls higher, how Tubbo was backed into a corner.</p><p>“I tried! I tried to negotiate! But Tommy ruined it! I couldn’t do a thing!” Tubbo desperately explained to her, his blue eyes pleading with her to understand. “We had a plan! But Tommy just had to go do whatever he wanted. I told him it was a bad idea, but he wouldn’t listen! It was exile Tommy or start another war! What was I supposed to <em>do</em>?!”</p><p>“I don’t want another war Silk. I’m so tired of fighting.” Defeat laced through Tubbo’s small voice and Silk’s heart ached. Tubbo looked so small. He looked so tired. He looked like a <em>child</em>.</p><p>Sympathy for Tubbo echoed in Silk’s chest. A part of her longed to comfort the younger boy. To hold him tightly and assure him that she could help. She could support him. She could make sure he wasn’t put in this position again. She wanted to tell him that she understood. That there was nothing else he could have done. That he tried his best.</p><p>But Tommy’s face flashed behind her eyes. The silence of their library echoed in her ears. Anger licked a heated path across her spine.</p><p>There <em>was</em> something Tubbo could have done. Silk understood that he was sick of wars, but did Tubbo really exile his best friend without even <em>trying</em> to fight?</p><p>As someone willing to move heaven and earth for the sake of those she loved, Silk <em>didn’t</em> understand Tubbo’s decision.</p><p>Silk laid a firm hand on Tubbo’s shoulder. She kept her expression neutral. She couldn’t support Tubbo’s decision, but she could see the guilt was already weighing on the young boy. She didn’t intend to add to it. “It’s okay to pick your battles Tubbo, but some wars are worth waging.” Silk spoke quietly. She patted Tubbo’s shoulder gently, before turning away without another word.</p><p>She needed to see Dream and she had no intentions of being as calm with him.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>After unceremoniously bursting through the heavy oak doors, apathetic green eyes swung towards Silk.</p><p>Dream’s expression was bored as Silk strode towards him, anger crackling from her like electricity.</p><p>“Where is he?!” Silk shouted, grabbing Dream by the shoulders. Her nails pointlessly dug into thick armour.</p><p>“Exiled.” Dream’s answer was curt.</p><p>Dream’s tone burnt. It grated at her flesh like a flame.</p><p>Silk stared Dream down, his green eyes impassive.</p><p>“This was <em>not</em> what we agreed Dream.” Silk hissed</p><p>Dream shook her grip off, dragging his ice gold gaze across her. “You’re right its not.” Dream agreed. “We agreed that you would provide me with information about what Tommy was doing. What I then do with that information didn’t factor into our agreement.”</p><p>Silk tensed. Although Dream’s words were true, the urge to argue bit at her. What Dream did with her information <em>didn’t</em> factor into their agreement, but Silk knew that <em>Dream</em> knew she never would have entered the agreement if she thought any harm would come to Tommy as a result of it. Silk’s muscled were rigid, primed to fight if need be.</p><p>She forced herself to relax.</p><p>His stony glare told Silk enough. Her anger wasn’t going to convince Dream to reverse this decision.</p><p>Maybe pleading would.</p><p>“Dream! Can we not talk about this?” Silk cried desperately</p><p>Dream straightened his posture. His eyes swivelled towards her. Swivelled to look <em>down</em> at her.</p><p>“There’s nothing to talk about. Tubbo made the decision – the <em>correct</em> decision. Your input on this situation is of no value to me” Dream dismissed her.</p><p>Silk clenched her fists. She took a deep breath, realising that talking to Dream would resolve nothing.</p><p>“Fine. Then tell me where he is.” Silk demanded.</p><p>A slight smirk played at Dream’s lips. “I suppose I should have known that would be your response to this.”</p><p>“Where. Is. He.” Silk gritted out, taking a step towards Dream with each word. Silk tilted her chin upwards as Dream smirked down at her, their noses nearly touching.</p><p>“I’ll send you the coordinates. It shouldn’t be hard for you to find.” Dream shrugged casually, not stepping back from Silk’s advance.</p><p>Silk huffed and took a step back herself. “I want the coordinates with me in the next five minutes or I’ll just come back.”</p><p>“I’m a man of my word.” Dream teased lightly, throwing his hands up in a light shrug.</p><p>Silk sighed and headed towards the door. She had what she wanted from Dream. She didn’t think she could bare to spend another unnecessary second around him.</p><p>“Just so you know Silkoline. If you still want my help, then the terms of our deal remain unchanged.” Dream’s words floated towards her turned back.</p><p>That flame was back. Flickering and twisting across her.<br/>Silk desperately focused on quelling it. She still needed his help. “I understand.” She spat at Dream over her shoulder, slamming the heavy oak door in her wake.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>As promised, Silk had Tommy’s co-ordinates with her quickly after she had left Dream.</p><p>She hurried to pull a boat on the ocean and make her way towards Tommy’s location, guiding compass in hand.</p><p>It didn’t take her as long as she had expected. Only 20 minutes had passed when her boat knocked against the shore of a small beach.</p><p>Silk cautiously got out, grabbing her bag and surveying the area. A plains biome spread out in front of her. A small path carved out of dirt and wood twisted through the sparse trees. It led to a fort-like structure built from various type of stripped logs. Silk quietly approached the structure, stopping at its entrance to brush her fingers across a sign announcing the premise to be ‘<em>Logstedshire’. </em>Silk peeked inside.</p><p>The enclosed area was quaint. There were barrels for storage, a blue tent and half-cobblestone, half-dirt path leading to a small building. Silk scanned the area for any signs of movement. When she found none, Silk dragged her eyes back to the surrounding land. She crept along the dirt path, keeping her footsteps light and her ears pricked. After a moment Silk shook herself lightly. Silk straightened herself up. She had been silently creeping across the land. Her footsteps had been careful and her mind alert, falling into old habits of cation when exploring unfamiliar territory. Silk reminded herself that there was no need for caution. The only thing she was going to find here was…</p><p>Silk noticed a hunched over figure sitting by the tent.</p><p><em>Tommy</em>.</p><p>Silk’s legs moved without thinking. She was suddenly running towards Tommy, her pounding heart drowning out the wind rushing past her ears. She skidded to a halt a few feet away, drawing the attention of the younger boy.</p><p>Tommy stared at her, blue eyes wide and lips parting slightly in shock.</p><p>Silk stared back.</p><p>There was a brief moment where neither of them moved.</p><p>Then Tommy’s face screwed up and he looked away sullenly.</p><p>“<em>Tommy</em>.” Silk’s voice was barely above a whisper.</p><p>Tommy hugged his knees, turning his face away from her. “If you’re just here to pity me then you can fuck off.”</p><p>Silk dropped to her knees bedside Tommy, collapsing as though her legs had given out. She automatically raised her hands to reach out to Tommy, before curling them back in. She didn’t know what she’d do if Tommy rejected her touch. “No, Tommy. No. I’m so sorry. I’m here…I’m here for <em>you</em>, I…I didn’t know, I didn’t. I swear Tommy I-“</p><p>“Where were you?” Tommy bit out, staring at her with guarded eyes.</p><p>“Dream he…he asked me to leave. H-he ordered me so that I couldn’t say no. I was at a village a day or so away from here. But I-I…Tommy how long have you been here?” Silk breath was coming quicker as the pain in her chest only grew stronger. She patted lightly over the sharp feeling, as though that could soothe it.</p><p>“Three days.” Tommy murmured.</p><p>“Alone?”</p><p>“Ghostbur has been here. He built that for me.” Tommy gestured to the fort-like structure. “He doesn’t know I’m exiled. Dream told him it was a vacation.”</p><p>Silk gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. Tears began building in her eyes and she tried to no avail to blink them away. “Tommy I…I’m so sorry. If I’d known this is what he had planned then I never would have left, I would have fought him more Tommy I’m so <em>sorry</em> I-“Silk knew she was babbling. She knew she was repeating herself. Maybe some part of her though that if she apologised enough times Tommy would forgive her. That if she apologised enough times then the pain in her chest would ease.</p><p>“Stop apologising.” Tommy mumbled. He hugged his knees, biting slightly on the tip of his thumb.</p><p>Silk abruptly closed her mouth, staring at Tommy with weary eyes.</p><p>“You fucked up. You know you fucked up. Just don’t le…just don’t do that again.” Tommy told her. Tommy paused, before sighing. “It…it doesn’t matter anyway. That you weren’t there. You being there wouldn’t have made any difference in the end. Tubbo made his decision. You wouldn’t have had a say in it.”</p><p>Silk was stunned by Tommy’s passive words. She had excepted him to be angry with her. She expected him to curse and shout. Instead, Tommy seemed…subdued. His blue eyes were duller than she remembered and trained firmly on the grass beneath his feet. Silk noted that Tommy’s face was tired and smudged with dirt and his clothes were in a similar state.</p><p>Silk eyed Tommy sceptically. Alarm bells were gradually beginning to ring. She felt lost as to how to approach Tommy now.</p><p>“Tommy…” Silk’s voice was tentative, laced with a caution typically reserved for wild animals. “Let’s…let’s just get you cleaned up, yeah?”</p><p>Tommy nodded silently. Silk looked at him uneasily. Silk pulled a cloth from her bag and lightly wetted it. Tommy didn’t speak as Silk cupped his face and gently wiped the dirt from his face with the damp cloth. Silk carefully dragged the cloth across Tommy’s brow bone, occasionally tilting his head to reach under his jaw or near his hairline. Silk thought about the striking similarity between that moment and the first meaningful interaction she had had with Tommy. That night in the rain. Tommy had the same look on his face. His blue eyes were blank as they stared into the middle distance, barely acknowledging her touch on his skin.</p><p>Tension crawled across Silk’s shoulders. Something was wrong.</p><p>“Do…do you wanna talk about it?” Silk asked hesitantly</p><p>Tommy’s gaze shifted from the middle distance to his feet. He shook his head.</p><p>Silk frowned.</p><p>Her instincts were shouting at her to coddle Tommy. To hug him tightly and convince him to pour out his heart to her. To find a way to somehow magic his pain away.</p><p>However, Silk knew better than to push Tommy. She knew that if you took one unwelcome step forward, he would take five steps back.</p><p>So instead of swaddling him in a hug as she wanted to, after one last hard study of Tommy’s face, Silk stood up brushing the grass off her knees.</p><p>“Well!” Silk forced her voice to be chipper. “What do you want to do today?”</p><p>Tommy rose to his feet after her, staring at her hard. “You’re staying?”</p><p>Silk gave him a small smile. She risked reaching out and affectionately ruffling Tommy’s hair. She held back a sigh of relief when Tommy accepted the familiar touch. “You couldn’t get rid of me buddy.”</p><p>Tommy’s lips quirked up in a barely-there smile and he turned his head faking a huff of annoyance.</p><p>After that, Tommy was quick to begin ordering Silk about. He puffed out his chest as he told her that she was on <em>his</em> turf now <em>bitch</em>, and that ‘<em>what I say goes, got that?</em>’. Silk gave him an amused smirk and played along, nodded her head with an obedient ‘<em>of course Tommy.’</em> Tommy hurried around his tent, gathering his tools, and talking animatedly at her. He was quick to slip back into their usual dynamic, almost as if Silk <em>hadn’t</em> abandoned him for a week whilst he had been exiled. Silk resisted the urge to frown, taking a deep breath and deciding to leave it be for now. She could watch Tommy closely and go from there she assured herself.</p><p>Tommy explained that he needed iron for armour, but most importantly obsidian for an ender chest. Silk found it peculiar that Tommy had gone three days without obtaining enough iron to make armour but chose not to question the boy about this. Tommy proudly showed her the strip mine he had started, leading her down the simple stairs as though he were a tour guide.</p><p>The more Tommy talked, the more he started to seem like his usual self. Silk’s eyes fluttered shut briefly and it felt like they could have been sitting in the library in L’Manberg. At <em>home</em>.</p><p>Despite his usual attitude slowly returning, Tommy still had moments where he seemed to drift off. His tongue would trip over the word “Tub-“ as it slipped from his mouth, cutting himself off before he reached the next syllable. His eyes would squeeze shut briefly. Dull blue would stare back at her when they reopened. He would then turn to her and begin rambling about an entirely new topic, the previous conversation that had led his thoughts to the older boy being completely abandoned.</p><p>Silk never commented on it.</p><p>Silk tried to do what she had always done. Support Tommy from the side-lines. Tommy didn’t respond well to being babied or even to just being overtly helped. He would see any action of support that was too obvious as a direct challenge of his abilities. Or worse still, an action solely born out of <em>pity</em>. He had huffed at her offer to provide him with spare iron that she had. He had flat out rejected her idea to fetch an ender chest from the Dream SMP for him. He had told her his iron pickaxe was <em>‘just fine thanks</em>’ when she had suggested he use her spare netherite pick. Silk had eventually sighed in resignation after Tommy insisted that he could do everything himself without her ‘<em>pity’</em>.</p><p>So, if Silk snuck some of her own items into Tommy’s bag when he wasn’t looking, or if she used Wilbur’s pickaxe to mine and replace ores in places where Tommy would find them easier – only <em>if</em> she were to do those things of course – well then Tommy didn’t have to know about it.</p><p>The sun was setting on the ocean by the time the pair emerged from the mine. Silk unceremoniously dumped their haul into Tommy’s chest, before flopping onto the floor with a dramatic groan. “Christ, I haven’t worked that hard since I built the library.”</p><p>“Bet you haven’t worked that hard ever.” Silk turned to tease Tommy, referring to his tendency to steal his items rather than work for them.</p><p>Tommy gave her a guilty smile and huffed. “Yeah, well maybe working for stuff isn’t the worst thing ever. At least not when I have y-“<br/>Tommy cut himself off, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. Silk’s eyes softened and she leant up on her elbow to reach over to ruffle Tommy’s hair. <em>I hear you loud and clear buddy</em>.</p><p>Tommy shrugged her off with a huff, only a light dusting of pink across his cheeks betraying him.</p><p>Silk hid a smile, choosing not to tease Tommy about his traitorous blush. Instead, she forced herself to her feet again, turning to Tommy and enquiring about what he’d like for dinner.</p><p>An hour later, Tommy was tearing into a mishmash of cooked salmon and potatoes, the fire that they were cooked on still flickering between the pair. It wasn’t her most refined meal, but Tommy practically inhaled the dish as though it were. Silk smiled around her own mouthful of salmon.</p><p>Tommy let out a long whistle after he had polished off his plate. He gave her a toothy grin. He sat cross-legged on the tent floor, babbling away about nothing as he patiently waited for Silk to finish her meal.</p><p>“What do you want to do tomorrow Tommy?” Silk asked.</p><p>Tommy looked surprised for a moment. Blue blinked at her briefly. He hesitated, looking as though he wanted to ask her something, but eventually decided against it.</p><p>“I want…I want to build a path through the nether.” Tommy spoke quietly. “Logstedshire is hard to get to so that’s probably why no one is coming to visit. Maybe if…maybe if I made it really easy for them to get here, then they’ll come.”  </p><p>Silk’s face twisted into a frown. The previously delightful piece of fish turned sour in her mouth.</p><p>The Dream SMP had not been kind to Tommy. Although arguably a proportion of that unkindness <em>was</em> warranted due to Tommy’s actions.</p><p>However, Silk couldn’t understand how anyone could believe that Tommy was deserving of this. Totally isolated. Indisputably abandoned. Completely alone.</p><p>Anger burnt like a flame in her chest. How many people lived in the Dream SMP? Twenty? Thirty? The majority of whom hadn’t given Tommy’s absence a second thought.</p><p>Hell, they might even be glad for it.</p><p><em>Maybe</em> one or two people had been brave enough to show their faces to Tommy for <em>maybe</em> an hour, but essentially Tommy’s entire country had – almost literally – thrown him to the wolves.</p><p>It was cruel.</p><p>He had been abandoned. Left to sink or swim, only nobody cared which one happened.</p><p>Her blood began to boil. A slow simmer to precursor the tidal wave of hot rage that was building in her.</p><p>So maybe she was biased. Maybe the affection she held for Tommy was an unreasonable amount of gasoline being poured on a small angry flame.</p><p>Silk didn’t care.</p><p>She was angry. Furious in fact. Disgust swam like a poison inside her at the actions of her compatriots. She wanted to protect Tommy from them.</p><p>“We could leave here Tommy. If you wanted.” Silk spoke suddenly, voicing where her thoughts had led her. “I’ll take you somewhere else, somewhere away from here.”</p><p>“Your hometown?” Tommy asked quietly, not immediately rejecting her suggestion.</p><p>“No. Not there. I have a few other places in mind. Places where no one would try to hurt you.” Silk assured him, her grip tightening on her cutlery.</p><p>Tommy stared at the ground, seeming to be considering her proposition. Eventually, he slowly shook his head.</p><p>“I don’t want to run away. This isn’t forever. I <em>won’t</em> be here forever” Tommy spoke as though he were trying to convince himself as well as Silk. “There’s still…there’s still things here for me. I-…<em>L’Manberg</em>, I-I cant…I cant leave. I can’t. There’s still so much I need to do. This isn’t it for me Silk. It <em>isn’t</em>.”</p><p>Silk nodded softly. “That’s okay Tommy. It’s okay. We’ll stay. I’ll stay.”</p><p>Tommy looked hesitant again. His questioning gaze from earlier was back. “You’re…You’re staying?”</p><p>The fire flickered between them, casting writhing shadows across their faces. Silk gently placed her plate to the side. The warmth from the fire glided across her bare skin, contrasting the cool outside air wafting through the tent.  She leant heavily against the tent walls and stared out into the night.</p><p>“I’ll stay with you along as you want me to Tommy.” She promised.</p><p>Her words were said with a casual tone, but they felt heavy in the night air.</p><p>Tommy huffed and poked at the ground with a stick. “Go home.” He grumbled. “You have a home you can go back to. Why stay here with me? You’re not exiled.”<br/>“I don’t want you here anyway.” Tommy lied.</p><p>The corner of Silk’s mouth twitched upwards. She rested her arms on her drawn up knees. “Because Tommy, despite the endless list of your <em>many</em> irritating flaws,”</p><p>Tommy made an indignant noise.</p><p>“I still love you” Silk admitted. Tommy’s eyes widened and his lips parted slightly, his shoulders tensed slightly before he quickly averted his gaze. “I wouldn’t be able to be comfortable in L’Manberg, knowing you’re out here alone and unsafe.”</p><p>“I’m not unsafe” Tommy muttered. “I’m the most skilled person in this Nation bitch!”</p><p>Despite Tommy’s confident words, Silk could see him shrinking into himself. She shuffled closer to the younger boy and placed a soft hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s okay to be scared Tommy” Her voice took on a soothing tone. “But I’ll be here to help you I promise.”<br/>“I don’t need your fucking help!” Tommy practically growled at her, narrowing his eyes. “I don’t need anyone’s pity.”</p><p>Silk sighed and drew her hand away from Tommy. The two sat in heavy silence, the only sounds were of the fire crackling and crickets chirping softly in the grass.</p><p>Tommy shifted beside her, hugging his knees to his chest, and burying his face into them. There was a long pause, then…</p><p>“-o<em>ve you too…</em>” Silk could barely make out what Tommy had said. She leaned closer to him and made a questioning noise.</p><p>“I said I don’t fucking hate you!” Tommy exploded in her face.</p><p>Silk reared back in shock, but soon relaxed with a small smile on her face. Despite Tommy’s outburst, his pink cheeks illuminated by the firelight betrayed him. Silk reached out for Tommy, grasping him by the shirt and pulling him into a gentle hug. One arm wrapped firmly around his middle, the other softly smoothed down his blonde hair in a rhythmic fashion. For a few moments Tommy was frozen, and Silk imagined that he was going to push her away. However, Tommy’s hands eventually tightly gripped at Silk’s coat and he buried his head in her chest, hugging her back fiercely. His t-shirt was soft and his hair smelt like smoke due to the campfire. The hug was somewhat awkward due to the height difference, Tommy’s body had to bend slightly in a way that couldn’t have been that comfortable. Still, Tommy did not pull away, keeping his head in the enclosed space Silk had created for him. Silk felt a wave of content wash over her. Tommy was here. Tommy was right here with her where she could protect him. Silk swore to herself in that moment that she wouldn’t let Tommy feel alone. She would be there to protect him during their day-time adventures and to comfort him on dark nights. Silk continued to pat Tommy’s head and murmur comforting words into Tommy’s hair until the hands gripping her coat went lax and his breathing evened out.</p><p>Silk knew Tommy hated leaning on people. She guessed that Tommy would pretend this moment of vulnerability hadn’t happened and in the morning he would go back to his boisterous and unconstrained self. But for now, Tommy was asleep on her chest, expression peaceful. Silk hoped that he would sleep through the night and let his dreams give him some reprieve from his situation in the real world.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The following night, after a long day of working on the nether path, Tommy had practically kicked her out. Demanding that she go home to the library and sleep there. That she didn’t need to fuss over him. She didn’t need to suffer too.</p><p>Silk had been hesitant to leave. After seeing this, Tommy had doubled down on his insistence. Silk had reasoned with herself that this would present a good opportunity to continue working on Wilbur’s revival. Due to her involuntary trip, it had been over a week since she had even stepped foot inside The Room. Silk had hesitantly agreed to leave.</p><p>As Silk had stood before the nether portal, Tommy had begun to look unsure. “You are coming back though, right?” Tommy had checked with her</p><p>Silk’s heart ached and she had given Tommy a sad smile. “Of course I am, Tommy, I’ll be back as soon as I can be.”</p><p>Tommy’s voice had been so small Silk barely heard it. “You promise?”</p><p>Silk had taken two firm strides towards Tommy, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him close to her. She had hugged Tommy tightly, smiling softly when slender arms hugged her back hard. “I’ll be back before you know it Tommy. I promise.”</p><p>But after returning to the eerily empty library that night, Silk couldn’t sleep.</p><p>She had ended up travelling back through the nether in the late hours of the night. She crept back to Tommy’s tent, quietly zipping it closed behind her and carefully rekindling the dying fire.</p><p>She sighed quietly at the sight of Tommy’s sleeping face. He did not look peaceful. His brow was furrowed, his face twisting slightly as he wriggled in his sheets. Silk quickly moved to kneel beside his bed. She gently smoothed her hand rhythmically across Tommy’s hair, his blonde fringe quivering with every stroke. Silk kept the motion light, aiming to comfort Tommy, but not wake him. After a few passes of her hand, the creases in Tommy’s face slowly disappeared, as if Silk were rubbing them away. Tommy’s eyelids fluttered slightly, but he did not wake. Instead, he turned to his side unconsciously shifting into Silk’s touch. Tommy made a soft noise in his sleep. Silk smiled, a warm feeling blooming in her chest.</p><p>“Silk?” Wilbur’s voice floated to her out of the blue.</p><p>Silk bit down her cry of surprise, instead rapidly holding a finger to her lips and signalling for him to be quiet.</p><p><em>I hope that one day that will stop scaring the shit out of me.</em> Silk thought wearily.</p><p>Obentidently, Wilbur silently came to sit cross-legged beside her.</p><p>“I thought Tommy told you to go home?” Wilbur asked curiously.</p><p>“He mentioned that?” Silk enquired. Wilbur nodded. Silk sighed.</p><p>“He did. I couldn’t sleep. I worry about him.” Silk admitted, her soft gaze still on the now-peacefully sleeping boy before her.</p><p>“Tommy is lucky to have you.” Wilbur sounded wistful. “I d-dont always remember it well, but I know Tommy is my…he’s my brother. We grew up together. We started L’Manberg together and he…he’s always struggled. He says that he doesn’t, but Phil…<em>Dad</em>, never really looked out for him in the same way he did me and Techno. Tommy’s always been very…unguided.”</p><p>Wilbur’s words were not new information to her. She had heard all about Tommy’s upbringing, or lack thereof. She knew Tommy barely knew how to let himself be looked after. That he was so used to surviving by himself that he often didn’t know how to respond to someone caring for him. Although that certainly didn’t mean that the younger boy didn’t need to be cared for.</p><p>Tommy’s painfully obvious lack of parental guidance and care was a big part of Silk’s pull towards Tommy. She felt a desperate desire to fill that gap for him.</p><p>Wilbur’s words were nothing new, but they reignited that cold pang of sadness in her chest. However, despite her swirling thoughts about Tommy, she found herself saying…</p><p>“You have me too.” The words were pulled from her lips like they were caught on a line.</p><p>Wilbur’s eyes widened, the firelight glimmering across them. A blush bloomed across Silk’s face as she heard her own words spoken out loud. She studied Wilbur’s face, holding her breath as his lips parted slightly and he made a small noise of surprise.</p><p>A smile came to Wilbur’s face.</p><p>He carefully reached forwards, gently placing his hand over Silk’s. Silk automatically intertwined their fingers, a warm feeling spreading across her at the familiar weight. “Then I’m lucky too.”</p><p>Wilbur was looking at her with such affection that Silk fought the urge to look away.</p><p>Silk nodded, making a muffled non-committal noise. She didn’t trust her words at that moment.</p><p>Silk let them lapse into a comfortable silence. Silk focused on the crackling of the fire and the light breaths drifting from Tommy. Wilbur’s hand was a light weight in her own. She absent-mindedly dragged her thumb across the back of Wilbur’s hand. Wilbur felt more solid today. Silk knew his anchor to their world could fluctuate sometimes. Today Wilbur’s hand felt less cloud-like, but still light-weight and soft, sort of like…sort of like…like silk.</p><p>Silk bit down a smile.</p><p>She hummed softly to herself, her watchful gaze on Tommy faltering slightly as her eyes began to droop. She shook her head trying to wake herself up, trying and failing to stifle a yawn.</p><p>“You’re tired?” Wilbur asked quietly.</p><p>Silk nodded reluctantly, using her free hand to rub at her eyes. “Yeah. I probably wont sleep. If I lean on the bed it might disturb Tommy, but if I leave him I wont be able to sleep anyway.”</p><p>Wilbur let go of her hand to play with the threads of his sweater. Silk suppressed the mournful noise that tugged at her after the loss.</p><p>“You can…you can lean on me, if you’d like.” Wilbur offered, a sweater covered hand gradually rising to hide his face in a shy manner.</p><p>A shiver danced up Silk’s spine.</p><p>Red painted her face and she found herself twisting the threads of her own clothes, occupying her now empty hands.</p><p>“I-I mean…w-what about Tommy, he…” Silk stuttered a weak excuse, casting her gaze aside.</p><p>Wilbur’s fingers curled around her own again. He squeezed gently.</p><p>“You don’t need to worry. I’ll look after you.”  Wilbur’s voice was low, a smooth calming tone drifting across the night air. His brown eyes were dark, gazing at her with a restrained intensity that was begging her to trust him. Silks’ breath caught.</p><p>However, the look was blinked out of his eyes when they widened, as Wilbur seemed to realise what he had said. “Uh, l-look out for Tommy for you I mean.”</p><p>Silk nodded, quickly choosing to accept Wilbur’s correction. She shifted her shoulders and averted her gaze from Wilbur, focusing on a stray thread on her clothing.</p><p>They were awkward sometimes. Silk knew. They would go from perfectly comfortable and in tune with each other, to fumbling words and bashful glances the second one of them tip-toed over <em>that</em> line.</p><p>Even so…</p><p>Even if Wilbur made her feel decidedly off-centre. Even if she lost a bit of grace and decorum around him. Even if she went from a surefooted soldier to a clumsy child…</p><p>Wilbur’s hand burnt in her own.</p><p>It was a warmth she couldn’t get close enough to. For a being that didn’t produce body heat, Wilbur’s every touch sent shockwaves of heat coursing through her body. An electric current that ran up her spine and short-circuited her brain. That electric hum that lit up every fibre of her being. It fuelled that pull Silk felt towards Wilbur like fanning a flame. Silk didn’t think she could fight that pull anymore. She didn’t want to.</p><p>That’s why Silk gave Wilbur a tiny nod, turning back towards him. “Okay…if you’re sure you don’t mind. I’ll just…”<br/>“I don’t mind.” Wilbur’s voice was soft and his brown eyes were reassuring. He slowly raised his arms outwards, giving her a minute coaxing smile.</p><p>Silk leant forward, her head eventually bumping against Wilbur’s shoulder. Wilbur sucked in a breath and Silk’s heart fluttered nervously. Silk felt her cheeks heat up and she was grateful her face was hidden when Wilbur tentatively threaded his fingers into her hair, pressing her closer to him.</p><p>Wilbur’s other arm carefully wrapped around her shoulder. Silk let out a soft noise when Wilbur tightened his grip, the movement altering her careful balance and pushing her closer still.</p><p>The angle was awkward. Silk could already feel the strain in her lower back, but she was frozen, unable to move even if she wanted to.</p><p>She didn’t want to.</p><p>Silk sunk into Wilbur’s shoulder. His shoulder bone was hard against her forehead, albeit she imagined it was still softer than it would have been, had Wilbur been an entirely solid being. She carefully shifted her face away from the hard bone, turning it towards Wilbur’s neck and instinctively nuzzling her face into the empty space there. Silk let out a soft sigh, her breath gently ghosting across the surface of Wilbur’s neck.</p><p>Wilbur shivered. Silk blushed.</p><p>Her heart was pounding and the roaring heat in her face made her feel like she was going to explode.</p><p>Silk chose not to second guess herself when she brought her hands up and gripped at the material of Wilbur’s jumper, the soft material contrasting her desperate grip.</p><p>Wilbur let out a soft ‘<em>oh’</em> when Silk pulled him closer. The sound was pleasant, but surprised, catching in his throat and turning into a sigh at the end. The sound made her burn.</p><p>Silk wanted to hug him. Hug him tighter. She wanted to sit in his lap. Wrap her arms firmly around him. Bury her head in his neck. Clutch at the soft material of his familiar yellow jumper wherever she could reach and plead with him not to let go.</p><p>The thought was mortifying.</p><p>It was the sort of thought that she had been having more often, to her chagrin. It was the sort of thought that would keep her up at night. Late nights when she laid alone wrapped up in her bed. When the moon was bright in the sky and since she couldn’t sleep, all she could do was <em>think</em>. It was those late nights when she wondered what Wilbur stayed awake and thought about – and when she dared to wish that he thought about her.</p><p>“Your heart is beating fast.” Wilbur murmured.</p><p>Silk let out a small squeak, leaning back from Wilbur as mortification ran cold through her veins. It stopped short however, when Wilbur tenderly dragged the backs of his fingers across her cheek, his brown gaze caring and dark. “You wont be able to sleep if you’re heart rate is that fast. I promise I’ll look after Tommy, you can just relax and sleep now.”</p><p>Silk nodded, grateful that Wilbur thought her rapid heart was due to concern for Tommy, rather than her proximity to him. Silk took a deep breath. She nodded at Wilbur again with a shaky smile before resuming their previous position. <em>Just calm down Silk. Don’t let your sense run away with your thoughts. Just focus on something else. Anything else. Go to sleep. </em></p><p>The cold night breeze drifted under the tent’s cracks, ghosting across her skin in a chilled embrace. It was a nice distraction from the blazing warmth skipping across her body. Wilbur calmly danced his hands across her. He skimmed his hands across her back, down her arms, through her hair, in rhythmic barely-there touches.</p><p>Silk relaxed her body, leaning further into Wilbur, but putting less importance on this action than before.</p><p>The more she focused on sleep, the less Wilbur’s touches burnt. They became more soothing. Rather than a flame, his fingers felt like a water droplet causing ripples on a lake. Wilbur’s hands lingered on her skin everywhere he touched. The sensation stopped accelerating her heart, instead sending soothing waves across her.</p><p>As she slowly succumbed to sleep, Silk felt an unfamiliar sense of calm. It was like falling into a deep warm ocean. Waves of pleasant warmth lapping at her mind, gliding across her body in lingering touches. How long had it been since she had been comforted like this? When was the last time she felt this safe with someone?</p><p>Who had that person even been?</p><p>Silk couldn’t remember.</p><p>Silk didn’t dwell on the thought. She let her breathing even out. Wilbur’s hands stilled, holding her in a secure embrace. Silk just relaxed and allowed contentment to sweep over her as sleep finally settled on her like a heavy weight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we go! I have been SO exited to write ExiledInnit and give Tommy some comfort! I also threw in a Wilbur scene for good measure hehe.<br/>I am SO EXCITED for next chapter it's literally one of the chapters I have been excited to post since I started this fic so stay tuned! :)</p><p>Dream helping Silk in return for info on L’Manberg (specifically Tommy) was always going to be the deal. However, since one of Silk’s main roles in this story is to look after and care for Tommy I sort of struggled to find a way in which Silk could be giving Dream information (and therefore ‘betraying’ Tommy) but still be maintaining a good relationship with Tommy. I.e if Tommy ever found out he wouldn’t consider it such a huge betrayal that their relationship would be irreparably damaged. Silk’s info seemingly contributing to Tommy’s exile definitely was the best option because, as we know, Tommy would have been exiled regardless of Silk’s involvement and at the end of the day this was Tubbo’s decision so Tommy would be placing the majority of the blame on him rather than Silk</p><p>As always kudos and especially comments are so so appreciated! Please let me know what you think! Especially comments honestly make my day, even if its constructive criticism don't be afraid to let me know what you think! Also feel free to ask me any questions if I haven’t made something clear or you want to know more! Especially since we are pretty much in the actual plot now I really want to know what my readers are thinking! Please also share this fic if you enjoy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. All I Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hell, I am back. Thank you for your kind words, support and understanding of my little break. </p><p>I have been SO excited to post this chapter ever since i started writing this story so I really hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy’s exile was difficult.</p><p>Silk spent most of her time in Logstedshire with Tommy. She would only occasionally leave to fetch things from the Dream SMP, or briefly work on Wilbur’s revival, if Tommy insisted that he didn’t need her for a while. She never slept whilst Tommy did. Something about leaving the younger boy unguarded when he was most vulnerable set her on edge. She instead took short naps during the day, settling herself down under trees or above mineshafts whilst Tommy got on with his day. Tommy constantly chided her about her sleeping locations. He frowned at her and told her that it was <em>her</em> job to tell <em>him</em> to get some proper sleep, not the other way round. Silk chose not to tell him that she slept in odd places because she wanted to be close enough to him, that any sounds of trouble would be able to wake her. That the anxiety of falling asleep at night and Tommy not being there in the morning kept her awake. Instead, she grinned at him and told him she was just like a cat and preferred to sleep in the sun.</p><p>Part of Silk’s reluctance to take her eyes of Tommy was born from his recent behaviour. Tommy had been withdrawing from her. They were spending more time together than they had before, but Silk felt like Tommy was much further away. He was quieter. He clammed up the second she pressed him about anything. He was less receptive to her touch. He avoided eye contact. He shrunk away from her when she approached. Silk could have easily compiled a long list of ways in which Tommy was behaving <em>differently</em>. It set her on edge.</p><p>Why was he drawing away? Nothing about their relationship had changed. Silk had been acting the same as always since arriving at Logstedshire. When Tommy had started withdrawing, she had also withdrawn slightly. She thought that maybe in her concern she had been suffocating Tommy. But Tommy didn’t bounce back to her as she had expected. He had only put more distance between them.</p><p>Maybe he hadn’t actually forgiven her for leaving? Maybe, after thinking about it for a few days, Tommy had decided that he had been too hasty to forgive her and now he was backtracking?</p><p>Or maybe Dream had told him.</p><p>The thought filled her with dread. What if Dream had told him that she had been reporting on him? She knew that if he had, Dream would have twisted the story in the worst imaginable way. Dream would make Tommy hate her.</p><p><em>Dream</em>.</p><p>A shiver ran up Silk’s spine.</p><p>The comfortable push and pull that they had fallen into in previous weeks had disappeared. It had turned into something dangerous. <em>Dream</em> was dangerous. Sure, Silk had always been cautious of the slightly threatening aura that rolled off Dream in waves, but it was no longer <em>slight</em>.</p><p>Dream was no longer trying to hide that he posed a threat to her. He was <em>flaunting</em> this fact. Silk assumed this was in an attempt to keep her obedient. ‘<em>You cant beat me. </em>I<em> am a threat to </em>you<em>, not the other way round. I’m showing you that. You cant fight me. You must obey’</em> Something along those lines.</p><p>Unfortunately for Dream, it wasn’t working.</p><p>Silk felt like a rebellious teenager every time she wrote a lie in a diary. Although, that seemed like a trivial comparison considering she was playing with her life. She knew that. She was aware that Dream could – and potentially <em>would</em> – kill her if he knew she was lying to him. At best he would stop supplying her with the items that she so desperately needed.</p><p>That didn’t stop her from lying though. No matter how small, if Tommy did anything that Silk thought would upset Dream, she wouldn’t write it down. She would sit up after Tommy fell asleep, rapidly tapping her quill against the diary as she fabricated a convincing timeline for Tommy’s day. A few days ago, Dream had started asking her for an inventory of Tommy’s items in addition to the diaries. After painstakingly counting all of Tommy’s belongings, Silk had listed numbers that were nearly half of the real amount. Dream was yet to notice. Dream never fact checked anything that she wrote. Silk was surprised by this. She doubted that Dream genuinely had that much faith in her. If he did, Silk was unsure what she had done to earn his trust. Silk chose not to dwell on the thought. There were far more important things at hand.</p><p>It was now the sixth day of Tommy’s exile. Silk’s jaw went slack and the supplies in Silk’s arms clattered to the floor. The sound echoed across the plains and made Tommy flinch.</p><p>“He did <em>what</em>?” Silk cried in outrage.</p><p>Tommy looked nervous at Silk’s rage. His eyes were darting away from her and he let out a nervous breath. “He took my armour and blew it up.” He waved his hands as if that would cool her down. “But it doesn’t matter that much! Iron is so easy to get, I can make more in like five minutes.”</p><p>Silk gave him a withering look. “<em>Right</em>, and how many times has he done this?”</p><p>Tommy cringed. “Like…six times?”</p><p>“So <em>every day</em>?!” Silk gaped at him.</p><p>Silk felt like the air had been knocked out of her. The hairs on her neck bristled. Her skin was crawling.</p><p><em>Dream has been doing that </em>every<em> day? </em>When<em>? When would he have the chance? I’m with Tommy nearly 24 hours a day!</em> Silk gritted her teeth as panicked thoughts raced through her mind. The conclusion was painfully clear in Silk’s mind.</p><p><em>He’s been watching us. He’s been watching us and waiting until I leave Tommy to approach</em>. Silk felt cold despite the warm sun on her skin. Silk felt her clenched fists begin to shake. <em>Why? Why didn’t Tommy tell me? Why didn’t Tommy stop me from leaving? What else has he been doing to Tommy whilst I’m not around? I knew Dream had been here, but Tommy never said…</em></p><p>Silk forced herself to control her rapid breaths. She willed herself to stay calm, at least for now.</p><p>Silk let out a sigh. She carefully noted the placating motions Tommy was making and how his blue eyes were darting around nervously. He was refusing to look at her and worrying at his bottom lip. She narrowed her eyes. <em>He’s hiding something. What else has Dream done?</em></p><p>Silk’s eyes widened in realisation.</p><p>Silk quickly advanced on Tommy, clutching his shoulders, and fixing him with a serious look.</p><p>“Tommy. Take off your shirt.” She demanded.</p><p>Tommy sucked in a breath. Panic flashed behind his eyes. He opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it again when Silk tightened her grip on his shoulders.</p><p>Tommy sighed, stepping away from Silk. He gave her a quick sideways glance, checking for confirmation. Silk nodded. He looked uncomfortable as he awkwardly shrugged of his t-shirt.</p><p>Silk was once again struck by how scrawny Tommy was. He was tall, but his arms were thin, and his ribs were pronounced under his pale skin. He had some muscles, born from intense fights involving heavy weapons, but his thin stature told the tale of a boy who hadn’t been fed properly for <em>years</em>.</p><p>Silk’s eyes quickly fell on a wound running across Tommy’s bicep. It was thin and red, a few days old from the looks of the healing progress. Silk gently dragged her finger alongside the cut and Tommy winced.</p><p>Silk knew that Tommy could see her putting two and two together in her head, as he quickly scrambled to explain. “That only happened a few times Silk. It’s just because I wouldn’t put my armour in the hole at first. Its my own fault really, I should have just done it, but I didn’t want to at first, I was like ‘<em>bitch I worked hard for that armour’</em> you know? I got it myself! But it’s not that big of a deal really, it’s almost like a little bonding thing we do now, you know? It’s really not-“</p><p>“Dream did this?” Silk asked lowly, cutting off Tommy’s nervous rambling.</p><p>Tommy paused, nodding slowly. Silk glanced over the cut once more. It was long and thin, like a wound caused by…</p><p>“With his sword?” Silk spoke quietly flicking her eyes up to Tommy for confirmation.</p><p>Tommy averted his gaze.</p><p>Rage bloomed like an explosion in her chest. Her heart pounded, a beating melody of fury. Dream had raised his sword to Tommy. <em>Tommy</em>, who he had already taken everything from. That wasn’t enough for him. He had to take more. He had to <em>hurt</em> him.</p><p>Silk felt anger flooding her veins like a dam bursting. Her body was trembling. Her gaze was zeroed in on the cut on Tommy’s arm. She was going to kill Dream. Silk wasn’t even sure if she meant that as a figure of speech or not. She would certainly hurt him. She would take that god damn smiley mask and she would…</p><p>A soft tug on her shirt pulled her from her thoughts.</p><p>Tommy looked at her sadly. “Silk. Please don’t.”</p><p>Silk studied Tommy’s anxious face. Anger continued to thrum in her veins, but she felt her stature soften slightly.</p><p>Tommy looked uncomfortable. “It’s okay Silk, please don’t get mad.” He murmured.</p><p>Silk’ chest hurt. It left a cavernous crack spreading across her heart. Despite towering over her, Tommy looked so small. His blue eyes were uncertain and tired. They were silently begging her not to be angry, as though her anger were directed at <em>him</em>. She patted Tommy’s head softly, barely resisting the urge to swaddle him in a hug.</p><p>“I’m not mad at you Tommy” She assured him, “I’m mad at Dream for hurting you”</p><p>“It’s okay Silk. Please don’t do anything.” Tommy tried to keep his voice level, but a pleading lilt bled into his words.</p><p>Silk gazed at him tenderly, trying desperately to keep the pity she felt from showing in her eyes.  Silk took a deep breath, forcing herself to quell the flames in her stomach. She stepped away from Tommy, slapping a smile on her face and lightly ruffling his hair. “Okay then. Let’s get cracking on that nether bridge, shall we?”</p><p>Tommy grinned at her gratefully. Tommy ran to the main hub of Logstedshire, quickly returning with the supplies they needed. He was bent over, rummaging through his bag when he threw the question over his shoulder. “What time is it?”</p><p>Silk gazed at the sun, hanging low in the sky. “Around 5pm I guess, why?”</p><p>Silk saw Tommy’s shoulders tense though the thin material of his t-shirt. His face fell, his lips parting slightly and dread clouding his eyes like a smokescreen. A shaky breath escaped his lips. He froze momentarily, before continuing to pack his bag as though nothing had happened. “I think Dream’s coming soon, that’s all.”</p><p>Silk’s heart sank. Alarm bells flared in her mind, screaming that something was seriously wrong with this situation. Anxiety bled an icy river through her body.</p><p>What had Dream been doing whilst she was away to elicit that reaction from Tommy?  Sure, he had physically hurt Tommy - and Silk was not going to forget about that anytime soon - but Tommy had fought Dream countless times. Tommy had told Silk that Dream had nearly killed him multiple times. So, Silk knew Tommy was capable of defending himself or fighting back if Dream got violent. The prospect of an altercation with Dream should not put <em>that</em> look on his face.</p><p>Silk laid a tender hand on Tommy’s shoulder. Tired blue eyes glanced up at her from underneath an over-grown blonde fringe. Silk gently brushed Tommy’s fringe out of his face. She smiled softly. “Let’s get going, okay bud? I’ll be with you the whole time.”</p><p>Tommy rose to his feet with a scoff, directing his gaze away from her. “It’s just the nether.”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant.” Silk murmured.</p><p>Tommy didn’t respond.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The nether was hot.</p><p>That was an obvious statement, but that initial blast of heat never failed to catch Silk off guard. It was the kind of hot that licked at you, brushing against your skin like sandpaper. Sweat trickled down Silk’s back as she worked, balancing precariously on the path’s edge to extend it. They had made impressive progress. The foundation of a path that stretched across vast lava lakes had been set, they were simply making it wider today. Silk hummed whilst she worked, the sound quiet in comparison to the popping lava below and the distant screams of ghasts.</p><p>Tommy was quiet. He only made non-committal noises in response to questions or occasionally spoke to request more materials from her. Silk could tell something was weighing heavily on Tommy’s mind, but she was scared to push. Tommy clearly objected to the idea of her getting involved with him and Dream, and Silk didn’t want to motivate Tommy to draw away from her further.</p><p>Silk glanced over to the younger boy. He had stopped working. He was standing on the edge of the path, looking straight down at the vast lava lake beneath them. His blue eyes were dull, holding a far-off expression. Nether drafts ghosted across him, shifting his blond hair slightly and ruffling his red and white t-shirt. Silk frowned and called out to him, slowly walking closer. Tommy didn’t respond. His mouth set in a straight line and his fists clenched. Tommy’s left foot shuffled closer to the edge in a barely noticeable movement. Silk’s eyes widened.</p><p>Silk roughly grabbed the scruff of Tommy’s t-shirt, yanking him back harshly so that his back was against her chest.</p><p>Tommy gasped in surprise, pulling away from Silk and spinning around to face her. “What the fuck?!”</p><p>“Stop that.” Silk demanded.</p><p>“Stop what?” Tommy spat at her</p><p>“Looking at the lava like you’re going to jump” Silk stated</p><p>Tommy went still. He averted his eyes but did not dispute Silk’s speculation of his thoughts.</p><p>Silk cupped Tommy’s face gently in her hands. “Stay away from the edge Tommy. It’s not your time to die.”</p><p>Tommy shrugged her hands away and turned his back to her. “You sound like Dream”</p><p>“Dream and I have very different objectives and feelings when we say that.” Silk explained</p><p>Tommy scoffed. “Right and what’s your objective?”<br/>“To keep you safe.” Silk answered seriously.</p><p>“What if I don’t want to be safe?” Tommy muttered.</p><p>Her stomach dropped. “Don’t say that.” Silk’s voice wavered.</p><p>“And what if I meant that?!” Tommy shouted, turning to face Silk angrily “What’s the point of being safe? Or <em>alive</em>? I barely have any family or friends. They’re all traitors or <em>dead</em>.  My best friend, my <em>brother</em>, exiled me and left me at the mercy of that big green prick. He hasn’t visited me or spoken to me. No one visits me except you and Dream. I fought all those wars, sacrificed nearly <em>everything</em> and for <em>what</em>? What do I have to show for it? I’m alone. If no one cares that I’m exiled, no one will care that I’m dead.”</p><p>
  <em>Crack.</em>
</p><p>Tommy’s hand flew to his already reddening cheek. Silk’s hand was still raised from where she had slapped him. She stormed forward and grabbed Tommy by the collar of his t-shirt.</p><p>“<em>Don’t say that</em>” She shouted at him, her voice echoing across the nether. “You’re a fucking idiot TommyInnit. Do you really, <em>really</em> think people will be happy if you kill yourself?! Do you really think that will solve anything?! Who the fuck put that thought in your head?! Are you stupid?! What Tubbo did was shit. Being exiled sucks. You don’t need me to tell you that, but that doesn’t mean no one cares whether or not you’re <em>alive</em>! You’re angry, you’re upset, you’re hurt. I get it. So, get angry, throw a tantrum, go vandalise some shit, but <em>kill yourself</em>? No. No fucking way. That will <em>never</em> be an option for you Tommy, I wont let it be.”</p><p>Silk’s chest heaved with panting breaths and her throat hurt from her violent shouts. Tommy blinked at her for a few seconds, looking shell-shocked. Then Tommy did something she had never seen before.</p><p>He burst into tears.</p><p>Silk immediately allowed them to sink to the floor, gathering Tommy in her arms as she did so. Silk's hands flitted across Tommy’s body in gentle, placating motions. She made quiet shushing noises and cradled Tommy like a child. Tommy <em>was</em> a child. She held Tommy tightly, stupidly trying to cover as much of his body with her own as though she could protect him that way. Her hand came to rest in Tommy’s hair, firmly keeping Tommy’s head hidden in her shoulder. She ducked her head down, breathing in Tommy’s familiar scent as a deep ache settled in her chest. Tommy’s body shook in her arms. His shoulders trembled with each sob that was ripped from him. Tommy’s cries echoed across the nether, the painful melody vibrating in Silk’s ears. Silk knew she would hear that sound again in her nightmares. A cold knife twisted in her chest with every cry the younger boy let out.</p><p>Silk felt tears of her own spill over as Tommy sobbed and she buried her face in Tommy’s hair to hide them.</p><p>“I’m here to protect you Tommy. Whether you like it or not. Don’t ever say something as fucking stupid as that again.” Silk tried to keep her voice stern, but a tell-tale crack gave away the terror that Tommy’s words had instilled in her. Silk wasn’t afraid of many things. She considered herself to be brave and level-headed, but the idea of being so close to losing Tommy…She had felt a cold fear that she was entirely unfamiliar with.</p><p><em>I’ll protect you. I won’t let him hurt you. I’ll kill him if I have to. I love you</em>. Her mind was swallowed by protective thoughts. Her whole body ached with a feeling she didn’t know how to control. Tommy burnt in her arms. A disastrous mixture of rage and sadness crashed through her. <em>I can’t let this happen again.</em> Her thoughts swirled. <em>I don’t want to see him cry like this again. I have to protect him. I have to.</em></p><p>Silk felt that this moment was the calm before the storm, as anger slowly simmered in her veins. However, her own feelings were secondary in that moment. Silk pulled herself from her thoughts, smoothing circles across Tommy’s back as his sobs slowly became less violent.</p><p>“I’m sorry for hitting you Tommy.” Silk murmured, squeezing the younger boy tightly.</p><p>“I’m sorry Silk.” Tommy hiccups through his tears. “I won’t go near the edge again, I promise.”</p><p>Silk’s heart ached and she pressed a firm kiss to Tommy’s head.<br/>“That’s all I want Tommy.” Silk shifted their position, letting Tommy lie between her legs whilst he continued to cry on her chest. She brushed a tender hand over his hair, before bringing her cheek to rest atop Tommy’s head. Silk’s closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation of Tommy’s heart beating next to hers. “That’s all I want”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Tommy’s eyes were still red from crying when they came back to the overworld.</p><p>Silk had kept her hand loosely looped around Tommy’s wrist as they walked, not restricting Tommy but keeping him close. This meant Silk felt it immediately when Tommy tensed, freezing on the spot.</p><p>Silk instantly turned to Tommy, murmuring gentle words, and already reaching out to him, trying to assess what was wrong. Tommy’s eyes were fixed over her shoulder, not acknowledging her instinctive fussing. Silk furrowed her brow and followed his gaze.</p><p>Dream was waiting for them, leg kicked up casually leaning against the tent pole. He turned to them lazily, hand brushing over the hilt of his sword in a motion that wasn’t lost on Silk.</p><p>Rage washed over Silk like a wave of fire. Her right hand twitched, aching to grab her bow and shoot Dream where he stood. Her pulse thundered in her ears and she clenched her fists tightly, digging her nails into her palms to focus herself.</p><p>“Silk!” Dream kicked off from the tent pole with an easy smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”</p><p>“No. Clearly not.” Silk spoke through gritted teeth. She approached Dream carefully. She tugged Tommy’s wrist, pulling him closer to her. Despite Silk wanting to rush Dream, fists flying, defending Tommy came first.</p><p>Dream had his mask on. Silk noted this as Dream had stopped wearing his mask around her in recent weeks. It set her on edge. Not being able to see half of his face left Dream incredibly difficult to read.</p><p>Dream turned his head from Silk to Tommy, letting out an amused noise. He seemed to shrug to himself, before gesturing towards a hole he had dug in the ground next to the tent. “You know the drill Tommy.”</p><p>Tommy hesitated, his eyes flicking towards Silk as if asking her what he should do. Silk tightened her grip on his wrist. <em>Do not move. </em>Silk narrowed her eyes at Dream.</p><p>“Come on now Tommy, you’re not going to try and <em>fight</em> me, or something are you?” Dream chuckled, as if the idea were completely absurd.</p><p>Tommy shifted his shoulders in discomfort. He pressed harder into Silk’s side. Silk squeezed Tommy’s wrist again. <em>Do not move.</em> She slid her dominant foot forward slightly, subtly adjusting her shoulders to a defensive stance.</p><p>When Tommy still didn’t move, Dream stepped towards him, hand outstretched.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Get away from him.</em>
</p><p>Without thinking Silk roughly shoved Tommy behind her, stepping in between him and Dream and aiming her bow.</p><p>Dream froze in shock. The string of Silk’s bow was not drawn, but Silk had loaded an arrow and she was in an offensive position. It would take her less than a second to fire, should she choose to.</p><p>“Silk?” Dream’s voice was low, his tone making even just saying her name feel like it was laced with a threat.</p><p>Silk’s heart felt like it was going to beat out her chest. Anxiety was making her hands shake and for once she felt unsure whilst holding her bow. Furious though she was, she knew she couldn’t win in a fight against Dream. He was stronger. He had power over her. She <em>owed</em> him.</p><p>“Get away from him” Her voice came out as shaky as she felt.</p><p>Dream’s mask gave away nothing, but she could envision that he was raising an eyebrow at her. “Do you really think you’re in a position to fight me?”</p><p>“No.” Silk answered honestly. “I know I’m not skilled enough to fight you and win, and I know the consequences of disobeying you given our agreement.”</p><p>“But I can’t allow you to hurt this child anymore.” Silk growled.</p><p>“You make me feel sick Dream. I’ve never felt <em>hate</em> like this before. He is a <em>child</em>!” Silk shouted. “He’s been exiled! You got what you wanted! <em>Stop punishing him</em>!”</p><p>“I don’t want to fight you Dream. I know I’ll lose, but I will <em>if you make me</em>.” Silk readjusted her grip on her bow, surer of herself.</p><p><em>I </em>will<em> protect Tommy.</em> She gritted her teeth.</p><p>“Silk stop it.” Tommy sighed from behind her. “It doesn’t matter I can get more armour.”</p><p>Silk heard the clink of metal, indicating that Tommy was taking his amour off.</p><p>“<em>No</em>!” She shouted, not chancing a look over her shoulder. The clinking stopped. “He’s pushing you around for no reason other than his own sick satisfaction. It’s fucked up.”</p><p>“Tommy is an alone, traumatised <em>child</em> Dream.” A lump formed in Silk’s throat and she tried not to choke on her words. “I know you don’t care about anything except yourself, but you’re not the one that has to see the terrified look on his face when he knows your coming!”</p><p>“I <em>will</em> protect Tommy,” Silk voiced her thoughts out loud. “You’re not going to hurt him anymore Dream.”</p><p>Dream sighed, resting a hand on the hilt of his sword. “Are you going to shoot me?”</p><p>Silk drew the string back on her bow. “If I have to.”</p><p>Dream smiled, but it was a threatening, predatory smile. He made a small noise of amusement and held both his hands up. “Okay, okay. I’ll leave. For today.”</p><p>Dream turned his attention to Tommy. “You know she’s not always going to around to protect you Tommy. You know what will happen when she’s not. Don’t let this give you any ideas about fighting back.”</p><p>The threat burnt a hole in Silk’s stomach.</p><p>
  <em>That’s it.</em>
</p><p>She fired.</p><p>Dream stumbled backwards, partially from the force, partially from shock. Silk had made no qualms about going for the kill shot. Her arrow had struck him right between the painted eyes of his mask. Said mask, as a result, had cracked. The right side of the mask had fallen to the floor, revealing one enraged green eye.</p><p>Silk didn’t hesitate in sheathing an arrow of instant harming. She knew Dream knew what it was from the colour.</p><p>“That was a warning shot.” Silk growled. “If I have to shoot this arrow I will not miss.”</p><p>“Leave Dream. Right now.”</p><p>The anger was still in Dream’s eyes. “If you think we have any sort of agreement after thi-“<br/>“We don’t.” Silk cut him off. “Our agreement never entailed me allowing you to abuse a child. I will find my own way to help Wilbur if I need too.”</p><p>Dream straightened his shoulders. Anger was radiating off him in waves. He fixed her with a glare that would have sent a shiver gliding down her spine, had her body not been on fire with fury. Dream looked like he wanted to argue further, but instead he turned away. His hand hovered over the hilt of his sword, but his feet moved to carry him away from the pair.</p><p>Silk still tense. Dream was…retreating?</p><p><em>No</em>. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. His back was turned, but the tension in his muscles indicated he was primed to fight. He was still vibrating with anger. He wasn’t going to just walk away from this. There was no way. He wasn’t…</p><p>One visible green eye slid towards her and Silk’s body knew what was going to happen before her mind could catch up. She pushed herself forward, unsheathing her sword. The sound of metal on metal vibrated through the air. Silk narrowed her eyes as she pushed Dream’s sword back with her own. “You son of a bitch.”</p><p>Dream smirked. “I surprised you caught on.” He raised his arms again to swing his sword. Silk hopped back, grabbing Tommy’s shield that had been left leaning against the tent and throwing it in front of her to block Dream’s hit.</p><p>Silk gritted her teeth. Dream was angry, but so was she. If he wanted a fight, then she would give him a fucking fight.</p><p>Silk swung wildly, fire pushing her arms to move. Anger radiated off her every strike, her sword vibrating with the force of her blows.</p><p>Fighting with a sword sucked. Fighting with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other sucked <em>more</em>. However, Silk knew facing Dream without a shield was guaranteed to lead to serious injury.  She was not used to close combat. She was an archer, a long-range fighter. Swords felt unfamiliar and heavy in her hands. They left an ache in her shoulders and callouses on her hands.</p><p>Still, that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to fight with one.</p><p>Dream was adept at hand-to-hand combat. He was successfully blocking all her swings, in between attack of his own. However, Silk was holding her own. Neither was able to land a hit on the other and the ferocity of Silk’s attacks were physically driving Dream back, step by step.</p><p>The repeated crash of Dream’s sword slamming into her shield resonated up Silk’s arm and she gritted her teeth. They were getting nowhere with just swords and shields.</p><p>She dropped down and swung her leg low, attempting to take Dream’s feet out from beneath him.</p><p>It didn’t work.</p><p>Dream nearest leg wobbled and he stumbled for a moment, but Silk’s kick didn’t have enough momentum to take out his second leg. Silk swore softly and sprung away from Dream, choosing to use the opportunity to get out of Dream’s retaliation zone.</p><p>Dream was bigger than her. He was stronger than her and more skilled than her. Silk was holding her own for now, sure, but she knew she had no prospects of <em>winning</em>.</p><p>Dream wasted no time in resuming the offensive after regaining his balance. His attacks were harsher now, his blows falling harder and faster. Silk was now the one being forced back. Silk gritted her teeth, swinging her sword to block Dream rather than her shield. Dream smirked. He twisted his sword, swinging it in a short, sharp jab and knocking Silk’s sword from her hand.</p><p>Silk gasped, immediately retreating from Dream and holding her shield in a defensive position.</p><p>Dream stopped attacking, looking down at her with a satisfied smirk. He relaxed his arms, his sword dragging along the grass. It was clear from his demeanour that he believed the fight to be over. Afterall, without a weapon Silk couldn’t fight back, right?</p><p>Silk clenched her fist.</p><p>
  <em>No. This isn’t over. </em>
</p><p>Silk rushed at Dream, this clearly surprising the other as he hesitated before resuming his offensive stance.  Silk used her shield in her left hand to protect her body and push Dream’s sword away. One shocked eye widened, just before Silk rammed her fist into Dream’s face.</p><p>She hissed as her knuckled were crushed against the bone of Dream’s chin. She used Dream’s initial shock to quickly retreat, holding her shield firmly in front of her.</p><p>A dark expression crossed Dream’s face. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a small smear of blood appearing in the corner.</p><p>In an instant, Dream was in front of her slamming his sword into her shield, rage reflecting in his eye. Dream had dropped his shield in favour of using both his hands to direct force behind his blows. Dream was ruthless. His strikes came in such quick succession that Silk couldn’t have hoped of fighting back, weapon-less or not. Eventually, the force of his rapid attacks knocked Silk to the ground. Silk winced, holding her shield above her as the rhythmic thumping of Dream’s sword racked her body and then…</p><p>Her shield broke.</p><p>Silk gasped as splinters flew past her face and the wood cracked and fell away from the handle. Dream looked down on her with cold eyes, but did not attack her further, seemingly satisfied that she was defeated.</p><p>Dream turned his back to her. Dream turned to <em>Tommy</em>.</p><p>Silk could see the panic in Tommy’s eyes as Dream lifted his sword, ready to swing.</p><p>
  <em>No. Please.</em>
</p><p>Silk moved without thinking.</p><p>Shield-less, she threw herself between Tommy and Dream, throwing both her arms in front of her face in a defensive position.</p><p>The feeling of metal slicing through her wrist and touching her bare bone was something she hoped to never feel again. It sent electric agony crawling down her spine.</p><p>Silk knew Dream had hesitated and softened the blow just as he had swung. The fact that her hand wasn’t cut clean off told her as much.</p><p>Silk cried out in pain, blood pouring from her wrist and causing a concerningly large pool at her feet.</p><p>Still, Silk did not move. The pain in her wrist was agonising, but if she moved there would be nothing between Tommy and Dream. She planted her feet more firmly in the ground. She held her injured wrist with her other hand to keep her arms in place. Her shoulders were heaving with each panting breath she took and she narrowed her eyes at Dream.</p><p>Dream had an expression on his face she had not seen before.</p><p><em>Panic</em>.</p><p>“You fucking <em>idiot</em>!” He roared.</p><p>He threw his sword down and rummaged through his bag. He pulled out a cloth and took Silk’s hand. He quickly wrapped her wound, causing Silk to groan in pain. Now Dream was no longer posing a threat, Silks adrenaline subsided, and her head was being to spin from the pain.</p><p>Dream held something to her lips. “Eat this.”<br/>Silk glanced down. It was a golden apple, shining with a purple glow. A god apple.</p><p>“No.” Silk muttered, turning her head away. “That’s for…Wilbur”</p><p>Dream gripped the back of her neck so tightly she couldn’t resist when he forcefully turned her head back.</p><p>“<em>Eat it</em>.” He demanded, “With a wound like that, if you don’t eat a god apple you’ll be lucky if you can regain basic motor function in that hand.”</p><p>Silk made a distressed noise and shut her mouth tightly.</p><p>“Silk!” Dream barked at her “You’re not understanding what I’m saying. You will barely be able to hold a pen with a hand like that. How could you expect to hold a <em>bow</em>?”</p><p>“If the reason I brought you to the Dream SMP disappears what reason will I have to keep you here?” Dream words were harsh, but his tone had softened. “You cant help Wilbur if you’re not here.”</p><p>Silk reluctantly bit into the apple, tears pricking at her eyes. As the sweet flavour ran down her throat, she immediately noticed that the blood trickling down her arm had stopped. Dream stood silently by her for a few minutes, unwinding the cloth to check the healing process. He coldly demanded that she do nothing strenuous with that arm for at least a day. He told her she might not regain full use for a week, but she would be fine. Dream looked like he wanted to say more, but he bit his tongue, disappearing with nothing further than a threatening glare.</p><p>“Silk why did you do that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tommy cried, dropping to his knees beside her the moment Dream was gone.</p><p>Silk gave Tommy a soft smile, her eyes creasing at the corners. Worry swam in Tommy’s eyes and Silk desperately wanted to wash it away. She brushed a gentle hand across Tommy’s face, before pulling him in close. She buried her head in Tommy’s hair, clutching at his shoulders.</p><p>“I love you Tommy.” She spoke quietly. “I’m not going to let him hurt you. He can have my hand if he wants it. If that’s what will keep him away from you, he can have my whole fucking arm.”</p><p>“That’s a bit far.” Tommy muttered.</p><p>“It’s not.” Silk argued. Silk pulled back from Tommy, laying a gentle hand on his cheek.</p><p>“and if that’s not enough I’ll fight him one handed.” Silk grinned wide, trying to hide the tears brimming in her eyes.</p><p>She could tell Tommy was also holding back tears as he gave her a lopsided grin. Silk knocked their foreheads together letting out a shaky breath. “He’s not going to hurt you Tommy.”</p><p>“I don’t want him to hurt you either.” Tommy spoke quietly.</p><p>A smile curved across Silk’s lips. “We’ll figure something out buddy.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“Promise.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we go! Please let me know what you think! I'm sure all of us have wanted to punch dsmp!Dream in the face at one point lol. Thank you for reading and please comment and kudos! :)</p><p>I really enjoyed this chapter, Silk protecting Tommy like this is exactly why her character was created in the first place so I hope you love it as much as I do!</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Update</h2></a>
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    <p>Hi, </p><p> </p><p>This probably isn't the update anyone was wanting but I've just got to be honest at this point - I've lost almost all motivation for this story.</p><p> </p><p>Through the winter lockdown in the UK the Dream SMP fandom/content and Tommy's live streams were pretty much all that was keeping me going. Like everyone, I was isolated from my friends and (less like everyone) I could sense that my relationship at the time was slowly ending. However, now life is slowly reopening in the UK. I am seeing friends again, my relationship is over (a positive fact) and I'm completely focused on improving myself. With these changes I have found myself significantly less invested in the Dream SMP fandom than I was when this story started - I couldn't tell you the last time I watched a live stream that I used to watch daily. It is no longer a crutch that I need.</p><p> </p><p>I love writing, I really do. When I created Silk I was so impassioned to write her story, but now I find myself with little to no desire to continue. I left it until now as I wasn't sure if this was writer's block, but it's not - I simply am not in the same place of motivation that I was when this story began.</p><p> </p><p>I know there have been a small number of people following and enjoying this story and that genuinely warms my heart and makes me so happy. So for the sake of those people I wanted to give a choice:</p><p>- I can completely abandon this story. I will leave it as is and maybe if I get a burst of motivation in a month, six months, a years time I could update a chapter or two. However no promises </p><p>- OR. Being disorganised as I am I did not completely write this story in order. I have about 10,000 more words already written of this story along with a detailed events plan of how the story would have panned out - almost scene by scene - if I had completed it. The 10,000 words are compiled of anything from fully fleshed-out scenes to snippets, sentences or mere dialogue. I am happy to publish everything I have ever written of Silk's story in one final chapter if this would give people somewhat satisfying closure for this story. </p><p> </p><p>Please let me know what would be preferable. </p><p>Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing, I'm sorry I don't have the drive to continue. </p>
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